The Girlish Joy of CHE Spotting!

Comrades, meet Kelly and Jen, two wholesome, fresh-faced all-American girls who went to Cuba and fell in love with Che Guevara — or as they themselves put it:

Quote:

We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not Communists.

We are just two girls who went to Cuba and fell in love with Che. This is our story.



Kelly and Che



Jen and Che

Click, read, and follow their amazing journey of discovery and enlightenment! As you witness the thrill of impressionable young hearts and minds opening to the light of Che that still shines brightly more than forty years on, you too will find yourself falling in love with the image . . . the likeness . . . yea, the very idea . . . of Che.

http://www.chespotting.com/story/

Quote:

We were both working on our graduate degrees when each one of us came across a flyer advertising an educational exchange in Cuba. The exchange would count as elective credits toward our respective degrees. We each signed up for the exchange on our own. A few months later, we were in Cuba.

Once there, we set off exploring Havana together. The Cuban government has populated the island with images of their revolutionary heroes—the most popular is clearly Che. Soon we were spotting him at every turn. Snapping photos and posing with his image became our favorite pastime.
. . .
We are travel junkies. Between the two of us, we’ve set foot in 32 countries so far.

In nearly every one of those, we have spotted Che. When we do, we take a picture.

We are amassing an impressive collection of these photos because, as it turns out, Che gets around . . . He is everywhere and we are fascinated.

So what do Kelly and Jen do with all these pictures of Che? Why, they started Chespotting, a website dedicated to the gloriously giddy and Progressive pastime of—what else?--Chespotting—snapping pictures of Che’s image wherever they find it, and posting it on the website.

From the FAQ:

Quote:

The goal of Che Spotting is to raise awareness of Che’s graphic image and to have fun recognizing all the ways that people are using it around the world.

And what could be more Progressive than raising awareness? Because not everyone may be aware of Che’s iconic image—and without awareness, how can anyone care enough to become even more aware of how important it is raise awareness about the need to care?

But if you think these girls are just a couple of teenyboppers pining after some unattainable pop idol, rest assured Kelly and Jen have looked deep into the warmth of Che’s puppy brown eyes to behold the noble soul of a brooding, tortured hero who courageously sacrificed all to bring Che-ange to the masses.

In this interview, Kelly shows she understands just how sweet and sensitive Che was:

Quote:

I think that Che symbolizes change, or “Che-ange.” There was a Robin Hood mentality behind a lot of what Che wanted to do. He saw political, economic and social systems that he thought were crooked and unjust. He wanted to bust up the strongholds of the privileged elite and redistribute wealth, education and healthcare among the masses. What’s not to admire about that? There are movements to do these same things going on inside the United States right now.
. . .
His rugged good looks? I’ve read articles that have tried to analyze this. They say it’s because [in the iconic Alberto Korda photo] he’s looking up, that this is a sign of hope and optimism that appeals to people.

Finally, I believe that in that same interview, Jen has eloquently and concisely expressed all it takes to become a true Progressive:

Quote:

You can be illiterate and still recognize Che.
 

Comrade Pinkie, that is true, one can be illiterate and still recognize Che. In fact the schools should only teach pictures of famous progressives and of progressive ideals. Words are not needed by the proles.
 

Commissarka,

This is a timeless and dare I say, heartwarming story. **sniff** These young women have discovered and celebrated what we have know for years. The memory of Che will live forever in these two budding revolutionaries.

Long live, Che!
 

I gotta say, I love the first couple lines of Our Story:
We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not Communists.
We are just two girls who went to Cuba and fell in love with Che. This is our story.

No... they're not Communists... they don't actually know what Communism is...

KELLY: "That is SO not true... I asked Mr. Baxter what it was after Civics class last Friday and he said it's where everybody has to share everything and nothing belongs to you... So, like, there's no way I'm a Communist cause then I'd have to share my favourite lip gloss with that skank, Sandy."....
JEN: "What did you have to share with Mr. Baxter to get him to answer your question?... You were in there for, like, ever! And I know you've been crushing on him ever since you snuck a look at his iPod and saw his playlists."....
KELLY: "That is so, like, not true! You're such a slitch! Besides, he said he liked the way my lip gloss tasted... tee hee..."

Okay... so having established that there's no way they're Communists, Kelly and Jen continue to enlighten us:

KELLY: "Tee hee... So... Hi... I'm, like, Kelly... teeheehee" (headbob)...
JEN: "and I'm Jen... teeheehee" (headbob and twists fingers and arms in front of her)...
TOGETHER: "And WE'RE IN LOVE WITH CHE!!!" (Screaming and jumping up and down)....
KELLY: "He's so hunky and scruffy, but in an intelligent way"...
JEN: "Yeah... in an intelligent way... Like Robert Pattinson!"
KELLY: "But better than Robert Pattinson cause he, like, stands for something... "
JEN: "Robert Pattinson stands for something!... he's not just an actor... he's a musician too!..."
KELLY: "Yeah... okay... but I like Taylor Lautner better.... but not as much as CHE... You can just see it in his eyes!"...
JEN: "Yeah... in his eyes!"...
KELLY: "...And his kindness!"...
JEN: "Yeah... Like Robert Pattinson!"...
KELLY: "No way... he's way kinder than Robert Pattinson!"...
JEN: "Like... what-ev-eer!..."...
KELLY: "What-ev-eer... And his compassion!"...
JEN: "Yeah... his compassion... And his big gun!"...
KELLY: "Last year I really had a thing for Nicky Sarkozy, but Che... CHE!"....
JEN: "Nicky Who!? He's that guy that Kat Von D was dating, yeah?"
KELLY: "No, gawd Jen! That was Nikki Sixx from Mötley Crüe... Nicky Sarkozy!!!... but then he married that skanky model"...
JEN: "Nicky WHO?! What band is he in?"
KELLY: "He's not in a band! He's a French King or Prince or something."....
JEN: "OH!... like Prince Harry and Wills! They are soooo gorgeous!"
KELLY: "I know.... but not as gorgeous as....."
TOGETHER: "CHEEEEEE!!!!".......
KELLY: "Do you think we could meet him next time we go back to Cuba!... I bet he's got body guards and, like, TMZ would never get near him..."
JEN: "Never... but we met a lot of really cool Cuban girls and maybe they'd Tweet us and let us know where we could find him... I wonder why Perez never talks about him? But we'll track him down! We waited for three days in the rain to see Robert Pattinson at the Apple Store in New York... we had to run away and we both got grounded for, like, a month"...
KELLY: "Yeah... but Dad let us go out again after a couple days cause of that really really bad headache he had"...
JEN: "Yeah... he was pretty cool about it."...
KELLY: "So anyway... We're going to save every dime we can and go back to Cuba as soon as summer break starts...Plus (whispering) I got Dad's Visa number so we can get the tickets online"...
JEN: "(whispering) Yeah.... online"...
KELLY: "And I know the PIN for his bank card so we don't have to worry about cash"...
JEN: "Yeah... we don't have to worry about cash."...
KELLY: "And then we'll go back to Cuba."....
JEN: "Yeah... back to Cuba, and those girls said that if we had cash they could show us where Che is, cause he, like, hides out in a big mansion way far from Havana with his posse, so we have to take a cab."...
KELLY: "But we're gonna find him!"....
JEN: "And then we'll both show him our..."...
KELLY: "JEN!!! You are such a skanky slitch!!!"...
JEN: "Well it worked for Robert Pattinson."...
KELLY: "That's true... We got him to BITE US!!!"...
JEN: "Yeah! To BITE US!!!"...
KELLY: "OH! I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HIM!!!"....
JEN: "YEAH! TO MEET HIM!!! Do you think Che would BITE US TOO?!?!"....
KELLY: "TOTALLY... cause he's CHEEEEE!!!.....:
TOGETHER (screaming, jumping up and down and crying) "WE LOVE YOU CHE! EEEEEEeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

