Dearest friends, and comrades, it is time to put on our (state-approved) thinking caps, and solve a mystery!

Because together we can solve the world's greatest mysteries!

Let the world see the sheer brilliance of what the world's most shovel-ready detectives can do!

You will all be presented a case, and shall solve the unsolved dilemmas; what you find you shall publish in the replies.

Today we see a case in Steppy Pants, which is about a mere proletariat who braves the world's most unspeakable modern danger.

What is it, this danger, you ask? fire? getting attacked? oh no, it is a danger far more inconceivable to the human mind than any of them: the sidewalk! (the state orders you here to gasp)

You see, the proletariat is faced with the most unspeakable danger called the sidewalk. If said proletariat even TAPS the crack in the sidewalk, he/she shall collapse. But they say this young proletariat doesn't complain bacause he is given free coffee (state-approved, hopefully?), which makes him go faster. Rumours abound that it was because of happened shortly after the implementation of glorious Obamacare, which, we all sadly regret, is still to this day not The People's Obamacare, a health plan that would be but be The People's instead. A conclusive finding awaits, and you shall help solve this case. The proletariat has also to deal with dynamite planted on the sidewalk; rumour has it that it is to somehow motivate the proletariat who is walking the street.

But it is not over. Another level demonstrates the young, bold proletariat walking on objects because the floor is now made of lava. Unfortunately, no rumours abound as to why that person doesn't even have an actual solid floor. To that end, my comrades, you must solely rely on your imagination mystery solving skills to make up find the answer!

But just when you think this case is over, you are now transported to a dark street where you get chased by fellow proletariats. You can run away, but you can get caught in sticky webs that line the street. A thought crosses my mind: is this the product of crass kapitalism? Thankfully it will be you the Cube who will find the most uncomfortable truth. I another proletariat so much as brushes up against you, both of you will fall; they say that it is only fair, as the state-approved rhetoric goes: "in kapitalist running into the person in front of you, it is not only fair that who gets pushed shall fall. With the People's running into the person in front of you, the act of falling is redistributed. Therefore, both will, very fairly, fall as one, a sign of the achievement of true equality".

Finally, this proletariat is spotted walking the rooftops. He/she will walk, picking up, and redistributing presents. Rumours on the street (the street, by the way, is gone if you closely notice the background) is that Santa has now chosen to be as red as his suit, and has decided to redistribute the presents with the help of The People. When interviewed, he replied "I have seen that the kapitalist past me symbolised the thing called kommercialism, a tragic product of kapitalism. I want to show the world I can be The People's Santa. If the proletariat works like he/she is in the beet fields, he shall be rewarded with money, which-wait, then I shall still appear kapitalist if I do this"; well, he stopped talking, and when we attempted to interview him again, he said he is not available for comment.

So comrades, the case, and all available evidence is here.

What do you, the members-playing-seriously-being-detectives find about this case? your replies shall solve the case as surely as your labours will bring about The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™, so get on in!

All problems will be solved by either high speed rail or hyperloop technology which the enlightened People's Directorate in the California Politburo have already committed to in their glorious 5 year plan.

The people's Anthony Sullivan wrote:So comrades, the case, and all available evidence is here.

What do you, the members-playing-seriously-being-detectives find about this case? your replies shall solve the case as surely as your labours will bring about The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™, so get on in!

As a sleuthing Nancy Drew (wannabee when I was 8-12), I deduce the problem to be the same as it has been since man imitated life via art on cave walls, EVERYBODY wants to rule the world.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:All problems will be solved by either high speed rail or hyperloop technology which the enlightened People's Directorate in the California Politburo have already committed to in their glorious 5 year plan.

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:

The people's Anthony Sullivan wrote:So comrades, the case, and all available evidence is here.

What do you, the members-playing-seriously-being-detectives find about this case? your replies shall solve the case as surely as your labours will bring about The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™, so get on in!

As a sleuthing Nancy Drew (wannabee when I was 8-12), I deduce the problem to be the same as it has been since man imitated life via art on cave walls, EVERYBODY wants to rule the world.

Both of you win the "First Cube detectives to solve a mystery" award. Too bad I can't produce one...