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Stimulus Plan Expenditures!

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Comrades, below is a mere partial list of what is contained in The Stmulus Plan™
that has already been passed by the Obamanauts in the House of Can-gress .

Please remember your place in the bigger scheme of things and completely
refrain from mentioning that there is actually nothing contained in it that will do anything to "stimulate" the economy.

More to the point however, our Stimulus Plan™ does nearly complete our wish list of top Liberal important spending programs.

What else would you like to see your hard earned tax dollars Other Peoples Money spent on?

  • 1.1 billion for Amtrack (I can't believe it, they were doing so well financially, because everyone I know uses the train to go cross-contry)
  • 50 million for the National Endowment for the Arts. (My goodness, you wouldn't believe how expensive placing a crucifix in a jar of urine and calling it "art" really costs these days)
  • 400 million for NASA to conduct climate research (I smell a Noble Prize or at least an Oscar here)
  • 300 million for Americorps (You remember this one, introduced under President Clinton it was designed to serve as a "domestic Peace Corps" and it helped to introduce the oxymoronic phrase "paid volunteer" into the American Vocabulary)
  • 1 Billion for the Census (Graveyards just keep getting bigger and bigger each year)
  • 400 million for localities to by "green buses" (Of course they had these way back in the old days but they were called Stage-Coaches then)
  • 650 million for the digital to analog converter program (Hey! wait a minute! We already gave the broadcasting compaines billions for their digital programs!)
  • 7.7 billion for the Federal Buildings Fund (I sure wish in the old days that they didn't put "In God We Trust" and the Ten Commandments in concrete on their buildings. Do you know how expensive and hard it is to scrape that crap off??)

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Comrade Robot, the Party takes issue with much of your thesis:

- AMTRAK: the 1.1 billion is to subsidize geese so they can ride instead of fly. Or would you rather they bring more planes down in the Hudson River due to your lack of vision?

- National Endowment for the Arts: do you realize how expensive it has become to get quality urine for artworks these days? Most is either clear or brownish-reddish in color, not the golden yellow true works of art require.

- NASA Climate Research: they are planning to launch Al Gore into space. 400 million is a bargain for someone of his enormous.... integrity.

- Americorps: The 300 million is for us to find out where the previous 300 billion went.

- Census: Comrade, the money is needed for us to find out how many of the opposition's voters miscounted poor people there are in each district so that we know how to pad voter rolls to give us a majority allocate resources to serve them better

- Green Buses: yes, we need green buses, America is sick of white and gray ones.

- Converter Program: Surely you realize the People will go mad with fear if they can no longer see Obama on TV. This is a no-brainer.

- Building Fund: Comrade, look at it this way: for years, Sen. Byrd has been building useless under-utilized federal buildings in West Virginia in anticipation of a future workforce. Now, we are going to build a bunch in Chicago to balance the load on the North American continent!

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Opiate of the People wrote:- AMTRAK: the 1.1 billion is to subsidize geese so they can ride instead of fly. Or would you rather they bring more planes down in the Hudson River due to your lack of vision?

- National Endowment for the Arts: do you realize how expensive it has become to get quality urine for artworks these days? Most is either clear or brownish-reddish in color, not the golden yellow true works of art require.

You can collect some from me that the geese comment elicited.

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Ok Comrades, let's not forget the 25 million for ATV trails, 335 million for CDC to conduct STD research (I wonder if that includes the biggest STD of all, pregnancy, and the treatments for it available at Planned Parenthood) and the 347 billion in interest we'll have to pay for borrowing 820 billion...

On your mark, get set... SHOPPING SPREE!!!! We can instantly finance every bit of pork on our agenda! Get out your Visa(Red) and go!

-Obamissar Vodkavich
Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products


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1.1 billion for Amtrack (I can't believe it, they were doing so well financially, because everyone I know uses the train to go cross-contry)

What is this? 1.1 Billion, we should be using cattle cars for proles. What do they want to do give them comfie seats to sit in? Next you'll be telling me they have Air Conditioning!!!

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Where's the money going for ACORN?! I absolutly insist part of this money go to ACORN and other community organizing organizations.

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Commissar_Elliott wrote:[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Where's the money going for ACORN?! I absolutly insist part of this money go to ACORN and other community organizing organizations[/HIGHLIGHT].

C.E. !! Fear not, Obama has slid under the table allocated over 1 billion to ACORN to pay them off for voter fraud to help them with community organizing......

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I want to form a voter fraud organization too and get my share of the billions! Perhaps canvassers armed with People's Rifles, wearing special Party Hats (ooh, red tinfoil in festive shapes, will the Party Milliner please chime in on this?) can go around to local cemeteries and make sure the last batch of progressives didn't miss anyone who recently moved in.

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Proletarian Robot wrote:
Commissar_Elliott wrote:[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Where's the money going for ACORN?! I absolutly insist part of this money go to ACORN and other community organizing organizations[/HIGHLIGHT].

C.E. !! Fear not, Obama has slid under the table allocated over 1 billion to ACORN to pay them off for voter fraud to help them with community organizing......

(Whew) good, I thought for a minute he was throwing them under the bus like his grandma. I couldn't fathom why he would do that unless they crossed him.



 
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