And so ends "Today's Adventures of Kelly and Jen"... I'm sure we'll be hearing more from them about their adventures in the Big Wide Confusing World soon... especially as Robert Pattinson is currently in Cannes promoting his new movie Little Ashes, in which he plays a young Salvador Dalí, during his summer love affair with poet Federico Garcia Lorca, played by Javier Beltrán...
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Quote:

His rugged good looks? I’ve read articles that have tried to analyze this. They say it’s because [in the iconic Alberto Korda photo] he’s looking up, that this is a sign of hope and optimism that appeals to people.

Rugged good looks? Personally, I've always thought that geek Ernie Guevara looked like the "missing link" in human evolution; part monkey, part human. And his "looking up?" It's a modified Alexander the Great pose. Obama does it really good. The only thing is, Alexander the Great always had that "looking up" pose that he is so famous for because he was a terminal alcoholic and was always either guzzling down wine or taking a leak. The wine was always pouring in or pissing out. Often, he was doing both at the same time. As every man knows, when you take a leak you unthinkingly strike that same pose - the looking up at an angle while-you-pee-pose. They weren't going to chisel a statue of the Alexander guzzling down wine so the poor sculptor had to chisel a statue of Alexander taking a leak. Look at the Korda photo. Tell me that ape looking knucklehead Ernie Guevara isn't taking a leak while he's being photographed. I've struck that same pose at least a million times in my life. That's a sign of hope and optimism? Nope. Just another fat-head communist pig taking a pee. He had all the brains and intelligence of Joe Biden so he was probably peeing on his own shoes too.
 

I can't wait for a website called Osama spotting: "We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not Islamic radicals. We are just two girls who went to Pakistan and fell in love with Osama bin Laden. This is our story."

Or how about Fuehrer spotting? "We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not Nazis. We are just two girls who went to the Third Reich and fell in love with Adolf Hitler. This is our story."

Or kool-aid spotting: "We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not cultists. We are just two girls who went to Jonestown's People's Church and drank the kool-aid. This is our story."
 

I could not resist leaving a comment.

Quote:

Kelly and Jen,
I so much admire your ability to look beyond the brutally, suffering and death that Che and his ideology has inflicted on the people he claimed to be helping, and simply admire the man for his “rugged good looks”. It shows some very advanced progressive thinking. Also, I noticed you linked to The Che Store so I thought perhaps you’d find Che-Mart.com and CheHeartPlus equally stimulating.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Posted by
Maksim
May 23, 2009, 2:01 pm
 

Red Square

I can't wait for a website called Osama spotting: "We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not Islamic radicals. We are just two girls who went to Pakistan and fell in love with Osama bin Laden. This is our story."

Or how about Fuehrer spotting? "We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not Nazis. We are just two girls who went to the Third Reich and fell in love with Adolf Hitler. This is our story."

Or kool-aid spotting: "We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not cultists. We are just two girls who went to Jonestown's People's Church and drank the kool-aid. This is our story."

(clapping) (laughing) (and off)
Bravo Red Square, this is brilliant! I especially love the "Osama spotting" one.

By the way, did they manage to visit the local Che-Mart down there? I here they have the same amount of stuff as any other Che-Mart, but to say " I visited the Che-Mart in Havanna, Cuba, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is something everyone has.
 

$.$. Halliburton

And his "looking up?" It's a modified Alexander the Great pose. Obama does it really good. The only thing is, Alexander the Great always had that "looking up" pose that he is so famous for because he was a terminal alcoholic and was always either guzzling down wine or taking a leak.

I almost fell off my chair laughing. That explains Obama's dreamy look at the ceiling too. Always the detached upward look, as if he is mentally pissing into the audience and thinks it's part of his job.

In fact, I just remembered I made this picture back during the elections:


 

check this out. a useful idiot 10th grade world history teacher from california (no suprise) is using this site to spread the ideals and re-educate/indoctrinate teach The Children(tm) about Comrade Che, without worrying about those pesky historical details.

Lesson Plan for Che Guevara

"A 10th grade world history teacher at a high school in California gave his students an online assignment involving Che Spotting.

The students had just finished a unit on Latin America during the cold war. As part of that unit, they had been introduced indoctrinated to Che Guevara."

Lesson Plan for Che Guevara

"Then he posed this assignment:

In one paragraph, discuss your opinions about the interview and the pictures: what do you think about these ideas and the website? What did you find interesting about the picture you chose? Does a site like this help to spread Che’s ideas? Is this site a way to spread his image and popularity without worrying about historical details? Or are the creators of this site just having fun? Explain!"

Lesson Plan for Che Guevara

"When we created the site, it hadn’t occurred to us that high school students would be picking apart Che Spotting for a grade. Yet the idea did make us smile — and not just because our daily hits went up.

