It is wiff gweight and pwhoa-found gweef that The Party™ today announced dat Congwessman Bonnie Fwank will be weetirewing fwum Congwess .

Congwessman Fwanks bwazed many new twails in many airwee-ahs. Wike male pwahstitution and the sucksessfool use of bwackmaling other Congwessmen.
He is twoowee a hearwhoa to da Peepholes Weepubwick.

Wet us not be discurwaged by his weetirement, instead wet us stwive forf as Bonnie wood want us to.

Be bwave Comwhads! Although Bonnie is weetirewing, The Stwuggle™ wemains!


EMBEDDED VIDEO NO LONGER AVAILABLE

Poor, slobbering, Barney. To be forced into retirement when the Glorious World fo Next Tuesday is so close at hand. Perhaps he is stepping down to join the crowds of the Occupy movement. Go down strong, Barney...go down strong, sweet prince.

Ivan Betinov wrote: Go down strong, Barney...go down strong, sweet prince.

EEEWWWW! Yuk!

I need a shower and a scrub brush after reading Ivan's post about Barney.

Tov: " EEEWWWW !" is right.

Dose wotten Wepubwickans are waising all kinds weewee wude speckuwayshuns as to why Bonnie is weetirewing. Some have insinuated dat Bonnie has dirt on him and dat's why he's pullwing out of DC. Well duh?! Bonnie always has dirt on him when he pulls out of DC! What happens between two consenting adults is nobody's business! Unwess of course you're a wascally Wepubwickan, wike Herman Cain! Dat's vairwee diffawent!*

*Bonniespeak is powered by FunnFwankFonetics

Comwhads, we must immortowize this "Chwampeon ov da Pweeples"!!
Roo is en chwarge ov Pawade Pwanning deez dayz?

Is dat da Peephole's Unicorn, Spike, giving Bonnie da "Cornholio"? Vairwee deewhitefull Comwahd! Vairwee Pwhoagwessive!*



*Bonniespeak is powered by FunnFwankFonetics

Comrades, let us remember Bonnie's trail-breaking announcement that he is gay. This helps to explain how he was living with a gay call boy in Bonnie's Georgetown town house, and while Bonnie was on Capitol Hill destroying the world's economy to lead us to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™, said boyfriend was running a call-boy service out of the Georgetown town house.

Well, credit where credit is due. His boys at least got screwed off premises; there is no such thing for the American taxpayer. And it's entirely possible that the boys were kissed first before they were screwed.

Bonnie tells us that he is leaving to pursue other interests. The smart money has it that he's going to have a speech therapist teach him how to move his upper lip. Which ought to help him in talking, and in other interests too.

But Bonnie is smart, which is why some RethugliKKKans I know like him. Well, I would choose Hannibal Lecter as a doctor too.

Cwedit where cwedit is due, Comwhad??? Isn't that what started the whole 2nd Depression in the first place, courtesy of Bonnie?

Is it twoo, weewee twoo dat Bwoo-no is katahwing the weetiremint party? Or will he be the main attwackshun?*


*Bonniespeak is powered by FunnFwankFonetics

Be bwave. Nobody wespects a cwybaby. Wook at the Wepubwikkans guy Boehnew...

Weetiewemint pawty? I'll bwing a date (FEMALE for me, thanks...), so Bonnie doesn't twy to pwovide one fwom his companion's stable.

Tovarichi, do not worry that Bonnie will provide you with an escort from his stable of rent-a-boys. I believe he closed that down when he was partaking of his wares and one of them, on seeing Bonnie disrobe, start singing under his voice, "I heard it on the grape vine..." Whether the rumor or the comparison to Bonnie's Wee Willie Winkie infuriated Bonnie we do not know.

Vairwee fine and good Fawthaw Pwog but what about Bwoo-no? Is he going to *ahem* come? Or at weest pway "Show & Tell"?

Kamerad Bawney is planning to spend the Rest Of His Years investigating the (completely unfounded) reports of socially unacceptable faggotry and sodomizationalism in The Peoples' Heroic Revolutionary Soviet of Bastin, Taxachusetts. He has promised to investigate every Nookie And Cranny of the Shocking Outlets of Human Sexuality Personal Behavior.

[And Kamerad Bawney has acquired an HD Video Recorder to Make a Complete Record of his investigations. By The Way, you can subscribe to Kamerad Bawney's "Special Website" for only $29.95 per month - (3 months minimum...)]

