Image

Syria Gets a Timeout and Loses X-Box Privileges

User avatar

Syria denies Israeli Air Strike Occurred

Saturday, October 13, 2007, 8:00 p.m. EST

Now that Israel has admitted to conducting Air strikes into Syria last month, Syria has come out publicly and denied that any strikes occurred, according to CNN News. Even now, 45 minutes after making the announcement, it is so new that it has yet to be blogged by facebook or my MySpace adherents... or even CNN for that matter, despite them having made the announcement themselves...

In only the last hour, Syria has officially denied that any air strikes by Israel occurred, despite having protested the occurrences of these strikes previously, prompting all his friends to join in the constant complaining and whining, and just generally stirring up 'shit'. Having only recently confirmed that she did indeed strike at Syria and lifting the veil of secrecy surrounding the strike, the Israeli government, shrugging her shoulders and letting out a heavy sigh while rolling her eyes, responded, "Oh, come on!... Make up your mind, would you? And while you're at it, tell the truth about finishing the last piece of cake! Dad is still blaming me!"

Syria then proceeded to hit Israel from behind with a pillow when she tried to walk away, prompting Israel to grab Syria around the shoulders from behind and give him a noogie, messing up his hair for his date with Flat Fatima tonight... The United Nations has given both Syria and Israel a 'time-out', but Syria got mouthy about how Israel never gets pushed into the sea and really is due for a bath, prompting the UN to take away Syria's X-Box privileges for a week.

When Israel responded by laughing at Syria and calling him a little geek, the UN then warned it, "One more remark out of you, young lady, and you will take that bath... and the Mediterranean is awful cold this time of year!... and if you give me any more lip, I'll be talking to your father about that Bush boy you've been seeing so much of lately."

Israel responded by stomping off upstairs to her room and texting her friend, Galit Rosner, whose only comment was, "I don't really like that Bush guy either... Gidi and Yossi are way way cuter, and Yossi got her that really kewl MP3 player for her birthday!"

Israel was also heard to mutter under her breath at Syria, "That's it... I'm telling about your trip to New York last month when you said you were going to the library to study!" Syria is currently considering whether to deny these new allegations about visiting New York, but suspects that the UN already knows. "You're gonna get in soooo much trouble," said Israel, before slamming her bedroom door and turning up her stereo really loud.

User avatar
I thought western luxuries like Xbox and stuff were against Islam. I thought their only allowed game was "Hide little Akhmed in the Camel".

User avatar
Well, if Mooselems are allowed such things, what the heck are they doing with a Xbox?! Israel has the Xbox 360! That is unfair! And on top of that, Israel has Sonic Next Gen?! Syria should get a Xbox 360 too! Wait! We should take Israel's away from her!
<phone rings>
Hello? Yes? WHAT?! YOUR KIDDING!!
<slams phone down>
And now Israel is slated to get the Sonic Riders Zero Gravity!!!! Dang it those Japaneese! See what happens when the US wins a war?!

User avatar
I know. Last year a kid in one of my classes made the remark to one of his friends that Japan seems to be doing really well after we nuked them. Then he said that maybe if we nuke more countries, they would do better. Unfortunately some hippie feel sorry for everyone white male guilt ridden dick overheard and started acting all offended like he just uttered a terribly racist remark. Which is perfectly fine.

User avatar
<character off>

Sounds good to me, who is next? Iran? Russia?

User avatar
<character off>

Iran seems to be pushing it, but I'm not so sure we should give it to them with them begging so much for it. It's like they are looking for an excuse to go jihad on our asses, but maybe if we just blast them with our Weeaponizecd MASERS and Scalar weapons and stuff, we might be able to take them all out and save the juicy nukes for later.

</character off>

User avatar
<Character still off>
What I am waiting for is the anti-matter bombs. You think that nukes are big, just wait until we can mass-produce anti-matter! Then, we will not have to worry about dealing with countries, we can deal with entire regions! It has been said that a pocket-size bomb could take out all of New Youk (scary, really).

Listen world! We are a peaceful people, but we do protect oursleves! If! You want to destory us, we will fight back (well, as least half of us anyway)! And after the smoke clears, well, just look to the Japaneese to see what happens next.

User avatar
Yeah, a gram of anti-matter will create an explosion the size of the nuke dropped on Hiroshima. Just think what the hand grenades of the future will be like! The only problem is that it had to be magnetically contained in a vacuum because if it comes in contact with any "normal" matter, it goes explody.

User avatar
What I am also looking too is to use it for getting into space. They say that anti-matter the size of a penny can get the shuttle up there, was it eleventy or 12 times? Can't remember, but hey, just because I am ready to throw them at an enemy if need be, does not mean that I am a wormonger (although, I can already hear the left screaming not to build them long before we even can. Sure genusis! Let the enemy build them instead!). There is plenty of peaceful things to use this with.

User avatar
Damn that Syria! If I wasn't so Progressive, I'd say Syria needed to stop playing that damned X-Box all day and get a job.

Fortunately, I'm not that narrow minded and hateful.

User avatar
But Commissar M jobs indicate that there should be some renumeration for said work. Instead they have glorious opportunities for collective improvement......... Just bring your shovel


 
POST REPLY