We like the idea of a lesson plan that gets students online and asks them to evaluate content they find there. It’s a skill that needs to be taught.
"



http://www.chespotting.com/lesson-plan-for-che-guevara/
 

{off} *twitch* *gak* *urk* *blekk* I think this nation is doomed....
 

Well, one Che-spotting place may soon lose its Che. Namely, the entrance to New York's Central Park.

‘Che’ Statue Draws Demand for Central Park Removal

Bloomberg News

Che Guevara’s likeness shouldn’t stand at an entrance to New York’s Central Park, say 10 Republican U.S. lawmakers who urged Mayor Michael Bloomberg to immediately remove the artwork they say honors the Marxist revolutionary.

The bronze sculpture by German artist Christian Jankowski has been at the Fifth Avenue and 60th Street entrance since November and is scheduled to come down May 27, said Gabby Fisher, spokeswoman for the Public Art Fund, which sponsored the artwork of which the statue is a part.
 

Good for NYC!

Like Comrade Elliott, I think CheSpotting needs Che*Mart images.
 

Red Square

I can't wait for a website called Osama spotting: "We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not Islamic radicals. We are just two girls who went to Pakistan and fell in love with Osama bin Laden. This is our story."

Or how about Fuehrer spotting? "We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not Nazis. We are just two girls who went to the Third Reich and fell in love with Adolf Hitler. This is our story."

Or kool-aid spotting: "We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not cultists. We are just two girls who went to Jonestown's People's Church and drank the kool-aid. This is our story."

And so ends "Today's Adventures of Kelly and Jen"... I'm sure we'll be hearing more from them about their adventures in the Big Wide Confusing World soon...

Don't worry My Glorious Roseate Hexahedron...
The World is a Big, Wide, and particularly Confusing place... These girls are modern adventurers - in their own words, "travel junkies" who have "set foot in 32 countries so far" and Kelly is bound to start crushing on someone new soon... it seems to be her nature, just as it seems to be Jen's to follow... "Yeah... to follow..." And so I think it won't be long at all until they find themselves with a new man in their lives, whether they know he's dead or alive, and regardless of how many thousands, hundreds of thousands, or even millions of lives he's responsible for taking. After all, do they not represent the penultimate goal of our endeavors here at The Peoples Cube - to take over the world, one mindless drone (or two horny moonbats**) at a time through the cult of personality?... Think of them as the Bill and Ted of our Times... Like, Whoa!!!

And as for the 10th Grade lesson plans shared by red guest?? To think some of my fellow Commissars made fun of me for my nostalgic enthusiasm over finding not only a favourite old Canadian PSA of mine, but an updated and extended version, brought to the Canadian public by the Concerned Children's Advertisers of Canada.



But whether one believes that Chespotting hinders or furthers the cause of The Peoples Cube (and really, that's all we should really care about... that, and whether our shovels are sharp), you do have to admit those are two entertaining moonbats who are going to provide us with many many opportunities to create entertaining programming... for that, I owe them a debt of inspiration. Maybe they need a couple of those Che t's that read "I have no idea who this is"... or better yet, why not send that picture to the teacher who set up the Grade 10 Lesson Plan as it answers all his or her questions in one eloquent image... a picture says a thousand words, double-spaced with 1 inch margins all around, spell-checked and grammar-checked by Thursday morning. No papers will be accepted late without a doctor's note. Please see course guidelines for acceptable forms of footnotes/endnotes and bibliography. If you cite online sources, you must provide an ACTIVE URL in your references, as well as saving the quoted source as a .pdf which includes the URL, in case the page becomes unavailable. This paper will be worth 20% of your grade.

Now get to work!
Sister Massively Opiated - having a high school flashback (except for the internet stuff).

** two horny moonbats, one mindless drone, and a black guy in the whitehouse... on the twelfth day of the revolution, my true love gave to me... twelve rounds of ammo, eleven swigs of vodka, ten crushed twinkies, nine gold teeth, eight linty candies, seven swigs of vodka, six tortured pris'ners, five post-kill kisses, four fresh beets, three swigs of vodka, two horny moonbats, one mindless drone, and a black guy in the white house... I ran out of days, but I also got two slightly squished almond joy bars, four hand grenades, two cans of tear gas, a new pair of boots and two sets of extra laces, a can of stew that we split and ate cold hiding in a basement on day 15, a gas mask that we took off one of the tortured prisoners, though we didn't 'keep' the prisoners... we traded them to "the butcher" for some of "the other white meat" and more ammo, though we stashed the prisoners' bullet proof vests and helmets to trade later... Oh! and some more swigs of vodka before I turned the bottle into a Molotov cocktail. It is now day 20 of the revolution and my true love got taken down by a head shot two days ago... the bastard was holding out on me, cause I found two bottles of Grolsch and a mickey of tequila in his pack, not to mention a box of condoms and an entire box of Oh Henry bars that weren't even dented. I left him stripped down to his underwear, taking all his gear and leaving him for the dogs to eat... so I won't be eating any dogs for a long while. If I'd known before he got his brains blown out, I would have blown my true love's brains out myself... Viva La Revolution!
 

Red Square

Well, one Che-spotting place may soon lose its Che. Namely, the entrance to New York's Central Park.

‘Che’ Statue Draws Demand for Central Park Removal

Bloomberg News

Che Guevara’s likeness shouldn’t stand at an entrance to New York’s Central Park, say 10 Republican U.S. lawmakers who urged Mayor Michael Bloomberg to immediately remove the artwork they say honors the Marxist revolutionary.

The bronze sculpture by German artist Christian Jankowski has been at the Fifth Avenue and 60th Street entrance since November and is scheduled to come down May 27, said Gabby Fisher, spokeswoman for the Public Art Fund, which sponsored the artwork of which the statue is a part.

(off)

*twitch* Why the hell was that statue allowed up in the first place? Anyone and everyone that had it put up (as well as the artist) should be permanently deported to Cuba. If Castro won't take 'em willingly, I'm all for shoving them out of a transport aircraft without parachutes.
 

Phew....

I was worried there for a minute.
Che missed his period and now he's spotting.
Should Che go see his Gynie?
Girls, what do you think?
 

Dear Comrade Commissar Laika, Hero Space Dog, Friend of People...

