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SUPERNOVA: A New Film By Algore


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I see nothing. Oh, well, it's probably just temporary. Stupid computer....

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That was as exciting as most of Algore's speeches! Blank, empty, devoid of content.

(I guess it was an imbedded clip but it didn't load.)

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This is the best I've seen from Algore so far!

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What is this? Some sort of treasonous slap at the Chairman? Hmmmm? Have you three nothing better to do than to make fun of the Chairman? I have some ditches that need digging, some beets to be brought in, some bricks that need to be made, some hollow points that need testing should you three be bored.

If you three had shown a little of the Peoples Initiative™, then you would have seen the most wise and informative video so graciously offered by the Chairman, rather than trying to make him feel bad because clearly some rethuglican Bush supporter tried to censor this video!

But seeing as how this technology was beyond you, I have "simplified" it for your viewing pleasure. Now get down on the floor and give us 50 Hsu bundles!

I am sorry Chairman that these 3 may have upset you and caused you discomfort. I will try to make sure this doesn't happen again.

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Ahh now I see it. This is a disgrace! Some reactionary impersonating the Algore! Algore would never have said anything like that. Let me tell you why:

Our Lord Algore, the Prophet of Doom, would never predict real doom. Why you ask? Simply because if it's unaviodable, then nothing can be done about it. This sounds obvious but it isn't. If nothing can be done about it, where is the reason for abolishing Capitalism and reducing our standard of living to foraging for roots and berries?

No comrades. The Algore only predicts Avoidable Armageddon. Avoidable by not being rich and embracing Socialism.

This cheap imitator should be sent to the Gulag. In fact, people who spread this vicious propaganda should be sent there with him. And in fact...

I DENOUNCE THE CHAIRMAN!

He is a reactionary plant. Someone! Seize him! Seize him!

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I really like Al Gore's hat! The Cube ought to sell designer tin-foil hats. They cost more but they're worth it. "What's the frequency, Kenneth? You need a genuine designer People's Cube tin-foil hat to really tune in to the Leader." Those are so cute. Sizes small, medium, large, and extra tall and pointy. Don't forget to buy one for your cat and dog!

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Our sun going supernova is a very serious topic. Millions of our tax dollars have been invested in researching whether the earth will survive. Bad news so far:

Hope Dims that Earth will survive Sun's death

The Cube should set up a research department. Lot of government grant money out there burning a hole in the Treasury's pocket.

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I'm sure if we spent billions as opposed to millions of tax dollars we would get better news on whether or not we will survive a man-made supernova. Throwing money at a problem – others people's money – is always the appropriate solution.

Why, I'm certain that if we provided every man, womyn and child with a special set of sunglasses (at an inflated cost, of course) capable of viewing the sun, why, we would have this whole supernova thing solved within the next fifty years!

Universal Sun-viewing Glasses if the only way we will solve man-made supernovas! We must outfit every American with such a tool in order to curb man-made supernovas!

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Kommissar Vodkov wrote: I DENOUNCE THE CHAIRMAN!

He is a reactionary plant. Someone! Seize him! Seize him!

Chairman!!

I ask you, is there any further evidence needed? I can certainly supply it. But this is enough to make a loyal progressive's greedy little heart burn with the urge to spew People's Justice on this out of control Criminal!

Chairman, I admire your compassion and control. I know that this outrage must have caused you some distress when you saw it, and I apologize that I was unable to get here in time to prevent this. I was engaged in collecting contributions for the Hope 'N Change campaign For the Children™ and did not see this until I had time to send the bundles to your off shore account.

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Pupovich wrote:Chairman, I admire your compassion and control. I know that this outrage must have caused you some distress when you saw it...


Distress? No, Commissar Pupovich - Vodkov's little outburst didn't cause me any distress. But, for the record, allow me to share with you what does cause me this "distress" you speak of...<xml><o></o>


Having to pay for a meal or leave a tip when my hosts - who are very wealthy and respected - know gawd damn well that it is THEIR responsibility to pay for my gawd damn meal and leave a gawd damn tip!

Having to be shuttled around in a cheap vehicle under $80,000 like some commoner.

Having to wake up in the morning and dress myself - I HATE DRESSING MYSELF!

Having to wipe my own ass and put the tooth-paste on my own tooth-brush.

Having to eat at a restaurant that doesn't cater to VIPs like me.

Being told that shoes, shirt and pants are required.

Being told that I cannot have sex in the plain sight of fellow passengers when flying commercial (which is in first-class, mind you).

Being told that my reserved table has been seated by people who obviously are below me.

Being told that I was wrong to burn down the restaurant that seated people who are obviously below me at MY RESERVED TABLE!

Having the homeless rub their greasy hands all over the polished tinted windows of my Volga limousine.

Having the homeless mowed down by my Volga limousine after watching them rub their greasy hands all over my polished tinted windows which then, in turn, causes me to spill my champagne all over my fine overcoat and trousers.

Standing in line like a commoner - a filthy, no good and greasy commoner!

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I am most grateful that you were not distressed in any way Chairman, you certainly have a stronger constitution than I. When I think of Criminal Kommissar Vodkov's ThoughtCrime™, I worry that other Party members may think that they too can openly defy the Party Elite. Sure, we both know that Criminal Kommissar Vodkov is both an undercover agent for the Empress and insane, and so it really is no skin off our baby soft behinds. but will others see things clearly?

Actually, the other day I realized that in truth, Commissar Vodkov really doesn't deserve a proper Show Trial. As I know only too well, such an experience serves to enhance ones Love for the Party, sheds the Pure Progressive Light into one's non-soul, and the purging of any ThoughtCrime™ that may or may not have been present, brings a release and joy. Then of course being seen in the same room with such Party illumini such as you, the Empress, Nancy etc, even though one may be on the stand with AK47's in your face with your name on the end of a People's Projectile™, the exposure results in a flood of progressive babes throwing themselves at you. Like the old saying goes, it doesn't matter what they say about you in the media, as long as they spell your name right. I know my trials made me a better Party Pup. No, Criminal Kommissar Vodkov doesn't deserve a People's Show Trial!

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Okay, I see it now.

Filthy kkkapitalist! He is making fun of our savior for his own personal gains and for the pleasure of others! Blasphemy!!


 
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