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The Progressive Anti-Soda League

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Comrades! The great progressive world of next Tuesday is nigh! We must now make the final push so that our goals may be fulfilled. Of course, one of our biggest impediments is "Demon-Rum-Soda." The drinking of root beers is clouding the minds of our revolutionaries and promoting obesity and sloth among our guerrilla warriors. To combat this, I have founded the "Progressive Anti-Saloon -Soda League." I am also glad to inform you that, among others, Mayor Bloomberg is one of our founding members (I will give one Communist Spirit Incentive to the first one to spot him in the photo)!

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I am also proud to announce that I will be running for President on the SodaProhibitionist ticket in the November 2012 election.

JOIN THE CAUSE! VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN!

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Soda KILLS!

Kissing someone who drinks soda is like kissing an aluminum can!

These soda drinkers have no respect for other people - the fizzy sound from their sodas annoys me in restaurants. What's worse, after they drink this foul product, they end up BURPING which causes the emission of toxic carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, increasing global warming and the incidence of John Kerry speeches!

The state must set up soda-free zones! And TAX it to death... raise the price of it from $3 per carton to $30 per carton! The extra money will be used to fight soda-caused diseases and other worthwhile public projects like green energy boondoggles investments.

Now, we need some hard-hitting ANTI-SODA PUBLIC SERVICE ads, for example, showing graphinc pictures of the pancreas of a dead lifetime soda addict. That will increase both public disgust as well as making us feel good about ourselves.

SODA KILLS!

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Opiate, you have a point here. Aside from that very fact being astounding in and of itself, you point out that these soda-guzzling neanderthals often burp after indulging their savage lusts. That, my friends, is a carbon emmision, and thus comes under EPA auspices. I think the EPA should step in to help Mayor Bloomerberg and the PASL (and there's a passle of ladies who know their way around a good set of bloomers) with a 3,537 page set of guidelines and regulations of this most newly-discovered cause of global warming. And taxes. Don't forget the taxes!

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Hmmmmm... BATFES does have a ring to it...

Operation Slurp and Burp... thousands of casks of soda allowed to get into the hands of soda runners...

I agree, we must stamp out this corrupt soda addiction. A clean mouth with healthy teeth is a socialist mouth. Decay is for the bourgeosie

I agree, we must stamp out this corrupt soda addiction. A clean mouth with healthy teeth is a socialist mouth. Decay is for the bourgeosie

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Just think about all of the carbon dioxide gas that will not be escaping from these soda drinks into the skies above Manhattan !
Scientific studies sponsored by the EPA indicate that such progressive measures as Mayor Bloomberg has taken will go far to help save our dying planet from the insidious global warming .......... "climate change" that was wholly instigated by George Bush.

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One need only look at the people who drink soda and order the super-size container at the corporate "fast food" store. They are greedy gluttons, probably fat (or if young, soon to be fat). They haul their fat asses around in cars the size of trucks, which guzzle the precious, diminishing supplies of gasoline while spewing huge amounts of dangerous gasses into the air we all breathe. They drive everywhere, even if it's just a block away, and leave the car running if they have to go inside. When in their giant cars they listen to the radio, and to the lies told by fellow fat-ass soda-slurper Rush Limbaugh. It should be obvious that we need to crack down.

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Is it me or do these look exactly like the feminists of today?

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quack, quack, quack. Make a big noise.

But at the end of the day I see every single one of you at my new speakeasies. Great entertainment and all the supersized Big Gulps you can handle! And don't worry, the police are on my payroll.

Be seeing you tonight at the Halliburton speakeasy.

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$.$. Halliburton wrote:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quack, quack, quack. Make a big noise.

But at the end of the day I see every single one of you at my new speakeasies. Great entertainment and all the supersized Big Gulps you can handle! And don't worry, the police are on my payroll.

Be seeing you tonight at the Halliburton speakeasy.

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Do we need any further proof that rethugs like this have NO
RESPECT whatsoever for the rule of the Party LAW?


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Are the Amerikan Gulags ready?
It won't be long now.


 
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