I believe you once told me, as I sat at the foot of a chair on which your framed picture was propped, gazing in wonder at your proud whiskered muzzle and adjusting my tinfoil hat, that "Life's a bitch and then you get your brains blown out." With that in mind, no pun intended, I believe that Che is just having irregular periods, which would not be out of character given his head wound. He might want to try "Yaz"... I have no idea what the hell it's for because I have no idea what the hell "pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder" is, but it's also used as birth control.. so, given that a head wound could well cause PMDD, I imagine, from the cryptic ads that have been running non-stop on Che-Vision, that it might do the trick... I doubt he'd need it for birth control... a doctor of some sort might want to try plugging up that hole with a tampon, though someone would have to change it for him regularly to keep him from getting toxic shock syndrome, as he's probably got a better than normal chance of getting it seeing as he's already smelling... it would seem like overkill to have him die of both a kill shot to the head AND some sort of sepsis...

BTW... what did you think of the picture of the H&R .17 cal bolt action with the Tasco 3 x 10 scope. As I mentioned, the .17 cal is an ultra-light super high velocity piece of office equipment well suited for long distance work with variable cross-winds. I think it is a useful tool for dealing with office politics in a politely anonymous way... and then we wouldn't have to give a shit about spotting as it would be someone else's problem...

Hero Space Dog, Friend of People, what do you think?
 

Comrade Sister, we really must sit down and discuss what little the .17 HMR good for. That is to say prairie dogs and little else. If you wish something suitable for social work, the venerable 7.62x54r is suitable of course, but many of the .25-.270 calibers with sufficient push behind them make admirable flat shooting rounds for social purposes. Also the more traditional rounds like 7.62 NATO, .30.06, etc...

But anything in .17 is for popping varmints and tin cans, not Class Enemies(TM).
 

Comrade Colonel,

My pardon, but you must understand, I'm just a little old prairie dolphin... and what is there to aim at on the Prairies but prairie dogs... they are the bane of cattle ranchers and so someone must practice their sniper skills on them as it's pretty difficult to get within 500 feet of them - and so in some parts of the world, practicing on prairie dogs IS considered social work... If you would like to practice, the Rosebud Reserve holds a yearly fall by-invitation prairie dog shoot for their 'friends' that helps to preserve not only their cattle herds but their Bison as well... nothing worse than having a poor ruminant step in a hole and break its leg, only to be left to freeze to death in pain or be torn limb from limb by wolves while still alive... and they rely on the income their varous herds bring in.

And so, let me rephrase, as I was sharing a little joke with my friend Laika that I didn't think was wholly appropriate for the Cube, but as you understand my needs...
"The .17 cal is an ultra-light super high velocity well suited for long board tables with variable cross-winds."

Just another day at the office, so to speak...

But my skills have always been those of a sniper though I disappoint my pater with my ongoing disinterest in handguns as I'm told I'm a natural shot... ranges bore me, while I am also plagued with this now broken back of mine, making it difficult for me haul around anything too heavy, and so for work, I opt for my favourite girly rifle... a present from my mentor and previous Pod leader... one of the Aunties who bravely threw herself into the jaws of an Orca as we made out way toward freedom after escaping our Navy pens during the confusion of Katrina, in order to save one of the younger pod members (one day I will finish the post outlining the pod entire that I began to write to you a couple weeks ago - all our various members and their duties therein - as few have ever seen any but myself, Aki, and Chicken Sushi while the rest of the pod stays at the Kanadistanjian Bunker)...

In any case, my favourite girly rifle... my personal rifle of choice, since I don't hunt land mammals for food... is my precious... My Steyr AUG .223... managable for my back and perfect for my purposes... Yes... you are correct... the H&R is good only for rodentia, but my AUG has never let me down and so although it is a bit lightweight because of its 'synth' stock,it serves me well, has a nice synth rubber shoulder pad as I've alsodone a great deal of damage to my shoulder, and does what I need it todo, though I do sometimes wish it were easier to swap out the site -can be done but it's a bit of a pain when I want to switch from thestandard telescopic to my trit nite site in a hurry because it requires a bit of home mod... but then, up here, fully automatic weapons are illegal and so home modifications sometimes include knocking off those retarded little pieces of solder they put on UZI's to keep someone from taking them off semi-automatic... it is really quite an ingenious government solution to keeping fully automatic machine guns out of the hands of good citizens since anyone with a rubber mallet and a flathead screwdriver can remove the only thing that keeps them from becoming fully automatic... but we were discussing my baby... my AUG... and besides, I eschewhuman organizations and their conventions... piffle such as jacketedammo... what is the point, really? Cetaceans are not members of NATO... The pod's only allegiance is to The Cube and to our Glorious Leader, Red Square... He took us in when no others would... but that story is for another time...
 

Sister, I think the .17 Cal H&R is sweet and I'll have to disagree with the Colonel on what is and isn't suitable for popping Class Enemies. Hell, even a Red Ryder can put out a Class Enemy eye if you pump it enough, ask Comrade Ralphie. Not only that, it's good for shooting talent shitting birds that try to steal suet from my prole peckerheaded friends.

..back to Che Spotting.
The "P" in PMDD might mean Permanent. I suspect that maybe Theo did a botched Jiffy-Lobo and that would explain the hole, the spotting, and all of Che's violent mood swings.
Maybe Che should use a winged Marxi Pad™ for those heavy flow days he's been having since 1967?

Marxi Pad™, Proud Sponsor of Che Spotting Since The Summer of Love and Riots.
Marxi Pad™ is the preferred pad of bleeding radical feminists everywhere.

 

Notice the ® on the painting, perhaps the artist is a bit of a satirist.
 

(off)

Hey girls, I've got a picture of Che for you.



It's him in his most useful role, compost.
 

Comrade Sister, I'm sorry I missed the part about board tables. Indeed the .17 is wonderful for such distances.

A Steyer AUG? I denounce you for having a fancier rifle than I do. I had a chance to handle the FN SCAR recently. Ooooh I had all manner of unprogressive thoughts about selling my AK's and SKS' just to finance one. I have little personal use for a .223 semi auto though, but have thought about getting an H&R Handi Rifle in .223
 

Denouncing Sister?

