Comrades,

it is with great pleasure that I announce that the promised Death Panels™ have finally arrived. To apply for membership simply place an unaddressed envelope in the nearest post box. Many of you have already been selected for voluntary membership. Participation is mandatory under penalty of being listed, but due to budget concerns members will not receive confirmation letters.

Reuters has a story on this big news:

https://www.reuters.com/article/2011/10 ... 5C20111005

It's about time! I find I am always much more efficient when I work off a list.

Um... ermmm...

Not to put too fine a point on it but what would being on this list do for me? Am I signing up 'to do' or to 'have done to'? I think that would make a big difference in how quickly I complete the application form...

just sayin'

Here in Oregon, the Soviet Union of the West, we are advanced far beyond needing Death Panels.

In Oregon, your opportunities to become deceased are vastly enhanced by the routine use of DOPE under the guise of Oregon Pain Management. Find yourself in the Emergency Room, and before you know it, they have the IV in your arm and it's *Lights Out* for you.

And if this should somehow accelerate or CAUSE your death, the Oregon Pain Management law says that's OK.

Oregonized Crime. Come to Oregon and see how Communism works.

I will be pleased to serve the collective, as always comrades!

Comrades,

That's just fantastic. It always comes to this; more work for the good Dr. Chicago. Do I get extra staff? No! Do I receive extra rations? No! Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone into another line of work. Something a little less stressful like President of the United States.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

To the good Dr. of the Windy City......

Have you ever given thought to starting up a mobile Jiffy-Lobo clinic ?

You know.... group specials, house calls and custom jobs ?

With ever increasing frequency, the proles out there are questioning Dear Leader's regime ... .... um......administration. Your services would, to be sure, more than compensated for by The Directorate.

Perhaps a dasha up in Wisconsin.

Or even some of Red Square's Putinka stash....

This is so very exciting, is it not??!! How many people can we officially nominate at one time?? I of course, would post George Bushitler's name and that pesky ole Chenny.
Is there a limit or can we just keep nominating?? When will executions take place?? Can we bring snacks or will beets be provided?

darski wrote:Um... ermmm...

Not to put too fine a point on it but what would being on this list do for me? Am I signing up 'to do' or to 'have done to'? I think that would make a big difference in how quickly I complete the application form...

just sayin'

You needn't worry, Com. Darski.

As you may not recall, you were implanted with a Complete Circles of Life™ BioChip™ which will remotely allow us to enroll you as a Necroproxy at the precise time it best serves the needs of the party with the ruthless efficiency only a modern, progressive bureaucracy can provide.

While your application form is merely prefunctory; however, perceived delays in your submission will be duly noted.