Image

Suicide Hot Lines Swamped By Hillary Announcement

User avatar

Hillary Clinton puts lesbian rumors to bed: 'Never even been tempted'

Hillary_Lesbian.jpg

Hillary Clinton officially declared she's not a lesbian - not that there's anything wrong with that.

Shocking Announcement

Suicide hot lines throughout the nation were swamped by an estimated 37% of eligible democratic voters, not including the necro proxies, as the news spread over the internet, the radio, and television. Some have questioned whether the fact that Hillary Clinton has disavowed lesbianism, whether the same holds for Hillary Rodham Clinton.

There is speculation among Washington insiders that this announcement may lead to John Edwards to declare that he has underwent gender reassignment surgery to try and pull the lesbian vote toward his faltering campaign. There has been no word from the Obama campaign other than some snickering.

Speaking in front of the NRA convention today, Democratic hopeful Bill Richardson stated he "was proud to pack a gun" though he went on to admit "This position doesn't always make me the most popular guy in the room with certain audiences."

Rising Republican candidate Fred Thompson has issued a statement that he refuses to bow to any pressure to seek the lesbian vote as "this is the third rail of politics, and I wouldn't touch it with Bill Clinton's cigar."

More developments are sure to follow in the coming days.

User avatar
What about her extended vacations to the bedroom with Nancy? I seem to remember that they had no problem sharing the same Hildo....


User avatar
What's the difference? How many of these people are there? First there was Hillary, then Billary, now who's doing what and whaa...?

User avatar
She herself admitted to having multiple personalities. Some of them are more equal than others.

<h3>EQUAL RIGHTS TO ALL MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES!
STOP DISCRIMINATION NOW!
PSYCHIATRY IS RACIST!</h3>

Followed by a picture of three women - Hillary, Rodham, and Clinton, holding hands and walking towards great future with the sun rising behind them.

Hillary=nerdy activist
Rodham=roaring bull dyke
Clinton=power-hungry ruthless politician

I don't have time now or I'd make the picture right now!

User avatar
Aahh. That explains everything. My head is no longer in danger of imploding... again.

User avatar
You know this is a serious concern Premier. The political strategists or Hillary herself have used different names for the Hillary over the years. When in the White House, she was almost entirely referred to as Hillary Clinton to link her closer to the Bill. But when out of the White House, in her run for Senator, she reverted back to the Hillary Rodham Clinton to emphasize the Hillary on her own right. When she wants to be associated with alleged "success" of the Bill, it reverts to HC.

Linky thing
<br>Another linky thing

User avatar
Red Square wrote:She herself admitted to having multiple personalities. Some of them are more equal than others.

Red, I assume we have emergency procedures in place here for any comrades that may not be able to handle the news about Hillary? I would hope all progressives would be understanding, but then you never know.

User avatar
Well, soon the name thing will be cleared up after the election when we can all start referring to her as Queen Who Must be Obeyed.

User avatar
What's wrong with just "Hillary"? Why does she have to have any last name at all? (And don't anyone give me that tired old Dan Quayle rhetoric about "family")

When was the last time you heard an Empress or Queen referred to by her last name as well as her first name?

When was the last time you heard someone attach whatever his last name was to Elvis? Elvis has been gone 30 years, and they still line up at Graceland like there's a brand new shipment of vodka at the end, just to gaze upon his tomb.

Elvis appeals to the female base.

Other wildly popular examples that appeal to a different parts of the electorate:

Liberace (always had a lock on senior citizens)

Cher (males, including those not old enough to vote)

Charo (swing voters)

OK, maybe I'm staggering off in the wrong direction here, unless our most excellent Empress starts wearing Bob Mackie sequined originals, feather boas, and shaking all her moveable body parts while plunking out show tunes on the piano (perhaps accompanied by Bill on the sax?)

Or does she do all that anyway while campaigning in Vegas?

User avatar
She goes by the name that the Hillary chooses. It is her choice to go by these names and Her Will must be obeyed, without question. We are incapable of knowing the vastness of the Hillary's wisdom and foresight. If she chooses to go by Hillary Clinton, Hillary Rodham Clinton, or if she chooses to be called Sign Post, we are to bow, chant her name reverently, and obey.


 
POST REPLY