Laika, with Bruno it's tell and show. It's a small thing but...

Comrade Uncultured, I have no doubt that Bonnie Fwank's website will do a thriving business. Where else can you see a bean bag getting poked? Not since the bean-bag-snuff films of the 60s.

But there is a difference: Bonnie's website is a PC website. Every wallet lifted, every freedom curtailed, every stifling regulation laid, every thuggish intimidation of lenders, is by definition a money shot.

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Vairwee Pwhoagwessive!*

No Comwhad Roble Sprace Wog - it is "Fwro" that is Vairwee Pwhoagwessive!

Dearest Comrade Laika, Ever since Comrade Frank announced his retirement, you've had difficulties pronouncing your R's, which I would think would be quite problematic for a dog. Is this perhaps a delayed consequence to your compartment on Sputnik 2 overheating on Day Four of your voyage, or is it a result of Sputnik 2 completetly disintegrating upon re-entry?

Btw, how did you ever survive that, you wittle Wussian paht tewwiah, you. Wats, now you got me doing it. It's akchewy sohtaw catchy -- like a sexuawwy twansmitted disease

Callmelennie wrote: It's akchewy sohtaw catchy -- like a sexuawwy twansmitted disease

Sexuawwy twansmitted disease? Bonnie Fwank can't weetire now! Sumting as searweeus as sexuawwy twansmitted diseases needs Fedawell ovasite!

Oh, and Fawthaw Pwog, the Centwell Pwanning Weetiremint Commisar needs Bwoo-no's height wiff stillwettoes and his Carmen Miranda wike funny wooking hat so we'll know exactwee how tall to make Bonnie's soopwize weetiremint cake that Bwoo-no will jump out of?

My lord, Noble Space Dog, better make that cake the size of a swimming pool. At the very least a large hot tub. But it doesn't matter: the noise that will come from the inside will give it all away.

Ivan Betinov wrote:Poor, slobbering, Barney. To be forced into retirement when the Glorious World fo Next Tuesday is so close at hand. Perhaps he is stepping down to join the crowds of the Occupy movement. Go down strong, Barney...go down strong, sweet prince.

Actually I think Bwaney is going to occupy Freddies Fannie.

CUBEFWASH!!!

Comwades, dwy those tears and wipe the snot fwum your wunny noses. We have the chance to wepwace Comwade Fwank with a KENNEDY!!!

Yes, a KENNEDY! Why, just the vewy name sends me into a spontaneous ohgasm!

https://www.bostonherald.com/news/regio ... id=1384730

“If you built a perfect Kennedy, it would be Joe the 3rd. Harvard Law degree, Stanford, speaks fluent Spanish, good looking, nice guy, and he has all the political discipline of his uncle (the late U.S. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy). He's humble ... and he wants to serve.”

Comwades, if Joe III doesn't wun, then at weast we now have the ingwedients to build the perfect Kennedy owselves!

Would not his close friend, Biggus Dickus, make a suitable replacement?

Barney deserves full credit for starting the "Bare Butts Up for Bari" movement in Congress.

Colonel says you've seen one, you've seen..Shut up now Colonel or it will be Major.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Comwades, if Joe III doesn't wun, then at weast we now have the ingwedients to build the perfect Kennedy owselves!

Weewee? A wheel wive Kennedy? Can he do the bwest stwoke? Does he have a cween dwiving wecord? Is he allwergic to lead bollwits? Can he dwink copious amounts of booze?Can he give Bonnie a weech awownd?

Comwhads, No need to weep over Bonnie Fwank's Weetirement, Boonie is going to Cabaret in Was Vegas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QbNGnv ... r_embedded#!

and then some TV too.

Castrate wrote:Actually I think Bwaney is going to occupy Freddies Fannie

I denounce you for causing me to incur additional laundry bills.

Report to the Rancho tomorrow. I shall flog you within an inch of your life and then impale you.

Just who gave you the permission to say things like this? No one, that's who. No one, that's who.

Er, pardon me but if no one is who doesn't that mean that we don't even have to bother to register voters?

After your submission to the Greater Good (as I define it, but then I'm a Made Prog) I shall then gift you--yes, using a noun offensively as a verb--with the Jiffy-Lobo-Turbo Treatment.

