Comrades,

Like every other good Prog, I've been anxious to find out why our beloved MTE was denied the Premiereship Presidency.

We've all seen the blame and the finger-pointing: It's James Comey's fault! No, it was a storm in North Carolina! No, it was Anthony Weiner! No, it was the blacks: not enough of them turned out to vote! No, it was the Ku Kux Klan! And so on, right up to today's headline that it's the fault of white women.

Here at the State Science Institute, our computers have recently finished one of our yearly data runs where we alter the temperature records calculate that the current year is, once again, the WARMEST YEAR EVAH!! Watch for it, we'll be releasing that "news" for consumption by the compliant US press very soon now (No, we don't have to wait until the year is over, because we don't use real temperature data anyway. We have "computer models" for that...).

Anyway, instead of watching Internet porn as we usually do between computer runs, this time our highly-dedicated Scientists decided to deep-dive into the statistics left over from the election. And they found the culprit, THE reason that all our hopes went down the drain this year:

Dead voters.

That's right, our detailed, exhaustive analysis reveals that too many Dead Voters stayed home in their coffins this year and didn't come out to vote. If we don't find ways to motivate them better, we shall lose the country very soon.

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Comrades,

Like every other good Prog, I've been anxious to find out why our beloved MTE was denied the Premiereship Presidency.

Dead voters.

That's right, our detailed, exhaustive analysis reveals that too many Dead Voters stayed home in their coffins this year and didn't come out to vote. If we don't find ways to motivate them better, we shall lose the country very soon.

We can't blame him this time!

They stayed in their coffins because our MTE never gave them the attention they deserved, denied they existed, even condemned walking dead Halloween costumes with "I Voted" labels on them. I'd have stayed home too if I was dead.

Comrades,
This is a most interesting analysis you will not see else where. Perhaps the call to action lacked sufficient volume!

GC out.