In the ongoing fight struggle effort to curb all violence everywhere, 7-year-old criminal Josh Welsh of Baltimore was suspended from school for biting an improper shape into a Pop Tart.

"We can never be too careful, nor start too early in a child's life," stated school principal B. Z. Body in the aftermath of the terrifying incident.

The student criminal was unavailable for comment, as he is being held in the Gulag for two days; other students, speaking off-camera, said that they didn't have any idea that young Josh was a potential reich wing terrorist prior to his arrest.

"I like Josh," stated fellow student Julia, "He's OK." Julia, obviously so shaken that she was unable to condemn the youthful criminal due to fears of potential repercussion when he is released from the Gulag, had little else to say.

Boy has sharp teeth too ....

Comrades, it's worse than we thought...

This punk has been a "cereal" killer since he was two.

Shocking! We need to purge the kollektive of such hooliganism! Such prepubescent thought criminals need to be denounced and sent to the gulag until they learn korrekt thoughts.

Violence in the kitchen.

This assault weapon is EXTREMELY dangerous because it is probably LOADED! (With strawberry, apparently, according to the box.)

AND high-capacity sprinkles, Comrade Opiate!

Let's face it - nobody needs to have high-capacity sprinkles. Seven sprinkles per Pop Tart is enough for New Yorkers, and it should be enough for the rest of the USSA too.

Again, if I needed a technological reason for self-mutilation, I'd have to go no further than my toaster's inability to properly brown a piece of bread. I discovered today, after shocking myself while attempting to dig out a piece of bread that was stuck in it, with a fork (and it was unplugged! I checked), that it makes an excellent weapon... particular when dropped from a 10th floor balcony. Well... maybe I threw it a ways so it looked like it came from my new neighbour's.... They're really noisy. They'll be out by May. Heheheheheheheh.

I thought hollow point breakfast eggs were banned in 1975!

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:AND high-capacity Sprinkles, Comrade Opiate!

Let's face it - nobody needs to have high-capacity Sprinkles. Seven Sprinkles per Pop Tart is enough for New Yorkers, and it should be enough for the rest of the USSA too.

Comrade Putout wrote:...and you are welcome for that softball Comrade The Peoples Comrade!

Rodman and Kim with kimchi and sprinkles.

Comrade Putout, as I'm sure you are aware, those - and these - are High Capacity Assault Sprinkles, and they can only be legally owned by the government.

Although, several sprinkles manufacturers are now refusing to sell sprinkles to state governments which don't allow their citizens to possess such terrifying sprinklage.