For the morality, we need something that will bring great cheer to our comrades. Everyone likes to play a game. Russian roulette is a popular game, but we lost comrades due to many failures.

How about we play Clue? Justice Antonin Scalia died at a ranch a few days back so we found a person and a place. Now we need to find the murder weapon and the suspect.

We can all believe the federal judge who said it was a heart attack was clearly not telling the current truth. Dear Leader will not leave insubordinate judges living too long.

Also, the State will give out more ration cards for the winning pick.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:How about we play Clue?.

I am strongly in favor of somebody in Dear Leader's Badministration™ getting a clue.

Well, the report says his bedclothes were "unwrinkled", so we can rule out any sort of strangling. Furthermore, we can rule out a bullet as they would've definitely noticed the blood. I am convinced that this must be something dietary or chemical. He had a pillow over his head, maybe there was gas being pumped into a window and he was trying to filter it out? Maybe a nice-smelling fragrance was put on his pillow along with a sachet of an odorless deadly poison inside the pillow? Hard to say, there isn't much to work off of.

Captain Craptek, in the bedroom with a nutsack...

The always devious [color=#C0392B]Ivan the Stakhanovets[/color] tried to throw us off track when he wrote:
Captain Craptek, in the bedroom with a nutsack...

.
Ivan the Stakhanovets
In Tractor Barn #2
With A Tire Patch
.
(Remember... the adhesive must be dry to the touch on both surfaces before applying the patch.)

(I would also note: Ivan must be a stupervisor... he's not dirty at all and he has his shiny disco shirt on that he usually wears on a date!)

(Also observe: he is a short man... that tire is only six feet tall!)
.

Comrade Putout wrote:
Ivan the Stakhanovets
In Tractor Barn #2
With A Tire Patch

Putout, where can I purchase this tape? I'd like to play it on the demonstration TV's in the store and secretly film the reactions of passers-by.

All I know is, Comrade Putout told me to put big rocks on top of this 4x8 hole back of the ranch house, and make it look natural afterward.

Dare I say it? <putting on hard hat>

Commissarka Pinkie,
In the beet fields,
with a spade

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Dare I say it? <putting on hard hat>

Commissarka Pinkie,
In the beet fields,
with a spade

Mikhail, the Pinkie Heightened State of Awareness has been raised to Put On The Damn Helmet for the next month.

Bringing the thread back to the issue at hand. We just found another clue.