We all know we're living in a desperate time comrades, a time where the dark armies of freedom and capitalism rape and pillage the peaceful peoples of the third world in search of blood, oil and new markets to outsource our phone-sex jobs to. Yes, I know it's horrifying—but not as horrifying as the issue I am about to rub in your face and squeeze guilt with. Comrades, the issue is about exploitation, profits and the power it has over the collective consciousness of the masses we so desperately need in order to achieve the Greater Good™. The issue comrades is none other than...GAME SHOWS (dum, dum, DUM)!

Yes, nothing holds the stench of bourgeoisie decadence or the hatred for peoples of color more than the concept of the game show. Night after night, millions of people line up to stare at their televisions with a microwavable dinner full of trans-fatty death to watch the senseless exploitation of victims -- victims who are too stupid to figure out how to win complicated games like “Deal or No Deal” or “Wheel of Fortune”. It truly is a shame that so many hard working Americans are duped into these game shows because they don't have the means anymore to provide for their families.

It all begins on the street, there we see a family of twenty who are starving to death in a back alley because the phone-sex hotline company packed its bags and shipped overseas to India. There's no work anymore since unemployment is down and the economy is strong. Its here where the fat greedy capitalist emerges from the shadows and swoops down on this poor put upon family, this is where he offers them the chance of a life time! “How would you like to make money!” he grumbles, “Oh yes sir, please help us! We are not unionized and the Democrats haven't taken office yet, we will do anything for money!” Said the poor little father. “Really, anything you say? How's about you play a little game for me, a game where you have to pick briefcases with money in them” sneered the capitalist pig. “Oh yes sir! That sounds really nice if only I understood what you are talking about. You see, I'm too stupid to figure that out.” Replied the poor little father. “Don't worry about it, you just pick a briefcase and if you decide to make the deal you get to keep the money!” explained the capitalist pig. “Oh no sir, I still don't understand, for I am a simple peasant under the heel of your jackboot, but I will do what you say out of fear of losing my life.” Triumphantly declared the poor little father.

So there you have it, the simple peasant goes on this show and wins the meager 750,000$ instead of the million he is promised. Alas his dreams are shattered as he spends the winnings on drugs, hookers and a plasma TV all because he didn't get the million the capitalist pigs swore would be his. His family, for all their worth, are then carted off to one of many facilities operating in the U.S to work as wage slaves manufacturing the little plastic ends on shoe-laces as a payment for the poor fathers debts. . I think you get the message now of how destructive these games are to the self-esteem and aspirations of the toiling masses.

We all know if it weren't for the tax cuts that were thrust upon the American people, the poor little father of twenty wouldn't have to sell out to corporate interest in order to fuel his thirst for drugs and hookers -- no, he would have the government to help provide those most basic of needs and still be able to afford steak every night so his family can eat. So next time you sit down with your family, friends or household appliances -- just remember who is suffering in order for you to be entertained and write a letter to your Congress member urging for the removal of all game shows.

END THE TELEVISED SUFFERING OF POOR PEOPLE, NOW!

Chairman Punchenko!

Are you confessing that you actually watch such decadence?

I have a Party-Approved 20-foot diameter satellite dish that receives 2 channels for 10-20 minutes per day as the satellites pass overhead: Pravda Now! and The Laika The Space Dog Show.

We must immediately raise taxes and install these devices in all homes in AmeriKKa!

This story has brought up so many nostalgic memories of the classy reporting we've seen back in the Motherland, of the suffering of American workers and peasants under to boot of capitalist exploiters (shown on the only two available state channels). They were either direct translations from the New York Times, or documentaries by progressive filmmakers of the Michael Moore variety, or great movies made by Jane Fonda and other progressive artists - such as, They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969).

Here's a real-life game show in which the poverty-stricken proletarians are lured with cash prizes to participate in the deadliest of all games...


They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

Sydney Pollack's dark and impassioned adaptation of Horace McCoy's novel examines the limits of devotion and endurance. The intricately interwoven plot centers on a marathon dance contest that takes place in the 1930s during the Great Depression. The poverty-stricken participants struggle to keep their footing in order to survive the hard times, with hope for the cash prize the sole reason for continuing to dance. The tragic competitors are an effective mirror for the American ideals of the time and the overwhelming feeling of disenchantment. Filled with dramatic tension and moving performances, THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON'T THEY? is harrowing and unforgettable.

Jane Fonda gives a particularly moving performance as Gloria Beatty, a girl bent on self-destruction, and Gig Young gives an Oscar-winning performance as Rocky, the sleazy master of ceremonies who has gathered the contestants together under the pretense of providing an ample cash reward of more than a thousand dollars.

Remember THE GREAT DEPRESSION just as you would remember THE MACACA! It's never going to go away!

Speaks Truth to Chimps most eloquently wrote:Chairman Punchenko!

Are you confessing that you actually watch such decadence?

I have a Party-Approved 20-foot diameter satellite dish that receives 2 channels for 10-20 minutes per day as the satellites pass overhead: Pravda Now! and The Laika The Space Dog Show.

