Tombstone, Arizona - June 9, 2012 - AP (Associated Potatoes)

Today in Tombstone, Arizona, Senior Mexican Spotted Owl Hoobert Hooligan spoke for the first time to journalists from across the nation about the raging controversy over humans being allowed to have water in the now parched and withered Tombstone.

"Whoooo do these people think they are, anyway?", asked Hooligan, an owl flock organizer. "Whooooose land is this, after all? We sit in the trees, we fly through the air, we keep the neighborhood cat population down to a reasonable level - let the huuuuumans get their water somewhere else!"

The disagreement between the natural and fully organic Mexican Owl population and the occupying human forces in Tombstone has been escalating since last summer, when a Rethugglikkkan-set forest fire swept through the area in an attempt to wipe out the owl community, including their cute and harmless little baby owls. Much to their foolish chagrin, the fire unintentionally caused severe damage to the 26 mile long water pipeline that has brought water to Tombstone since its first encroachment in 1881.


Fortunately, the federal government has stepped in and is preventing the Tombstone Rethugglikkkans and Teabaggers from using the heavy equipment necessary to properly repair the pipeline. Obama administration Owl Czar Bill "Pecker" Green, in Tombstone this weekend for a meeting with the Tombstone Owl flock, stated for the record that, "President Obama, in saving these owls, is taking yet another dynamic step in the direction of saving this country. Just as the President killed Osama bin Laden in a spectacular and daring raid of unprecedented proportion, so too will he make sure that these Tombstone terrorists and their >spit< pipeline are kept under control.

Ya know, ROCK, Comrade Tovarich and I spent a day in Tombstone last December. Yeah, we got all the water we needed. Thing is, I didn't buy the amazing Cowgirl hat that I really wanted. A fiscal thing. That's what makes this a real tragedy!

Comrade R.O.C.K.,

When I first noticed your post about the spotted owl I was momentarily confused. I thought you were writing about The People's Environmental Advocate, comrade ‘Spotted Al' Gore.

Old ‘Spotted Al' would surely put those enviro-terrorist Rethugglikkans in their place. Maybe he could even make a few million dollars selling carbon credits while he is there.

Pamalinsky,

I would like to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and here's to many more.(I hope I'm not to far off.)

Occupy and replenish the earth. We need enough vittles to go around.

yuri trotynov wrote: Pamalinsky,

I would like to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and here's to many more.(I hope I'm not to far off.)

Oh, Yuri! Thank you for the Birthday wishes! How sweet of you to remember! Truth is, my birthday isn't until August! You must be referring to my virulent but heartfelt "off" post: https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/obama-skips-d-day-goes-fundraising-instead-t9109.html.


Truth is, I fudged the date of my father's death a bit for the sake of brevity. He was killed in this invasion, and a week before I was born, which was August 16th! Not actual D-Day itself. Just so you know. So, you're not too far off at all! Thank you again for these sweet wishes!