After the JLTT you can listen to Nanski and actually think that she's not just some reject from Disney's Animatronics morphed with some Orc. You can listen to Harry Reid without noticing that his voice could chase a vampire out of its coffin.

So. In deference to the indignities you caused me, I order you to report!

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:

Castrate wrote:Actually I think Bwaney is going to occupy Freddies Fannie

I denounce you for causing me to incur additional laundry bills.

Report to the Rancho tomorrow. I shall flog you within an inch of your life and then impale you.

Just who gave you the permission to say things like this? No one, that's who. No one, that's who.

Er, pardon me but if no one is who doesn't that mean that we don't even have to bother to register voters?

After your submission to the Greater Good (as I define it, but then I'm a Made Prog) I shall then gift you--yes, using a noun offensively as a verb--with the Jiffy-Lobo-Turbo Treatment.

After the JLTT you can listen to Nanski and actually think that she's not just some reject from Disney's Animatronics morphed with some Orc. You can listen to Harry Reid without noticing that his voice could chase a vampire out of its coffin.

So. In deference to the indignities you caused me, I order you to report!

Ummm eerrrr You have already infwicted enough punishment on me awready.

Besides my waundry issue I also lost my wunch and dinner and bweakfast due to this photo you posted.


How dare you desecrate the "Banking Queen".

Oh. My. God. I played this with Bruno in the room and he shrieked, "Abba!" And so it's been the pitter pat of Bruno's size 14 mules all over the Rancho as he sings "Banking Queen."

Still, I notice that Bonnie cannot move his upper lip. Because the Banking Queen ought to have a prolapsed lip.

You mean Bruno has finally learned to say " short A " sounds ?

Very good. I was under the impression that the bulk of his vocabulary consisted either that ear-splitting shriek, or a strange guttural, gurgling noise. Both can be quite unnerving, especially when you hear them coming from the recesses of a darkened cavern.

‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›


That for you, Bwaney!


And you too, Doddsky!


‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›
‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›
‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›


And you too, Corzine!


‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›
‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›
‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›

I always mistake Barney for the Villain in my favorite Sci-Fi flick:

Bronnie's TV whatings reel ve astooromical!


Runder rut ve wrinner grets?

Ah... The Legacy of Barney Frank !

Bonnie Fwank is going out with a bang though, and STFU. He has just remembered that he was the one who raised the alarm about toxic mortgages--when he was one of the two responsible for them in the first place, and then he got to write the bill which punished the lenders which he'd traduced...

Pardon me. I just had to go change underwear. That's a noon-time wet dream for a prog.

TMI, Theo ............. TMI.

Dig4Utopia,

This image you have presented truly frightens me. Truly!

Owha Hewo, Comwad Bonnie Fwank-
[attachment=0]bonnie_fwank.jpg[/attachment]

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]
What is dumbfounding is how such a nasty little hare-lip made it so far.

Comrade Scratchy,

Some say it was the tongue piercing and that cute little ball thingie that opened all the doors (and caused the lisp), but I digress.

Dig4Utopia wrote:Bronnie's TV whatings reel ve astooromical!


Runder rut ve wrinner grets?

A-Ten Hut!

Private Udopia,

Holy Mary Mother of Jesus, what the $@!& is that?

I thought I told you maggots not to put your porno pinups in my barracks? I might even look the other way if it was Raquel Welsh or at least Marcia Brady.

We all know about J. Edgar Hoover and his escapades, but we look the other way since he hates Communists.

But this commie you losers stroke it to has got to be misfortune of nature, a genetic defect, or at least an unsuccesful abortion.

And you Castrated and Father Prog Theocritter, you sick puppies are not far behind Udopia on the creepy scale.

And Father Prog Theocritter, I thought last time I told you need a shave and a haircut, stop looking like a sailor and get with the program son. Next time I see you you better be prepared to show me your war face.

Do all you ladies understand me?


Arggggghhhhh

Oooooof!Dig4Utopia!I think I fainted from the smell! Last thing I heard was the doctor: "Nurse, NURSE! Get me the pediatric speculum swab soaked in vodka! STAT!You know where to shove it! That nasty hairy orifice! Quickly!

I don't usually agree with Sgt. NeoTroll since I think he's nothing but a tool of the military industrial complex and a loud-mouthed schnook to boot, but in this case I must begrudgingly concur: That picture is extremely revolting.