Are you an idiot?
Who is going to wash your sheets (especially after a Meow "sleepover") and sweep your dead people under the rug?
Sure, you can call Jodin for Limo service (612) 503-9482, but it's smoke free, so you can't fire up a Big Fidel or some of The People's Herb™, (Well, maybe some of The People's Herb™, just use the passwords "Rubber Bullet") besides that, he doesn't drive a Lada or a Trabant, therefore you're screwed.

It's perfectly fine that she has a rifle more equal than yours.
 

There's money to be had in Che--this is only $3,650.00



Notice that there is a lock--would Che approve of that?

With this comes a coupon book to Jiffi-Lobo--a tune-up a week for a year. Considering the state you are in when you fork out that money, by the end of the year your cranium will be empty enough to be a humidor.
 

What's all this stuff about "Hasta La Victoria's Secret?"
The Party™ knows everything!
There are no secrets!

Is this some kind of advertising campaign in conjunction with Marxi Pads?
 

Laika the Space Dog

Denouncing Sister?

Are you an idiot?
Who is going to wash your sheets (especially after a Meow "sleepover") and sweep your dead people under the rug?
Sure, you can call Jodin for Limo service (612) 503-9482, but it's smoke free, so you can't fire up a Big Fidel or some of The People's Herb™, (Well, maybe some of The People's Herb™, just use the passwords "Rubber Bullet") besides that, he doesn't drive a Lada or a Trabant, therefore you're screwed.

It's perfectly fine that she has a rifle more equal than yours.

Inner Comrade #9 (I'm sick and tired of these soviet pattern rifles, where the only accessory is a new mag, leather sling or a sharper bayonet) is to blame for this. I must apologize and denounce both myself and Inner Comrade #9. I'm still jealous though. But Sister has most discerning taste, very, very discerning indeed. I am further in awe.
 

Dearest Laika,

Thank you for defending my honour, but the Colonel has not known me as long as you and certainly not as well, and so he does not know my respect for good tools... He does not know that I was brought up by a pod that put great stock (no pun intended) in ability and self-sufficiency and so raised this dolphin to respect quality tools, whatever their use. In this instance, it is a firearm... in other instances, it might be a knife (yes... I still mourn the loss of my favourite blade to the head of the first Kulak Monster I ever killed... my best blade, corroded by the poison that issued from the creature, not only dulling it but literally eating it beyond the repair of any grinder or whetstone... and it was so perfectly balanced... true, Pater did replace it with a lovely throwing blade of Damascus steel - wrought in a single piece, the tang crafted in such a manner that there is no need for the addition of a 'handle', and quite pretty, of course, as most Damascus steel is, the wavy iridescent designs almost mesmerizing in the right light, flashing so many colours as you move it back and forth so that it almost calls to you to fling it into someone or sneak up behind them and... heavy sigh.... I'm sorry... I got carried away...)... in any case, the point (no pun intended) being that to each according to their need... and these are simply the quality of tool that my job at the Cube demands...

Not to mention the fact that as a Jewish Survivalist Dolphin, I have been raised to expect that knock at the door in the dark of night, if that politeness is even offered, rather than the door simply being kicked down... we must always be ready to defend or take flight, to defend, to hide, to survive, because no matter how long we have lived somewhere, how friendly our neighbours, how safe it seems, no matter what my Buddhist leanings in times of ease, I will never have to remember that I am a Jew because there will always be someone there to remind me, and so I have been raised to be a shit-kicking take-no-prisoners bitch out of their worst nightmares because they always come for the Jews first, and they ain't getting this one... I have been taught to fuck them up and then disappear so that they will never find me. This pretty veneer of civilization is all well and good, but it is stupidity to allow it to lull me into a false sense of security because it is tissue paper thin and it can be shredded in a second, leaving a mean mean world, red in tooth and claw... just because those around me are human does not mean they are humane, and so while I can be as civilized as the next dolphin, I refuse to let it make me stupid and slow, no matter what my physical deficiencies...

Put simply, I don't trust the world. I have been too often surprised by those who had no idea what I was and so let their guard down and spoke honestly to me, showing me what they really were. There are very few truly decent humans in the world, and the rest are sheep... but sometime sheep are more dangerous than wolves, because they just mindlessly do what the sheep next to them is doing... So, this dolphin has teeth....



... and is more than happy and well-trained to use them. Victimhood is a choice, especially given what history teaches. It would be sheer stupidity to ignore its lessons.

But enough unpleasantness.. there is also joy in using well-crafted tools, and honour in caring for them. In that, I know that Laika and I are of the same mind. And so, as far as doing my job for the Cube, I ask nothing but that my desire for the right tool for the job is respected, and that you all check your pockets for Kleenex before you send it to the laundry... there's nothing more annoying than discovering some dipshit has left a Kleenes in his pocket upon opening the washing machines, and given Meow's varied and oft-changing proclivities, we've stopped blindly sticking our fins in pockets to check them... once bitten (or rather, stuck) twice shy, and none of us has the desire to have to go through either six months of weekly blood tests or a series of rabies shots again... I did, for a time, think about simply burning his laundry, but his inclination toward the decadent would make that prohibitively expensive and so we maintain, but the collective entire suffers for his 'art', or whatever the hell he's calling it this week... I never thought I'd say it, but I miss the steadying influence that Dr. P had no him... unbelievable, really... but then, it's Meow we're discussing and so nothing is beyond belief...

As for the Marxi-pads, I can think of only one difficulty, my dear Laika... I am age-handicapped in this regard, but I am fairly certain that self-adhering sanatorium napkins did not become available until some time in the mid-seventies and so keeping the Marxi-pads in place would require some sort of medi-eval type belt-like contraption, not to mention that they were, I understand, particularly bulky and even wings are a very recent engineering improvement... So, if we are speaking hysterectomally historically, then the Marxi-pad solution, while a good one, might be a mite... visually... disturbing... both for The Che, and for those around him... However, if we are speaking in present terms, then by all means, certainly, the modern Marxi-pad seems a brilliant solution, with certain models even allowing for him to have a good nights sleep without worrying about unsightly leakage... and as absorbency has improved markedly, the modern Marxi-pad could be well hidden underneath his usually present beret... And so, once again, historical context come into play...

