The Red Hen laid an egg (the story of Baba Yaga)

Baba Yaga, the ugly evil witch of Russian fairy tales, lives in a hut that stands on chicken legs. She lures little children into the hut, seats them on a big shovel, and pushes them into the oven to cook. Good folks who can defend themselves are denied entry. To get inside, one must say, "old little cabin, turn your back to the forest and face me." The chicken legs will move and the hut will turn.

You can defeat Baba Yaga by using her own methods against her. Play dumb and pretend you don't know how to get onto the shovel. When she climbs on it to show you how it's done, shove her into the fire. See training video below.

In a recent update, the hut on chicken legs has laid an egg.






A Trump supporter named Ivan tries to get inside The Red Hen, but faces rejection and trickery. Any similarities with our Ivan the Stakhanovets are purely coincidental.

Full English version: this segment starts at 42:10.


 

Baba Yagá is a witch and her house runs on chicken legs. I wanted to make a graphic that somehow incorporated HilLIARy, but alas, her legs are more like varicose-ridden tree trunks that resemble beer kegs (or the legs of the water-bloated lady corpse in Kubrick's The Shining).

Instead, to honor Comrade Mussorgsky—who composed a piece dedicated to Baba Yagá—I'll just leave this here for you to listen to.


 

Colonel Obyezyana

Instead, to honor Comrade Mussorgsky—who composed a piece dedicated to Baba Yagá, I'll just leave this here for you to listen to.

Comrade Mussorgsky is a Russian hacker who has inserted his music world over. Even Emerson, Lake, and Palmer unwittingly elected to record a whole album of his Pictures at and Exhibition, including this Baba Yaga piece.

Nobody in his/her/its sane mind would have elected to play this music otherwise. Just ask Maxine Waters.


 

Quote:

Nobody in his/her/its sane mind would have elected to play this music otherwise. Just ask Maxine Waters.

The election was hacked by Emerson's Lake of Palmer. But let's get back to the Red Chicken and Baba Yagá, who reminds me of my grandmother except she has more teeth.

My Baba was all gums. She was from the "old country" (although we could never figure out what country that was). And in the kitchen she carried on the old county's revolting traditions. I once followed her around the kitchen with a notepad all morning to record (for posterity) her recipe for Beet Bourguignon. At one point I asked her how much water she put in the pot. She replied. "Four or five mouthfuls every hour." I tossed my notepad in the trash and went out for Chinese.

Similarly, Stephanie W. has spit in the pot at The Red Chicken. Who could possibly eat there now that the owner has shown how spiteful and vengeful she is? Who knows whether they're being fed food or spew? Oh, of course the D.C. Metro Cosmopolitan Kulaks will flock to The Red Chicken to virtue signal show their support. They're used to the flavor of liberal vitriol and bile. But the rest of us should take caution.

As my Baba once said (in very broken English), "Never have an affair with a woman who's cheating on her husband, because if she's peeing in her husband's borshscht now, just think of what she'll put in your borshscht when she's finished with you.
 

Colonel Obyezyana

I once followed her around the kitchen with a notepad all morning to record (for posterity) her recipe for Beet Bourguignon. At one point I asked her how much water she put in the pot. She replied. "Four or five mouthfuls every hour." I tossed my notepad in the trash and went out for Chinese.
Did your babushka cook beet bourguignon with beet vodka sauce? It always made life seem more beautiful in our household, and even the unsweetened coffee afterwards tasted as it was sweet, hot, and made out of real beans.

My other favorites were her beetsteak, beet stroganoff, corned beet, pulled beet, and beet kebabs. They filled me up.
 

 

Strictures at an Exhibition?

Movements:
Promenade -> Perp Walk
No. 1 "The Gnome"
Promenade (2nd) -> Perp Walk
No. 2 "The Old Castle"
Promenade -> Perp Walk
No. 3 "Tuileries (Children's Quarrel after Games)"
No. 4 "Cattle"
Promenade -> Perp Walk
No. 5 "Ballet of Unhatched Chicks" -> "Planned Parenthood"
No. 6 "Samuel Goldenberg and Schmuÿle"
Promenade (5th) -> Perp Walk
No. 7 "Limoges. The Market (The Great News)" -> "The Five-Year Plan"
No. 8 "Catacombs (Roman Tomb)"
No. 9 "The Hut on Hen's Legs (Baba Yaga)" -> "The Red Hen Laid an Egg (Baba Yaga)"
No. 10 "The Bogatyr Gates (In the Capital in Kiev)
 

 

 

Red Square

Did your babushka cook beet bourguignon with beet vodka sauce?

As a matter of fact, Beet Vodka was a mainstay at Baba's, especially when there was nothing to cook, which was often.

When we were children, the flavorless East German hard candies Babushka gave us always smelled like the cheap Beet Vodka that leaked from state-approved bottles to the bottom of her purse. We were happy to eat them anyway, especially in winter, when the aroma of slow-cooking boot leather would pervade her dacha, which put tears in our eyes because it smelled of ammonia and foot sweat our long gone grandfather, whose boots carried him through the Great Patriotic War.

Ah,such memories of happier times. But I wax nostalgic when instead I should be thinking of how The Red Hen disrespected Colonel Sanders. Or Sarah Sanders? It's easy to forget because my wife has just laid out a batch of Beet Jerky and I can't wait to dig in!
 

Red Square

A Trump supporter named Ivan tries to get inside The Red Hen, but faces rejection and trickery. Any similarities with our Ivan the Stakhanovets are purely coincidental.


Ah, yes... the old MAGA vs Yaga storyline... never fails to bring a smile to the faces of the Children.™

And as an aside, our young hero of the story is in fact a rather dashing Comrade. Probably exceeds his quota for shoveling coal by day, and makes exemplary grades in tractor maintenance classes at night school...
 

Ivan the Stakhanovets

our young hero of the story is in fact a rather dashing Comrade. Probably exceeds his quota for shoveling coal by day, and makes exemplary grades in tractor maintenance classes at night school...
I thought you would also mention the excessive eyeliner, mascara, and blue eyeshadow on the dashing Comrade Ivan, which today is requirement in progressive tractor maintenance.

Please to check if all your under-mechanics in Tractor Barn #2 dutifully follow his example. Report by tomorrow morning as usual.