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The People Investigate #3: The Truth Behind Captain Craptek?

POLL: What do we conclude komrade Craptek is?

You may select up to 3 options



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[img]/images/various_uploads/Craptek_Shovel_600.jpg[/img]

Craptek's identity is resolved once, and for all

Komrades!

We are all too familiar with komrade Captain Craptek. That squirrel whom you can hire to "bust any nut in existence" (why has no one conceived of this potential catchphrase material?) constantly provides invaluable input to Cube-related issues from a squirrel's/rodent's perspective. Without him, we would not be as capable of being as nutty as we are.

However, there always was one mystery surrounding this korrekt-thinking squirrel: what is the anatomical structure of this rodent?

As the cube's resident State-approved furry State-approved salesman, and detective premier, I am resolved to get to the bottom of this!

So the mystery is quite straightforward: according to multiple photographs you Cubists post on this collective, he is a feral (non-anthropomorphic) squirrel, doing normal squirrel things, like eating nuts, stashing the nut rations that he refuses to surrender to the state, (or carrying out innocent-looking rodent infiltration orchestrated by me on everyone I've declared the enemy, even if for no reason thoughtcriminals of The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™), therefore, he must be an ordinary, four-legged, non-anthropomorphic squirrel.

However, he is clearly capable of speaking, if not just understanding, human thought. He constantly is posting concise human thoughts here on this Cube for us to see (perhaps he may spare us some State-approved headache, and just tell us, but he may keep the truth a secret to our pain). I truly believe that he has to have human, or human-like dexterity to write, and post stuff on this Collective. He therefore must truly be an Anthro (short for "anthropomorphic") to perform such tasks.

I have personally concluded he is both, as he has overwhelming evidence to both. However, as with anything else in this collective, it is the people who have the ultimate verdict in the conclusion.

Assess the evidence, and conclude with the poll above!

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Evidence? Who needs evidence? When you start that, you lead to nonsense like "due process."

Get right to GUILTY, and we can keep the trains full.

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Evidence? Who needs evidence? When you start that, you lead to nonsense like "due process."

Get right to GUILTY, and we can keep the trains full.

Dearest komrade, The People's show trial, no matter how much of a show it is, must at least look somewhat like a trial...

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Without offering an opinion that might swing the jury, let me submit some documentary footage...

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And there's a lot more where it came from... https://thepeoplescube.com/red/gallery/ ... ptek-a145/

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Red Square wrote:Without offering an opinion that might swing the jury, let me submit some documentary footage...
...
And there's a lot more where it came from... https://thepeoplescube.com/red/gallery/ ... ptek-a145/

Yes. Yes. A most dramatic swing in evidence. The verdict will be swayed in light of this...

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The People's Anthony Sullivan was almost korrekt when he wrote:[img]/images/various_uploads/Craptek_Shovel_600.jpg[/img]

Craptek's identity is resolved once, and for all

Komrades!

We are all too familiar with komrade Captain Craptek. That squirrel whom you can hire to "bust any nut in existence" (why has no one conveived of this potential catchphrase material?) constantly provides invaluable input to Cube-related issues from a squirrel's/rodent's perspective. Without him, we would not be as capable of being as nutty as we are.

However, there always was one mystery surrounding this korrekt-thinking squirrel: what is the anatomical structure of this rodent?

As the cube's resident State approved furry State-approved salesman, and detective premier, I am resolved to get to the bottom of this!

So the mystery is quite straightforward: according to multiple photographs you Cubists post on this collective, he is a feral (non-anthropomorphic) squirrel, doing normal squirrel things, like eating nuts, stashing the nut rations that he refuses to surrender to the state, (or carrying out innocent-looking rodent infiltration orchestrated by me on everyone I've declared the enemy, even if for no reason thoughtcriminals of The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™), therefore, he must be an ordinary, four-legged, non-anthropomorphic squirrel.

[highlight=#FFFF00]However, he is clearly capable of speaking, if not just understanding, human thought.[/highlight] He constantly is posting concise human thoughts here on this Cube for us to see (perhaps he may spare us some State-approved headache, and just tell us, but he may keep the truth a secret to our pain). I truly believe that he has to have human, or human-like dexterity to write, and post stuff on this Collective. He therefore must truly be an Anthro (short for "anthropomorphic") to perform such tasks.

I have personally concluded he is both, as he has overwhelming evidence to both. However, as with anything else in this collective, it is the people who have the ultimate verdict in the conclusion.

Assess the evidence, and conclude with the poll above!

"Human thought" is not the most difficult of achievements...

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Captain Craptek wrote: "Human thought" is not the most difficult of achievements...

[img]/peoples_resource/image/44717-BadaBing3.gif[/img]

Clearly, little squirrel. Clearly.

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I will go along with any party-approved decision, and shout its slogans loud and clear! For all I care, 2 + 2 = Craptek.


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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:Well, this solves some of the mystery...

[img]/peoples_resource/image/44725-squirrel.jpg[/img]

Indeed komrade. Indeed it does.


 
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