Okay... my work here is done, and so I must away... to sleep... please gawd... just a little tonight... I didn't manged to fall asleep until 10:00 this morning and I cannot afford to lose another day to exhaustion and obsessive-compulsive Kelly and Jen skit-writing possibilities running through my head... so Laika, dear friend, if you could manage something that might ease me off to sleep, I would very much appreciate it... I know we missed retro-Friday this week, but I'll speak to Pravda the 1st and see if we can't come up with some magnificent 80's retro playlist to make up for missing last Friday, but if you could just tell me which way to point the antenae on my tinfoil hat to pick up something somnambulant... a classical lullably or some Perry Como... not even my meds are helping... ah... and now here comes the cat... so away with the computer...

Sweet dreams, friends...
 

Yes, the veneer of civilization is thin. From Dr. Habira, ex-muslim scholar of islam:

Quote:

Moderate Muslims leave the violent basis of Islam for Islamic terrorists to implement while they present the ritualistic side to the world and thereby deceive it. Moderate Islam is more deadly because while the terrorists are clear enemies, the moderates make inroads into `infidel' lands, and deceive the host cultures until the terrorists can do the dirty work. History is replete with example after example of this typically Muslim deceitful strategy
A bit more here

And with Islam you get this



If you don't have the stomach for it, it tells you that the Koran is an instruction manual for beating women.

If a woman grew up being beaten, you have to beat her. If she disrespects you, you have to beat her. And if she won't obey you, you have to beat her.

And all this is creeping, creeping, creeping toward you...
 

Commissar Theocritus

Quote:

Moderate Muslims leave the violent basis of Islam for Islamic terrorists to implement while they present the ritualistic side to the world and thereby deceive it. Moderate Islam is more deadly because while the terrorists are clear enemies, the moderates make inroads into `infidel' lands, and deceive the host cultures until the terrorists can do the dirty work. History is replete with example after example of this typically Muslim deceitful strategy...

And all this is creeping, creeping, creeping toward you...

Or hopping, hopping, hopping toward you.. the Islamo-Progs coming soon to a swamp near you...



...Islamo-Progs are pretty creepy, Commissar, you're right.
 

Are they any creepier than the average mullah? I take second place to no one in shouting "Death to America," but there times that my progressivism fails me and I figure that they, gulp, might mean me.

Then I get a tune-up at Jiffy-Lobo and I'm a good progressive again. And can't find my ass with both hands tied behind my back.
 

Islamo-Progs are creepier if you ask me Commissar, because they parade around in western costumes and skip the usual direct "Death To America" rant, about as creepy as the Che-Prog Girls of this thread...



Now mind you, I'm all for completely SLANTED journalism where The Party picks out a few nutbags and calls it FACT... What could be more Proggy than that? But I wonder should we just come out and ADMIT that we are philosophically on the same side? Maybe this way you could just skip and hold hands with the mullahs all the way to The Emerald City.
 

Of course. RR, embrace the double standard. Michael Moore moaned that Osama bin Laden didn't target people in Red states, but in Blue states. Now that's not a hate crime.

But Dr. Janeane "Wormhole" Garofalo said that conservatives have no prefrontal lobes. That's not a hate crime either.

See? It's all about who says it.

There is no truth, only authorship. That's a true prog trog attitude. Screw reality. Because it's what I say it is.
 

Theo -

prog trog = neoprog
 

I was thinking of progressive troglodyte--would that be a paleoprog?
 

Commissar, prog trog = neoprog because what can be more gloriously progressive and newly progressive than a progressive troglodyte. In fact, Osama bin Ladel-In-An-Old-Witches-Kitchen the Cave Dweller and stirrer of the meanest Bitch's Brew (to quote Miles Davis after his trips to the Poppy Fields of Afghanistan) around - is the most progressive neoprog I can think of. I bet Che Gourmet visits THE OBL's cave often to serve up the finest caviar curry kebab's in his a cave full of gawkers, worshippers, mourners, and troglodyte schemers. One more reason to skip down the yellow brick road with the mullah's of the Mata Hari.

And so Commissar, I'll have the tailors at your house in the AM with the latest in bandage of Mohammad head wraps and Muharram sweat robes. You will know they are arriving by the stench that vastly comes upon your dacha as they approach within the 100 kilometer range.

Shortly thereafter, the Kebab Krew will arrive with Che Gourmet and slice and sever some of the quirkiest curry on stick you've ever devoured.

Enjoy Commissar, we do it all for you.
 

"We are Kelly and Jen, and we are not Communists.

We are just two girls who went to Cuba and fell in love with Che. This is our story."


Such a wonderful story. I laughed...I cried...(I retched)....I felt a progressive fire burning in my gut. I feel the desire to become a Che-spotter like these (idiots) girls. It's overwhelming,this desire. It feels so similar to the feelings that I have for the Obamessiah.
Now I'm torn....do I make my pilgrimage to Washington, or do I dare go out into the world and search for the undeniably charismatic images of this murderous thug...er.... fallen hero.
Once again,I feel like Betty....my head hurts! I can't choose. It's too difficult!
I guess I'll just stay home and do my nails.
 

Thank you, RR. I'll tell Bruno to be on the lookout. But please know that if the Kebab Crew doesn't have at least one sparkly thing he won't find them. You could drive an armed division by him without him noticing, but a single dung beetle rolling a turd with one little piece of glitter could keep him absorbed for hours. The only reason he's around is that he is the perfect barometer of the attention span of a prog-trog.

L-n-T, by all means go out and search the world for Che. To each according to his, or in this case, her hyphen. We have Necrophiliac-Americans. Like Kelly and Jen.

What about parricidal Necrophiliac-Americans?
 

I'm still waiting for our progressive photoshoppers to come up with the official feminist bleeding knapkin ad campaign:

Marxi Pads™ for superior protection on those heavy progressive flow days and the occasional Che Spotting. The Party™ demands every last drop.

Designer Marxi Pads™ can be found exclusively at Hasta La Victoria's Secret.
 

Comrade Laika the Space Dog, that's a bloody order that many prog photoshoppers won't touch with a ten foot pole... however since I am a Dead Man Walking I will give it a go. In fact, the presentation of this project to the nearest most equal commisarka required a trip to Jiffi-Lobo, it was a bloody mess comrade:


 

Most equal, comrade RR! How about posting it on the Che spotting site? Kelly and Jen might just go ahead and order a few crates for their travels to more advanced countries where women still use rags if anything at all.
 

