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The Racism of Hygeine

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After I realized my toothpaste which promised a "whiter" smile was racist, and as another comrade pointed out bleach is also racist, I realized the horrible truth of hygiene.

It's all racist.

Tooth"whitening" toothpaste, bleach that makes whites whiter and keeps colors from fading, all manners of soaps and colognes which lead to inequal body odor and cleanliness, it's all a racist plot! At this very minute we have people walking around... ...in varying degrees of personal cleanliness and odor. Teeth that range from bright white, to stained and falling out. Invariably the wealthy and middle class smell better than the lower classes. A visit to any Wal Mart or homeless shelter will prove that.

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WE MUST CLOSE THE HYGIENE GAP COMRADES! The inequality of hygiene is oppressive and discriminatory. Just imagine an employer giving a job to someone who smells good rather than someone who has chosen to conserve water and precious resources by not showering or removing body hair. IT'S RACIST!

During the Middle Ages, many did not bathe because the Jews did, and we all know the Jews are evil money grubbing racists who wish to destroy Palestine and the peace loving Muslims. MUST WE EMULATE THEIR WAYS TOO?

I call for an end to bathing, washing, and teeth cleaning! That is the only way to ensure that ALL PEOPLE ARE EQUAL in appearance. This inequality between rich and poor, those with homes and those without MUST BE STOPPED AT ONCE! It horrifies me to think of all those poor oppressed proles who are denied their place in society by oppressive individuals who dare waste water on WASHING THEMSELVES! RACISTS!!!!!!!

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Absolutely correct on all points comrade. Michael Moore and Janene Garofalo are already in the vanguard of this movement. Of course our brother hippies long ago reasoned this out. Why even Dear Leader's initials B.O. point the way.

I recall Christopher Hitchens before he betrayed our cause was a slovenly sight to behold. His hair was greasy and uncombed, he had a perpetual 5 o'clock shadow, his clothes looked slept in and he always appeared to suffering from a hangover.

Then the Bush plot of 9/11 occurred and Hitchens changed. Suddenly he started shaving and washing. His hair was combed and he wore clean suits. He even sobered up. It was heartbreaking to behold.

I dare say ACORN should'nt have been so easily deceived by those two FoxNews plants had they just used their noses and sniffed them out.

To quote Mr. Hankie of South Park "Gee, you guys sure smell all sweet and flowery."

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Comrade Colonel, you have raised an important issue; let us consider the not-so-secret language of the dental elite. When they see teeth that are YELLOW, they offer to help you WHITEN them? Why? Is there any reason for this or is it just an expression of their latent RACISM? And, Obama forbid, one has a tooth that is BROWN or BLACK! They immediately demand one submit to them either extracting it or drilling out the "bad" parts! The very concept of tooth diversity inspires these villians to oral violence in order to perserve white power's dominion over the mouths of amerikkans and enforce their antiquated concept of bicuspid segregation!

What's more, this pattern of racist thought and deed is repeatly consistently in every dentist's office one visits all over the country. I suggest that the dental profession is nothing but a front for a thinly-veiled nation-wide racist hate group masquerading as a health-care provider.

The word must be spread to all korrect-thinking peoples everywhere. Micheal Moo Moore must immediately start work on one of his braindead pieces of lefty whacko agitprop famous documentaries to expose this conspiracy of silence and make him another few million bucks so he can continue stuffing his face with cheeseburgers. Amerikka's saddest old sack of useless crap best former president, Jimmy Carter must speak out publicly about this outrage in order to draw attention to himself, pathetic loser that he is educate the public about this evil. And, a full Congressional investigation must be initiated immediately to distract those idiots attention from f*cking up health care and the economy.

Dentists lie, teeth die!

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Now I know why nearly one half of all white Americans voted for Dear Leader. They voted for his teeth.


 
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