I want to see some pictures of hot commie hunks, and instead you comrades give me--ulp--oh cripes, not again. Sarge, give me your hat unless you want me to puke on your freshly polished boots instead.

When things get ugly Comrades, it's time to change the subject!

An anonymous friend of mine gave me these engrossing topics just for this sort of occasion:

Amoral Atheist Assholes.

Enlightened Gas-Filled Yogis.

Kind-Hearted Nazis.

Open-Minded Empty-Headed Hippy Scum.

Loose-Skin Disease-Crusted Swingers.

Self-Righteous Relativists.

Hot Nude Feminists.

Lifestyles of the Rich & Socialist.

History's Mysteries: The Birth Certificate.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Comrade Dig's picture of Barney Frank just scrolled past my screen and now my dog's scratching at the door.....while gagging and whining ..... now barking.........

Apparently, she's trying to get out of the same room as that " image ".

Even animals have the innate sense to know there's something about him that's just not right.

Jíbaro wrote:I always mistake Barney for the Villain in my favorite Sci-Fi flick:

Private ... get that soldier to the medics NOW.

Either he has been enjoying the smell of Napalm in the morning too much, or been dipping in the Gook nookie ™ without adequate armour, either of those things will kill you fast.

This is not what the Marines Corp considers as an Honorable Discharge.

Geeesh. If Wreealwity TV isn't your thewing.

How about Bwarney doing some Winter Solstwice Festivities Spwecials?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJOP2uF ... r_embedded#!

Brava! Brava! Brava!

Why is it that the names 'FANNIE MAY' and 'FREDDIE MAC' sound like some dirty bedtime game ?

You comrades have been fetching up your tripes over the picture of Bonnie Fwank's belly but have you seen him in fish-net stockings when he's a contestant in RuPaul's Drag Race?Here's Bonnie Fwank out of House drag and in Drag House drag.
And he's a master of disguises. Here he is with his old hustler boyfriend--a reunion--one one of their "clients" for their Georgetown call-boy service.

By the way, Bonnie's nickname while a freshman at Harvard was Stacy.

Still, compare this to the poster child for Wikipedia, begging for money: All of these make you want to burn every bed on earth, and bear in mind, I have Bruno!

Sgt. NeoTroll wrote:

Dig4Utopia wrote:Bronnie's TV whatings reel ve astooromical!


Runder rut ve wrinner grets?

A-Ten Hut!

Private Udopia,

Holy Mary Mother of Jesus, what the $@!& is that?

I thought I told you maggots not to put your porno pinups in my barracks? I might even look the other way if it was Raquel Welsh or at least Marcia Brady.

We all know about J. Edgar Hoover and his escapades, but we look the other way since he hates Communists.

But this commie you losers stroke it to has got to be misfortune of nature, a genetic defect, or at least an unsuccesful abortion.

And you Castrated and Father Prog Theocritter, you sick puppies are not far behind Udopia on the creepy scale.

And Father Prog Theocritter, I thought last time I told you need a shave and a haircut, stop looking like a sailor and get with the program son. Next time I see you you better be prepared to show me your war face.

Do all you ladies understand me?


Arggggghhhhh

Here here Sarge.

I'm sure that being trapped in your own time warp keeps you from up to date scientific knowledge.

Do you know the reason for your homophobia?

https://atheism.about.com/b/2011/01/19/ ... lity-2.htm

In fact as a public service from the cowective, we are sending Boonie Fwank and Liberace and Bruno to initiate you properly. Yes Sarge, they are coming to get you!

Hehehehehehe Pleasant Dreams!

Holy holy moly! That hole is mighty frightening!However, while observing it, I suddenly realized a very important thing!Bonny is a marsupial!This explains the depth of field observed, and considered, in order to make one o' them damned consensuses! I'll take 100-to-1 bets that nasty camel spiders, larvae, other icky stuff resides there! Hell, there could be a regular JUNGLE in there!It's time to circle the wagons Comrades! AGAIN!Edit: Shoulda said, Mole, instead of moly! In the spirit of "diversity" and mole lovers everywhere!

Pamalinski, you're right. He is a marsupial. He has a pouch that he used to steal away a good chunk of the world's wealth.

And let's examine the mole bit. Mole in Spanish, which means sauce. Just what sort of mole is in Bonnie Fwank's pouch?

NeoTroll, let me extend to you a personal invitation to the Rancho. I have given one to so many other comrades and have just built a new wing. It's lovely. Special HVAC, and it's of course downwind of the main part of the house.

