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The People's Navy Spends Stimulus Funds Wisely

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Comrades,

There have been many news stories as of late claiming that President Obama's stimulus package was spent on wasteful projects with absolutely no effect on job growth or creation and of no benefit other than piling on massive debt and further bankrupting the nation.

These stories are obviously being leaked and spun to the media by reichwing reactionary forces and have no basis in the current truth. For example this item:

-- Two Arizona universities got almost $1 million dollars so 3 grad students can study how ants work. That's more than $300,000 per job.


And worth every penny! Just think if we can unlock the keys as to how ants work then we can apply that knowledge to to put our own people back to work! It is obvious to anyone that ants do not have an unemployment problem. For some rethuglikkkan, tea bagger type to snivel that this money is wasted just shows the how uneducated these bumpkins really are.


And this item:

-- Companies that raise tropical fish, shellfish, catfish, alligators and even turtles qualify for $50 million in tax money to buy fish food.


Only a heartless conservative would want these poor creatures to starve. Cold hearts and sadistic pleasure at the suffering of others including poor defenseless turtles and fish, typical reichwing trademarks.


There was also some grumbling as to how The People's Navy was spending its share of the 10 Billion stimulus dollars granted for 'Research Projects'. That the money was being squandered on a very questionable technology to provide our submarine fleet with the ability to be totally undetectable underwater by emitting no noise at all.

These critics are about to be silenced once and for all. Our research efforts have been a total success and it is with pleasure that I inform the collective of the results of this wise expenditure of the People's borrowed funds.

The People's Navy has developed a totally noiseless and green environmentally friendly propulsion technology................. The Solar Powered Submarine.

This astounding achievement allows the submarine to travel underwater undetected by an adversary enabling the submarine to penetrate enemy defenses at will without any fear of hostile action on the enemies part.

There were major hurdles to overcome, such as while submerged deep under water there is no solar light in the dark depths to power the panels. This was easily overcome by employing some of the finest Government and Academic minds to come up with an innovated solution. The solution was to attach a cable and float the panel above the submarine, soaking up the free energy as the submarine remains hidden and totally undetectable from the enemy.


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Solar Powered Submarine Sneaking Up Totally Undetected Toward Enemy


Comrades, You can always count on The People's Navy to spend the People's Stimulus Funds wisely at all times.

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Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:-- Two Arizona universities got almost $1 million dollars so 3 grad students can study how ants work. That's more than $300,000 per job.
And worth every penny! Just think if we can unlock the keys as to how ants work then we can apply that knowledge to to put our own people back to work! It is obvious to anyone that ants do not have an unemployment problem. For some rethuglikkkan, tea bagger type to snivel that this money is wasted just shows the how uneducated these bumpkins really are.

I too have wasted hundreds of thousands of dollars studied this phenomenon at the
Cubes Collective Studies Institute of Progressive Progressiveness ™ .

I will forward my findings immediately to aid the Arizona Collective!


ant-farm.gif

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-- Two Arizona universities got almost $1 million dollars so 3 grad students can study how ants work. That's more than $300,000 per job.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums,

In all due respect the money's achieved a much higher efficiency than you reported.
First the ants studied were workers. They are not unionized, nor are they being paid a living wage. This must be alleviated by more legislation and voter registration.

Second, they are all female. While they are a collective many inequities remain. They are being exploited by the corporation that is the ant colony. Their leader while female, has taken advantage of the basic innate qualities found in females in nature. The female's tendency to care for the greater good. While this is both desirable and necessary for all. The female workers are left without a choice in the matter. Further the females are forced to feed the unproductive males that inhabit the colony. It is also noted that the Leader is forced to procreate without any access to birth control and she has no control over her productive history.

Thirdly, While the cost of the actual study appears high, statistically it was a financial wash. When the monies spent are extrapolated across the millions of worker ants plus the 3 grad students it is likely that less than the prevailing minimum wage was being paid for all participants. Thus the conundrum of the Stimulus package. While we have found both jobs created and millions saved, more money and work is yet needed to ensure both living wages, union dues, and voter registrations for all participants involved.


I am alerting Joe Biden, SEIU, and ACORN to the successes found here as well as the ongoing challenges faced with this glorious recovery.


Respectfully submitted

Groucho Marxist.

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Commodore Snoogie, I trust that now you'll be able to keep the promise you made to the Party that your sub would be able to tail that treasure hunter Mel Fisher and the next time he finds a sunken Spanish galley full of gold you'd be there to scoop it up before he can lay claim.

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Comrade Snoogs : I see you are using the technology things to... 2 ! When great minds like John Holdren* become chief science advisor to the President, ideas such as your stealth underwater submarine vessel solar device are given the federal moneys quicker than you can say " ACORN " !.

By the way, Does the People's Navy receive its orders from Red Square directly through his top secret command bunker center ( there may be doubters of its existence listening in.......)
They are useful in helping to deceive the rightwingers, so we let them post their opinions about this...

* He also came up with the idea to paint all the roofs in the world white, so as to reflect solar heat back out to space and cool down the Earth. If that doesn't say brilliance, nothing does.

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Comrades,

If the man who built this submarine was so clever, he would have used two smaller collectors,
one on the Port
and one on the starboard
. The submarine would be exactly placed between these two secret collectors. What could be sneakier?

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bacon-ak-47-375x500.jpg
With the ultimate efficiency our Navy has used stimulus funds to design and produce a fully functional AK-47 made from bacon.Not only can you kill Tea-baggers at a rate of 30 per banana clip, but you can nibble on it when you are hungry. As always, maximum killing and hunger satisfying efficiency from our government....

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Comrade Tovarish Snoogie Woogams, Hero of People's Navy.....

I have proposal for slight modifications to your solar platform....cut-out holes in deck so that missiles can be launched through it from submarine below. The fools will never guess what surprise from us waits off of their shoreline.
Come...we will share a bottle of the good stuff together out behind the Navy's dumpster and toast this new secret weapon, yes !
Floating ICBM Platform.jpg
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I am very confused about this picture showing water and nothing else. Clearly great leader has personally designed some sort of stealth island or vessel that can not be seen. perhaps this picture is like a tsunami and under the surface is the unstopable glorious world of next tuesday!


 
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