I must say Red Rooster's is far more bold and more equal than my humble submission.
I denounce Red Rooster for being unnecessarily excellent.


 

RS, Huh? Are you crazy! I'm still soothing the scratches with vodka from the last Cock and Cat fight! Comrade Space Dog is far more equal in the tinfoil department. More Marxi Pad(TM) on the way...

Excellent work Kommisar! Thank you for the denouncement...
 

Comrades this is simply glorious. Why I just made like Comrade Stalin's statue did and laughed my ass off!
 

And then there's:

 

And for the Feminyst In Training:


 

Bwhahahahaha.....pfffffttttt.....LOL......ROTFLMAO!

Ouch....I just hurt something. This is deadly humor comrades! As in deadly since 1967 and they'll never get over it.

Such superior Insanitary Napkins!

Kudos Rooster and Maksim!
Yes, please make your submissions to Che Spotting. If Red is correct, they'll need a COSTCO shipping container full of Marxi Pads™ sent over to their next Summer Semester in DPRK when they go JuCHE Spotting.
It's either that or bark from a Weeping Willow tree when they get there.
 

Comrades, I am pleased to have pleased The Party, however my most unequal connection will not allow me to submit the Insanitary Napkins to our comrades at Che Spotting. Please feel free to submit my contributions for The Good of The People. It was painful easy to create such wonders to please The Party...

I hope the commissarkas of The Cube will forgive me rejoice for such Progressive creations.

Submit at will comrades.
 

And here I always thought male comrades were grossed out by the very mention of this sort of thing.

As someone who's clearly more mature than all of you, I should really disapprove of all these goings-on, but after another re-reading of these posts, I've decided that I will bestow Beet of the Week on whosoever succeeds in submitting one of the proposed graphics to Che Spotting, or barring that, getting some kind of reaction from the Che Spotters, proof of which must be Mimeswiped here.

I just hope for your sake you don't catch them on one of their--shall we say, more equal days.
 

Commissarka Pinkie, I have seen more 'napkins' used and unused than any male comrade alive. Don't ask me why, don't ask me how, just know I appreciate the sensitivity of the subject. I attempted the following text submission, but am unable submit the graphics:

Here

Quote:

I find the Kantian synthesis of Che Spotting delightful. It is glorious that children can be introduced to Che in such an innocent and fun loving way.

Che’ was instrumental in helping us Soviets in the Motherland plant Nuclear Warheads in Cuba which resulted in John F. Kennedy’s squirming and many little Eichmann’s cowering under their decadent bourgeois school desks.

Someday soon sisters our countries will be united and Che Spotting can be a glorious past time for all.

Thank you for carrying on the work of the people.

Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Posted by Boris | May 29, 2009, 5:06 pm



Comrades! MOVE IT or a QUICK AND PAINFUL TRIP TO THE GULAG AWAITS YOU!

Who will win The Beet of The Week? The EXCITEMENT IS KILLING ME!
 

" I have seen more 'napkins' used and unused than any male comrade alive!"

Ah Ha!

The Roto Rooter Red Rooster Man!



I knew it...sly dog.
 

Sly kitty?
 

Most unequal, the comrades at Che Spotting use MODERATION on their comments and posts.
 

Comrade Colonel, were you able to make a deposit of Marxi Pads? Who will WIN THE BEET OF THE WEEK?

Lenin 'n' Things

Sly kitty?

Oh yeah Comrade Lenin 'n' Things, you want proof?


 

Colonel 7.62

Most unequal, the comrades at Che Spotting use MODERATION on their comments and posts.

Yes, I too noticed that, and that none of our comrades' posts seem to be going through. That, or K and J are somewhere abroad leaving more carbon footprints in their quest for new Che pictures.

To that end, I've conducted a little experiment by posting this little rave review. If it goes through, then we'll know it is too about politics and no matter how bad a boy he is, Kelly and Jen still believe he's sweet and sensitive and like, totally understands them, and like, just needs the right girl(s) to tame his wild heart and restless soul.

Quote:

What a great site, and what a great way for people to learn about Che! I think it’s fabu his image is all over the world! He must be a great man to be able to bring together so many people in so many different countries. I think Obama will do the same. Peace and Love ARE possible if only we have one we can look up to, and he is here.
Keep up the great work, Kelly and Jen!
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Posted by
Pinkie
| May 30, 2009, 5:06 am

 

I have read that Che was lacking in, well, personal hygiene. I read a review of a book by Mao's doctor who said that Mao wanted to sleep with a thousand virgins for immortality but refused to wash his privates, thinking that it sapped his virility. Our Many Titted Empress, as first lady of Arkansas, was noted for being pungent.

Do I detect a pattern here? That stink is not only skin deep?
 

Conservative Cramps?
Bourgeoisie Bloating?

Progrin™ will eliminate those painful days of the month you may actually have a thought of your own. Let Progrin™ help you when you can't help yourself.
 

Ad copy:

"Have you ever had days when you thought it's just not worth stealing?

"When you thought, Seven years without a terrorist attack. Maybe Bush did something right.

"Then take Progrin(tm)!

"Progrin(tm) is recommended after every trip to Jiffi-Lobo"
 

STAYCHE offers a full line of marxi pads that were designed to help progs of all ages feel guiltier and morally superior to non progs throughout their busy lives
 

What about a Marxi-pad for Joe Biden's mouth? I hear that the wind blew over a TelePrompTer where Biden was giving a speech and he made some comment about how Barack would be pissed.

I think that Joe is pissed, and I don't mean mad, all the time.
 

Get Yours Today:


 

Thank you, RR, for your kind appropriation of my ad copy. Which I of course am glad to donate for the Greater Good(tm).

I do wonder. If Bill Clinton had used a little Progrin on his little soldier, would we have had the impeachment?
 

Of course Theo, Joe Biden enjoys Marxi Pads(TM) too:


 

Very good, RR, very good. Were this an x-rated site we could have two Marxi-pads in his drawers for when he is so piss-drunk that he shits the bed.

Perhaps Air Force Two ought to devote economy class to boxes of Marxi-pads for his speaking engagements?
 

Thanks! And now for a TIME REWIND:


 

RR, my hat is off to you. You have developed the anti-Viagra. But what about Enzyte? I think that some people believe it's for, er, penile enhancement but I think it's true prog enhancement. There are so many ways to screw people.
 