You need not bring more than one change of clothes but by all means for safekeeping write down the account names and passwords for your on-line banking accounts.

[/b]

Nice re-model, Theo ! And the Caddie looks great.
Very equal.... if fact it looks more than equal.


( Note: Only Barney Frank could inspire a thread like this ! Wow, what a class act. )

Now that Bonny's gonna have a wittle more time on his hands, perhaps he should write his memoirs. May I suggest he use the above as his cover shot with the title: Me and My Camel Toe, An Exposé!

Bonnie's camel toe is an item that should never have " Exposé "

To all of my sic comrades,Having just returned from a most stressful mission, I rushed to check in with the Politburo, and what do I find? The whole of the collective tearing to shreds one of the truly finest, most influential representatives of our regime, a true hero of the People ™ Congressman Barney Frank! Have you nothing better to do thaN to rip on poor Bwarny about his much publicized amorous behavior? Are any of you morally superior in your dubious sexual behaviors, eg: consorting with all manner of vegetables, toasters, etc? Why I cannot believe that any of you selfish, moralizing bigotted, RACIST, homophobes would stoop to treat our "Lion of the House" in such a treacherous, backstabbing matter! I DENOUNCE ALL OF YOU!!(NOW THAT SHOULD SATISFY MY QUOTA FOR AWHILE,HEHEHEH!)And FYI, Bwarney has most graciously decided to concentrate his innumerable skills on the incredibly important issue of legalized online gaming! Think of the revenues that will pour into our coffers, comrades. Bwarny will go down (no pun intended) as one of the most remarkable legislators of our time, and all of you should hang your heads in shame and head for the nearest JifiLobo ™ to cleanse yourselves of these filthy images that are keeping you from grasping the proper Current Truth!

Aw, come on, Che Gourmet, Bonny is TOAST! You know that, I know that, and you also know, WE EAT OUR OWN!

Please pass the honey! Ummmm! Delicious!

Pamalinsky wrote:Aw, come on, Che Gourmet, Bonny is TOAST! You know that, I know that, and you also know, WE EAT OUR OWN!

Please pass the honey! Ummmm! Delicious!

Like I say "Bee sweet, eat your honey".

Yes, we eat our own. As soon as we feel that one of us is weaker, we move it to the outside of the herd so that the hyenas and lions can get to it.

After all, the brutal game of the bloodlust for power does not admit of tender feelings and niceties. When it's a game for utter power and control, nothing else matters.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote: When it's a game for utter power and control, nothing else matters.

Well spoken, Comrade FPT. Or is it " well written "? No matter.

When push comes to shove, a Tiger can give a very nice edge.

PS, Looks like the "west wing" is ready for holiday guests.

At long last, comrades, I have proof that Nature is listening to a Made Prog. For all these years we have had fellow travelers insisting that hydrocarbon fuels can be replaced by renewable sources--and this is utterly true of course, as long as we can get the wind to blow 24/7 or the sun to shine 24/7 and there not be a cloud.

Which does not seem impossible for a truly Made Prog to effect.

Texas has been in a drought; I put my mind to remedying it and thought how unfair it was to me to have this drought.

So last night it started raining and snowing and the same this morning. Ah ha! I have modified my superheterodyne, phased-antenna-array tin-foil hat to control the weather. It works a charm.

At long last we have the Prog idea: the true pathetic fallacy. Nature does listen to me, because I am Father Prog Theocritus. Not because of any intrinsic virtue or talent or ability; nothing special about me except my gimlet-eyed demand for control and my true prog viciousness and disregard of others' opinions, which must be overcome so that my opinions can be shoved down their throats. I'm as damned dumb as Diane Sawyer and look how well she's done. Why, her network might be watched by at least a thousand people.

Tomorrow I may want to sleep late and so if the sun rises 30 minutes later, do not worry.

I've decided to go atheist. Why? Because there can't possibly be a G-d when this guy has bigger boobs than I do:

https://hotair.com/archives/2011/12/19/ ... -out-clip/

Say it isn't so!

It's twoo. But Bonnie does NOT have Pinkie's best fweachuh - her shovoh!!

