People's Squirrel welcomes Hillary Clinton at book tour stop

Our very own Captain Craptek was spotted welcoming the People's Commie-Czar Hillary Rodent Clinton at her book tour stop on the Campus of George Washington University. With rumors of ReThugliKKKans being about, Captain Craptek helped with security by inspecting the interior of the election campaign book tour bus that Mz. Clinton was using.

Read the full article about The People's Squirrel™ here.

Well, it looks from that photo as though Hillary is already throwing people under the bus even though she's not even president yet. What a leader!

Opiate of the People wrote:Well, it looks from that photo as though Hillary is already throwing people under the bus even though she's not even president yet. What a leader!

She's simply getting a head start for future scandals. Most excellent foresight! She is indeed qualified to be in the oval office. Soon, there will be a mandatory volunteer sign-up in your precinct to get under on the bus for the collective good. Forward!

An now she's up here, doing a book reading. We already have an overabundance of squirrels in Toronto. We have rare red squirrels, grey squirrels, black squirrels, flying squirrels (sugar gliders), and even chipmunks, which are a lot like squirrels. They are noisy, territorial, and steal from our bird feeders, though they don't get into the garbage like raccoons. They scream at you if get too close but are happy to get close if they can sneak something from you. They damage siding, eaves, chimneys, attics, and roofs. They chew on the wires they use as superhighways, knocking out power, telephone service and cable. They rip up lawns and gardens, looking for tulip bulbs (no matter what deterrents you put in place), places to hide their hoards, and just in case they might find something. They're rats with tails. And we can't shoot them.

And now, Hillary is in Toronto to do a reading and book signing. She's primarily reading to women who will ask her idiotic book club driven questions about the "hard decisions" she had to make as a dedicated working career wife and mother, even though in truth, as dedicated working career women who are wives and mothers they have little or nothing in common with her. They, most of them, have more than one child, and will never have a coterie of aides, secretaries, 24 hour cooks and house staff... their kids will never go to expensive private schools driven by secret service agents, but they will struggle to afford day care, and no one will worry about the groceries, the housekeeping or the laundry for them... and for their trouble, they will never get a book deal... They will never be a squirrel... a rat with a tale, so to speak, but they will imagine this particular rat with a tale has something in common with them and vice versa, and that her hard decisions (whether to castrate Bill for schtupping the little blue dress in the oval office or any of the others, or even to stay with him) are in any way the hard decisions they think they have in common with her. For their trouble, they will get a macaroni necklace and a few mother's day brunches, but they won't give readings or go on book tours... And yet they believe they have something in common with this women and she will disingenuously pretend she has something in common with them. She will dig up our gardens, and steal our tulip bulbs, and chew through our wires, and damage our siding... and for all that we won't be able to shoot her...

We already have enough rats with tails in Toronto, shrieking at us if they think we're in their territory but taking what they can get from us...

And just because Squirrel and Moose are friends, doesn't mean we want any more squirrels...

So, take her back! We've already had to put up with Al Gore in a gas-guzzling Escalade motorcade whinging on and hectoring us about global warming, while his house in the U.S. used 20 times the amount of electricity as the average same sized home and Kanadistan's carbon footprint is nothing compared to most countries, and our air quality problems come from the coal fire power plants on the other side of lake Ontario. Take her back now!

I fear that her immigration and citizenship documents were on a certain IRS computer. MTE is now an "anchor", opening the way for Chelsea and Bill to follow. Don't fret, she has a plan for healthcare for you... All the best, and good luck with that!

This just announced: the Mayor of Toronto has just been released from rehab! Come on, citizens of Kanadastan, give the guy another CRACK at it!

Comrade Tovarichi,

You'll have to excuse our "People's Mayor" who is not back in office officially until June 30th and who faces massive election loss shortly. Kanadistan is never as forward thinking as Amerika, and so we are only now catching up with the likes of Marion Berry and the manner in which the Mayors of large municipalities are supposed to comport themselves. You'll have to pardon our provincial-ness.

Captain Craptek,

As what is clearly the rarer red squirrel, you would be most welcome in our fair city. Gentler of nature and spirit... a lover, not a fighter... and not remotely big enough to be a rat with a tail. It is the overabundant grey and black squirrels that are the bane of our outdoor existence. I'm sure many moose would line up to make friends. And yes, we have many nuts in Kanadistan.