Los Angeles Times joins the craze of Che spotting.

Keeping an eye on Che Guevara with CheSpotting.com

The same article is being reproduced all over the nation.

San Francisco Chronicle: CheSpotting.com collects Che around the world
NorthJersey.com: On the Web: CheSpotting.com
Hartford Courant: CheSpotting.com: Home Of Che Guevara Image Fans

The meaning of this news story is not really important. It is only important that all Party organs follow the Party directives:

- Talking about the coolness of Che is valid news.
- Examples of admiration for Che is valid news.
- Making Che movies with US dollars is valid news.
- Describing how badly Che movies sucked is NOT valid news.

The above Party organs posted their Che spotting stories under the sections of Travel and Better Living. BETTER LIVING, comrades!

Next item is Better Living & Travel: Che spotting in a Cuban hospital:


 

Umm...ahh..Actually I was comparing Motrin to Progrin.
You know..bloating, cramping. CLUES.

Bueller? Anybody? Pinkie, SMO....I think the boys need some help on this subject.
Maybe Jelly & Ken..I mean Jen & Kelly can enlighten them.
 

Laika, I got it.

Er, and no comments please.
 

Red Square

The meaning of this news story is not really important. It is only important that all Party organs follow the Party directives:

- Talking about the coolness of Che is valid news.
- Examples of admiration for Che is valid news.
- Making Che movies with US dollars is valid news.
- Describing how badly Che movies sucked is NOT valid news.

Don't forget the most important directive of all: That reproducing (or Mimeswiping if you will) this same article in every newspaper/blog is what makes it valid news in the first place, and ergo all the rage and very important!

Quote:

The above Party organs posted their Che spotting stories under the sections of Travel and Better Living. BETTER LIVING, comrades!

And why would it not be in Better Living? Certainly I had no life until I discovered Che Spotting.

Oh wait, I get it, silly me. You male comrades think it should be under SPORTS! Everything has to be about SPORTS with you guys. Who can find the most Che images? Who can submit them to Che Spotting the fastest? And who has the biggest CHE of all?

Oh, and check out the latest submission:

http://www.chespotting.com/che-spotting-8/

The Virgin Che? It looks more like "Che Goes Muslim" to me--the most perfect combo since they put peanut butter with chocolate. Dr. Frankenstein couldn't come up with this.
 

Laika the Space Dog

Umm...ahh..Actually I was comparing Motrin to Progrin.
You know..bloating, cramping. CLUES.

Laika: http://www.progrin.com/

So back to the drawing board... FINE JUST FINE! LIKE, OH MY GAWD, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO! DUH!????! OH MY GAWD! MEN! THERE LIKE SO SPORTY! ESPECIALLY DAWGS! GAWD!
 

Here's Che spotting from the old edition of News We Don't Have Time to Write About



RELATED STORIES:

MIT Professor sells "Che" toasts on eBay
------------------------
MIT Professor caught using institute's laser in a scam to make 5,000 "accidental" Che toasts
 

Comrades, I think that we are missing the boat with mere Che spotting. What about the martial art of Tai Che? Che was all about revolution, and there simply are some places where you can't get in front of a camera and say idiotic things and have idiotic television hosts pull their idiotic chins and have idiotic people in the audience say that makes sense.

Che was not successful most places because the people in poor countries were not as idiotic as first-world chatterers or academicians. Or school girls.

But if he had had Tai Che, he might have kicked ass among the primitives until the primitives were as silly as the chatterers and academicians, and school girls, when he would no longer have had to use it.

This is a progression from Tai Che to Jiffi-Lobo.
 

I prepared a separate image and wanted to submit it to Che spotting, but their submission rules convinced me that it won't go through.


 

Red Rooster

Laika the Space Dog

Umm...ahh..Actually I was comparing Motrin to Progrin.
You know..bloating, cramping. CLUES.

Laika: http://www.progrin.com/

So back to the drawing board... FINE JUST FINE! LIKE, OH MY GAWD, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO! DUH!????! OH MY GAWD! MEN! THERE LIKE SO SPORTY! ESPECIALLY DAWGS! GAWD!

Try Progidol

Or Progisin/Progysin/Progisyn

There's also Progifemprin

Though I still say the best remedy is a ten pound box of dark chocolates, a case of vodka, and a "Lady Kalashnikov" with a five day supply of ammo.
 

Commissar Theocritus

What about the martial art of Tai Che?

Thanks! The Cube will now have to open the Tai Che classes, as soon as we Jiffi-Lobo a dependable instructor.


 

Comrade Red Square, that is a most equal Tai-Che graphic! I love it.

Next time I take my Not for The People guns shooting, I shall have to practice my Tai Che pose.

Note the very poor trigger skills and exaggerated efforts at aiming.

The question is then, in Tai Che does one put the entire finger through the trigger guard and use the last joint of the finger to apply pressure and pull the trigger, or does one use the first joint of the finger and gently squeeze off a shot?
 

Red, a very equal graphic. I wonder if it would be too much to have pictures of Democrat party leaders behind Che, them pointing at class enemies. I really must learn some Photoshop.

Colonel, the technique doesn't matter. By definition the class enemy is already conquered and is being held. It's like the Roman emperor (Nero?) who entered the Olympics and who fell off his chariot, with ten horses instead of the usual quadriga using four, and still won it anyway.
 

Indeed you are correct, Commissar. The most equal Wikipedia concurs.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nero#Public_performances
 

Commissar Theocritus

Red, a very equal graphic. I wonder if it would be too much to have pictures of Democrat party leaders behind Che, them pointing at class enemies. I really must learn some Photoshop.

Colonel, the technique doesn't matter. By definition the class enemy is already conquered and is being held. It's like the Roman emperor (Nero?) who entered the Olympics and who fell off his chariot, with ten horses instead of the usual quadriga using four, and still won it anyway.

Comrade Commissar, what good does it do to hold the class enemy if one cannot hit said class enemy due to poor Tai Che skills in handling the pistol? I hate to say it, but most equal Comrade Che does not demonstrate good, or even mediocre weapons handling skills in his pose. Unless of course it is an instructional pose of how not to shoot a class enemy. Yes, that is it. As a prog, Che can do no wrong, so he is showing us what not to do.