That's gynocomastia, I believe. Perhaps Bonnie uses the bottle a lot; decreased liver function can cut down on testosterone and cause it. But then perhaps Bonnie wanted them and saw this:

https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/how ... rowth.html

Now there's a landmen here, half Bonnie's age, with greasy, thrown-back black hair, who wears flip-flops with prehensile toes so long that they touch the floor over the FRONT of his shoes, and he has back boobs. And he's not really that fat.

Figure that one out.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I've decided to go atheist. Why? Because there can't possibly be a G-d when this guy has bigger boobs than I do:

As always, Pinkie is right, no Comradette I've met can do things like this until after the 3rd bottle:

https://www.jigglystuff.com/display.php?id=990

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:That's gynocomastia, I believe. Perhaps Bonnie uses the bottle a lot; decreased liver function can cut down on testosterone and cause it.

So that's it. Since I'm already naturally low on testosterone, all I have to do is continually drink the Collective under the table and I'll have big bouncing bazoombas that'll be yours for the groping. If, of course, you don't mind getting whacked upside the head with my shovel for it.

I keep getting whacked upside the head, and I STILL seem to be missing out on something...

Tovarichi, I have for some years now been trying to get Pinkie to change my luck but she refuses. I don't know why not: with our prog cred, which is like street cred except for snooty lefties like me, we might even make The Prog That Will Come. I had tried to make the Prog That Will Come when I introduced Jodin Morey and Janeane Gawdawfulho. At the Rancho. I even had the Hildebeest as the inseminator. But no, no Prog that Will Come.

We are looking for our Messiah. I had thought that it would be Barry O, but, and this is between us, he's as dumb as a bag of hammers and he's skinny because he can't eat because George Soros' hand is up his ass to the shoulder. Except of course for the assets that Soros bought from MF Global's ruin. And for the investments in offshore drilling we are paying for but in South America.

We need our anti-Ronald Reagan. I'd hoped for Edwards but his complete and utter mindless bastard proggery couldn't be hushed up, despite the Quality Media's best tries. Lord O is as I say a hopeless idiot. Biden's hair plugs were planted too deep; it's just nice that there is medicine to control the twitching left by one implantation right through the skull.

Ah. Who will save us from the quagmire of having to fend for ourselves? Who will save us from having to view ourselves as we are? Who will save us from the hell of personal responsibility?

I call on The Prog That Will Come. Come, Prog, Come to AmeriKKKa, and save us from personal responsibility.

So that we can assign it all as we want, and so we can get diamond-cutter wood at having that unaccountable power to entirely without base or cause or reason change others' lives.

Just to show we can. Do you get it? We do it just to show we can.

Ah. That was a good one. Time for a cigarette.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote: Just to show we can. Do you get it? We do it just to show we can.

Ah. That was a good one. Time for a cigarette.

For crying out loud, Theocritus, why didn't you say so before? Between us we could have produced a dozen progeny by now.

Because we can. Just to show we can.

Why else did we raise a big stink for years to get Shannon Faulkner admitted into the all-male Citadel, only to forget about her once she was in and faced so many problems that she dropped out after only a week? So what if she did? The important thing is we shoe-horned a female into a previously all-male institution simply to show the world we could do it!

For that matter, why else did we elect Obama as our leader, despite the fact he has no experience at anything, and we know nothing about his background but don't care about all that? We did it to show we can get a black dude in the White House, and to anyone who has a problem with that, we just call them racist! Because we can!

Why, that was even one of his slogans! YES, WE CAN!

Why? Because we can! And we're going to do it to show we can!

Theo, A Truly thoughtful and politically timely sermonette, however;

What does that have to do with Pinkie's beautiful.... umm..... shovel?

Oh. Is this code for her babushka?

Is Babushka PLURAL?

Honestly, Tovarichi. Why don't you save yourself the trouble by tattooing the words "PINKIE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE WHACK ME WITH YOUR SHOVEL" in neon ink on your forehead?

You want me to do it just to get attention from me, don't you? Admit it, Tovarichi. You have a big crush on me. You want to ask me out on a date, but you don't have the nerve because you're afraid if you do, I'll hit you with my shovel.

You have no fear of doing anything else to get shovel-whacked; you've made that quite clear in recent weeks. So why do you fear asking me out?

Or maybe you're afraid I'll say yes, and then what? You don't know, do you, because you've never had a date before.

Once again, Tovarichi, it's time for another round of "Lady or the Tiger!"

Oh dear, Tovarichi, "Lady and the Tiger"? Do you know what happened to the last poor sucker who played that game with Pinkie?