Sis.

Dear SMO...

I spent a year in Markham, a suburb of Toronto, and am fully aware of local and provincial politics of our neighbors to our North, I enjoyed it, and the breweries and their products--far superior to most in Amerikka (Texazistan breweries are not on that list...)

OFF TOPIC

Tovarichi,

Goodness! And entire year in Markham! You have experienced the Great White North!

When I first moved to T.O., I actually lived in Downsview, just south of Finch off Dufferin - part of North York, before amalgamation, when it was actually a city in its own right and contiguous with Vaughan and Markham along Steeles and with Toronto proper, the border of which I now live on to the street south of me (Toronto, not Markham). Etobicoke, from whence the tragic Mr. Ford originates, was then its own city, as was East York, Mississauga, Scarberia (Scarborough), and others. Back then, north of Steeles, there were actual spaces, rather than one continuous swathe of subdivisions from Steeles to Lake Simcoe. Vaughan was so undeveloped that the York U. campus actually had a functioning optical observatory on the north end of the campus, unhindered by overly-much light pollution. The sad thing is, Ford was actually a decent mayor after years of David Miller and his socialist cronies who had taken over everything from city council to the TTC to just about every else they could improperly tender lop-sided over-priced contracts to, and who have managed to take over the Greater Toronto Area city council in the wake of his mounting public foibles. He was rough around the edges, but it's what made him a good mayor, who respected our money and managed to actually de-unionize half of T.O. garbage collection, from west of Yonge Street... a miraculous feat, given the public service unions' strangle-hold on everything from garbage to transit to safety and health and education, and he did it with no loss of service and proved that privatizing garbage collection could save money and still work.

He's made a buffoon of himself and his unwillingness to be anything other than himself alienated too many people on council, but until his latest idiocy, he actually could and would have won the coming election. Now, I fear, after too short a time, the vote will be split and the widow of the the late leader of the Federal New Democratic Party (our left wing party, if you remember anything about our politics... Conservative Party, Liberal Party, NDP - what used to be called social democrats... socialists) will win on a platform of raising our taxes even more and spending our money freely and with great abandon on everything from overly unionized transit systems that take an overly short view of infrastructure and pay as much to toilet moppers as they do to the people who should be given incentives to run a lean and efficient public service, to school boards that are so top-heavy with out-of-control hiring of over-zealous sophist hacks conducting social experiments in educating our future and pushing paper when they can't afford to pay a decent wage to actual teachers and when the teachers' unions do enter into collective bargaining they'll have been so abused by the system their unions will pretty much have already mandated they strike... which is exactly what happened over and over during the David Miller years (in spite of the fact that education falls under provincial purview, it is heavily influenced and driven by municipal politics, and there is a ridonkulous number of school boards, even within each city, each duplicating all manner of support and clerical functions)... We are headed for a dark period of idiocy in this city, where our already crumbling transport infrastructure will continue to get worse and worse, and cost us more and more, while they put in more overly expensive bike lanes in a city that needs more subways, but already needs to use too many buses and streetcars and LRT's that don't stand up to our winters and are short term band-aid to a long-term problem... and sadly, because Rob Ford was an actual human who got torn apart by a pack of rabid socialist wolves on city council and rather than coping in a healthy, fell apart very publicly.

But that's GTA politics, and might have seemed a bit disconnected from Markham (still so strange to hear it called a 'suburb' when it was not so long ago considered a bedroom community and even farmland) except insofar as the transit systems are slightly more integrated than they used to be, so it's easier to get south of Eglinton now if you actually want to go somewhere other than the zoo. It must have seemed a bit strange compared to most of Texas. It certainly was to me when I moved here from the prairies, which probably has much more in common with most of Texas, in 1982.

In any case, all things being equal, you can see why I was eager for you all to take Hillary back, post haste. We have our own problems without her creating more. I do hope you had a chance to check out the Roundhouse brewery while you were here. My Dad's been working on the Rail Museum that shares the Roundhouse building as part of its site. But you sadly missed out on the spring and summer T.O. craft beer festivals... They're a new thing... very good new thing.

Sis