We must immediately raise taxes and install these devices in all homes in AmeriKKa!

Of course I can view such decadence, how else would I be able chastise those who do the same!? I am a Party Chairperson, Dr. Chimps. I am more equal than others mind you, and with the great responsibility that comes with being a Party Chairperson, I'm entitled to certain privileges that would seem "unfair" to others. You have to remember I do it for the People and the Common Good - even when I stuff my coat with large wads of $oft Ca$h – I do it for progress which makes it all the more acceptable.

But don't fret Dr. Chimps, you will still be able to enjoy such quality programming like "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", "Project Runway" and "The Biggest Loser"—
all of which advocate sexual diversity, the war against trans-fatty foods and how to do all the above while looking stylish in a nice pair of khaki pants and a form fitting jacket.

YES, THE MACACA! REMEMBER IT! REMEMBER THE MACACA!

We must start our own egalitarian game show, where the so-called "winnings" of the "victor" are taken from him/her/it and redistributed among the less fortunate game-show contestants.

I agree Dr. P, but we could take it a step further. Imagine a family of capitalist pigs sleeping snug in their decadent beds, dreaming decadent dreams and snoring racial epitaphs when all of a sudden - *BOOM*- the front door is smashed down by the ACLU/NLG and a trio of contestants who are "less fortunate" make their way into the home. The family - startled and scared out their wits -look on in horror as the ACLU/NLG help the contestants frantically raid the home of any valuables before a TV crew that is broadcasting live to a studio audience in L.A. The family stands in shame, stunned and without hope, as all their treasure is given away to a teacher, a student activist and life-long welfare recipient who have all been deemed by the game show's host ( Martin Sheen) as "victims of exploitation" and tonight's contestants. The trio, with their black sacks and ski-mask, continue to pilfer the goods in the allotted twenty minutes that permits them -- it is also a rule that they may call a pawn shop to see what items can be exchanged for ca$h. Back in L.A, the audience of trial-lawyers and other progressive minded peoples cheer on with foam running down their necks as social-justice is finally carried out on the unsuspecting family of capitalist running dogs.

Now that, my dearest friend Dr. Palimpsest, is a game show I would be proud of and would most certainly tune into.

Now that's what I'm talkin' about, imaginative Chairman! I'll help you bankroll the show, if you can get Sheen to sign on as host. Instead of using sacks, how about outfitting each contestant with a grocery store cart. That way we could advertise products on the sides of the carts and make even more $$$ for The People™.

Now, what to call it? Hmm... "Smash & Grab", perhaps. Or how about "Looters Challenge". Or even better: "The Spontaneous Marxist with Martin Sheen". Yes, that's it! "The Spontaneous Marxist with Martin Sheen".

You're a brilliant humyn being, I tip my ushanka to you Dr. P!

I can almost hear those squeeky shopping cart wheels rolling through fine carpeting and ripping it to shreds as the over zealous constestants plow over the family to seize their goods and precious trinkets (which rightfully belong to The People™ of course). Ahh, it brings a tear to my eye to imagine such a sight, it really does.

I think it's been done before. I forget the name of the show but Ray Nagin hosted it. If you get three Whammies (White Heterosexual Adult Males) you lose.

Personally, I lean toward "Catastrophe". It's kind of like "Jeopardy". There's a board with answers on it and you must answer with a question that blames George Bush.

Here's an example:

Contestant: I'll take Education for 300 rubles.

Comrade Alex: The answer is "Declining ACT scores".

Contestant: How does George Bush keep kid's out of college so he can send them to rape and murder in Iraq?

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I can almost hear those squeeky shopping cart wheels rolling through fine carpeting and ripping it to shreds as the over zealous constestants plow over the family to seize their goods and precious trinkets (which rightfully belong to The People™ of course). Ahh, it brings a tear to my eye to imagine such a sight, it really does.

Yes, sapient Chairman; the squeeky wheel, as they say, always gets oiled first. And the shopping carts of The People™ need some serious lubrication. That is, of course, if "shopping carts" means our bank accounts and "lubrication" means cold, hard ca$h!

So which kapitalist pig's house will we target for the pilot of The Spontaneous Marxist with Martin Sheen? So many options. I'm going to suggest Rush "30 mil per annum" Limbaugh.

I don't know Dr. P, he doesn't have a wife or any kids we can watch writhe in pain as their toys, food and other priceless valuables are carted off to the more deserving class.Hmm, but we could hit up his place in a special "Bonus Onus Lightening Loot Round".

We can still have game shows! In the USSR, we had a show called "Wheel of the Politboro". If you won the game, you got two extra ration cards. (Plus the exposure on CCCP TV). If you do that in the US, I am quite sure it would work under the new Soviet administration (When it takes power)

Our new game shows will consist of impossible challenges that cannot be beaten no matter what. The prize will be that there will be no increase in taxes. If volunteers for the shows do not come forward, then they will be brought forward by the KGB/ACLU

Perhaps breaking into Limbaugh's house is not a good idea. He already knows about our plans. He must have an insider in the Politburo - I just heard him on the radio, in his own voice, say that his house and valuables are protected with Laser Shield. I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds as if $$ Halliburton supplied him with secret technology developed for Reagan's Star Wars program. I always knew we had to stop Star Wars, I just didn't know why! Only now I understand that its real danger is not that it will protect us from foreign missiles, but that it will protect capitalist valuables from us!