Let's just say that he had, for a quarter second, a deep and personal understanding of Trotsky's ice-ax. You know, the one that ended his life in Mexico City.

And pretend you do have a crush on Pinkie. Really. It's just easier. I mean, when you have her after you, all the hounds of hell would look like teacup poodles. My lord, when she gets out her shovel, the special one from the Grainger catalogue, and when she's, uh, a bit shopworn from the ingestion of Pukinka vodka, is is NOT a good idea to attract her attention.

I swear, once at the Rancho she gave our Many Titted Empress a mean tip. Or many. Do this, keeps her off her feet. Do that. He'll worry about being emasculated. All breathlessly useful, if you're really really mean and I took care to be sure that I was still sober enough to take this master class in proggery.

So do not cock a snook at Pinkie. It hurts.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote: So do not cock a snook at Pinkie. It hurts.

But it doesn't hurt half as much if I snook a cock in retaliation.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Honestly, Tovarichi. Why don't you save yourself the trouble by tattooing the words "PINKIE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE WHACK ME WITH YOUR SHOVEL" in neon ink on your forehead?

You want me to do it just to get attention from me, don't you? Admit it, Tovarichi. You have a big crush on me. You want to ask me out on a date, but you don't have the nerve because you're afraid if you do, I'll hit you with my shovel.

You have no fear of doing anything else to get shovel-whacked; you've made that quite clear in recent weeks. So why do you fear asking me out?

Or maybe you're afraid I'll say yes, and then what? You don't know, do you, because you've never had a date before.

Once again, Tovarichi, it's time for another round of "Lady or the Tiger!"

Dearest Pinkie, you make me laugh... the "neon ink" is new scar tissue, and you are the calligrapher!

I believe that just like two schoolchildren punching each other in the arm to show that one likes the other, you wallop me because it is YOU who likes ME! In reality, I'm playing hard to get, teasing you along, and you just keep after me!

Possibly you are afraid that if we danced too closely, my medals would poke you in the "big bouncing bazoombas" you keep and maintain? Don't fear, I keep them polished smooth, just to prevent such injuries. Pinkie dearest, I'm not afraid to ask you out. Like Dear Leader says.."call me.."

Since i know that Pinkie is a LADY at all times, and just takes a swing at me to keep me interested, I'll choose the Lady, and shoot the tiger. (It's just another cat...)

Now that was GOOD, Tovarichi! Brilliant, in fact! I am in awe! What a mensch! Very impressive!


We all know that Pinkie's whacks are her expression of love. She imbues them with wit to, well, help them "sink in". I know this for a fact Tovi, because I, too, have been whacked by Pinkie. Yes, it's true.


Perhaps you should re-familiarize yourself with Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew. Probably not necessary though, because I think you've got it down!


Nice work, Tovi! You da man!

Tovarichi wrote: Since i know that Pinkie is a LADY at all times, and just takes a swing at me to keep me interested, I'll choose the Lady, and shoot the tiger. (It's just another cat...)

First you shoot a kitten--no, let me backtrack . . .

First you get a gun! Then you use it to shoot a kitten! And now you shoot a tiger? Just to get whacked by my shovel?

No wonder you can't get a date. NO woman wants to go out with someone like you! Well, except for maybe Pamalinsky, unless she's just leading you on, playing the spider to your pesky poop-eating, poop-loving fly.

I can see it now. Tovarichi trapped in Pamalinsky's web, screeching, "Help me . . . help meee-eeee!"

And maybe then, just maybe, I will apply the shovel.

Lady or the Spider, Tovarichi?

Wow, just WOW Pinkie! I love the way you hone the edge of the sword. And I am so ashamed. I was taken in by Tovarici, yet another "lady's man". Just so you know, I have no web to offer him. He is defenseless! And, I am stupid. You have taught me something new today.In fairness though, he didn't actually shoot the kitten. But, he WAS willing to shoot the tiger! (I love kitties and doggies and horsies, etc.)

Tovarichi wrote: Possibly you are afraid that if we danced too closely, my medals would poke you in the "big bouncing bazoombas" you keep and maintain? Don't fear, I keep them polished smooth, just to prevent such injuries.

Tovarichi. What, exactly, do you think you're doing polishing Pinkie's bazoombas??? I thinking polishing her shovel would be much more appropriate, don't you?