BAN LASER SHIELD!

RED STAR RADIO ANNOUNCEMENT (draft) To all conscientious workers, peasants, and unwashed toiling intelligentsia! A new spontaneous / mandatory grass roots campaign is on the way! BAN LASER SHIELD! Laser Shield destroys the environment, harms the Ozone Layer, and causes shrinkage in globally warmed polar bears who can't reproduce anymore. Scientist / activist [insert name] saw it with his/her/its own eyes and it's a hideous sight! Ban Laser Shield!

Yes, we must take away their guns, laser shields, home security devices, dogs, moats, draw bridges and all the locks on their doors in order to have the needed access to their valuables! Think about the teacher, the unwashed pudgy student activist and the poor put upon life long welfare recipient, shouldn't we help make the job of pilfering other peoples good's a tad bit easier for them? I surely wouldn't want to enter a home and have to worry about a laser shield or a trigger happy Rush Limbaugh preventing me from walking out alive with all my hard earned loot—would you?

Take up your shovel comrades and follow Lenin onward to the freebies! EVERYONE WILL HAVE A PIECE OF THE PIE...EVEN IF THEIR IS NO PIE TO BEGIN WITH!

Game shows? Contestants? Prizes? Is this related to quota? What page of the 5 year plan is this on? I guess I am truly blessed that the Leaders of the Revolution have taken it upon themsleves to bear the burden of decadence so as to better protect us from the evil exploiters.

I am but a snowflake in the avalanche of Revolutionary Political Progress.

Blessed indeed comrade! Let us handle the day-to-day affairs of taking away from you on behalf of the Common Good while you worry about being able to eat the next night or having the ACLU show up at your doorstep. We do it for you and the children!

--Meowsevich

Comrade Engineerski wrote:I am but a snowflake in the avalanche of Revolutionary Political Progress.

Welcome to the avalanche, Comrade Engineerski! You will be informed when a proper Party-approved contest suitable for your viewing is put together.

And thank you for reminding us about the true reason for the upcoming Holiday Season - the shining avalanche of Revolutionary Progress in which we are but mere snowflakes (except for the members of the Politburo, who are metaphorically portrayed on Holiday Cards as snowmen and snowwomyn .. err.. snowpersons).

Comrades,

I would like to share this very rare photo of Rush Limbaugh's heavily guarded palatial plantation house with you. As you can see it's over fortified and extremely decadent for just one man—which is all the more reason to raid it and fairly re-distribute the goodies! Sadly enough however, the brave comrade who managed to smuggle this evidence out to us was tragically trampled by the tank seen in the photo. Comrade Stogny Baryshnikov will be missed…

Cheers to comrade Baryshnikov! *clink*

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Comrades,

I would like to share this very rare photo of Rush Limbaugh's heavily guarded palatial plantation house with you. As you can see it's over fortified and extremely decadent for just one man—which is all the more reason to raid it and fairly re-distribute the goodies! Sadly enough however, the brave comrade who managed to smuggle this evidence out to us was tragically trampled by the tank seen in the photo. Comrade Stogny Baryshnikov will be missed…

Cheers to comrade Baryshnikov! *clink*

Hey, there is an American flag on that thing. Soviet Soldiers, go and liberate that house from the capitalist running mad dog Rush Linbaugh. Capture him and send him to Siberia, and plant our flag on that building.

Dr. W. S. Palimpsest wrote: Instead of using sacks, how about outfitting each contestant with a grocery store cart.

Shopping carts are so bourgeois. They should smash through the doors of the capitalists driving tractors! Big red tractors! As for where to start? The first house should be $.$. Halliburton's.

Yes! $.$. Halliburton should be the first. He lives with that lovely girl Margaret, doesn't he, who is his niece or something?

As for the tractors, there are several schools of thoughts inside the Party. One is for reinforcing the power and the glory of the proletariate through the crushing magnificence of tractors. The other school of thought is more decadent, but it keeps happy a whole army of useful villagers who view tractors as evil polluting beasts unleashed on the planet by heartless capitalism. They prefer shopping carts so compassionately liberated from Wal-Mart.

So I'd stick with the shopping cart - better known in progressive circles as The Lumpenwagon: People's Housing and Locomotion Unit

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=5

There is no way we could storm Cha-Chings house. One, Her Excellency wouldn't allow it. Two, he would cancel the contracting agreements he has with me...uhh..I mean with the Pentagon. Last but not least, he has a battalion of jack booted Marine thugs guarding his compound and cutting edge laser shields surrounding the entrance to his basement. How could we pull of such a heist? How I ask you!? As for the tractor idea, why don't we just arm the proles with a group of tanks and the careful help of ATF agents?