The Twelve Days of ObamaCare



(A non-sectarian holiday carol.)
On the first day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
A website that crashed constantly!
On the second day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the third day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the fourth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the fifth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Five cancelled policies!
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the sixth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the seventh day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the eighth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the ninth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Nine journ0lists bloviating,
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the tenth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Ten dems a-dodging,
Nine journ0lists bloviating,
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the eleventh day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Eleven million regulations,
Ten dem pols a-dodging,
Nine journ0lists a-bloviating,
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!
On the twelfth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Twelve thousand excuses,
Eleven million regulations,
Ten dems a-dodging,
Nine journ0lists bloviating,
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!



And catchy!


Imagine the songs about the actual state of medicine on future Christmases. Thanks to ObamaCare we're entering a golden age of bureaucratic invention and innovation.









Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Your apparent mental disorders -- if left untreated -- may prove...ahem..."terminal."
I have referred your case to an Affordable Heathcare Act Cost Control Advisory Panel. They will consider your potential
Should you wish to forestall the painful -- if not predictable -- outcome, you are welcome to just take the Obama Blue Pill. These are available free of charge at healthcare.gov. By virtue of such a patriotic, voluntary act, you will received the Order of Lenin for your gallantry and an immediate promotion to Necroproxy/Inert Agri-Composting Specialist (First Class).
The freedom to chose is entirely yours.



He's making a list and checking it twice; gonna find out who's naughty and nice.


Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Your apparent mental disorders -- if left untreated -- may prove...ahem..."terminal."Comrade, in case you haven't noticed, I am a TV set... the Party has tried to "pull the plug" on me numerous times but in the end, they come back to me on their hands and knees. The world simply cannot live without my putrid, lubricious, vapid drivel, especially around election time.




Captain Craptek
I like The Honeymooners, Comrade Opiate. Are they on tonight? Huh?Comrade, you ought to know by now.... Michelle and Barack are on every night.



On the 12 th day of O-Care, The Leader gave to me
12 House Reps bailing
11 Thousand pages
10 Dems a dodging
9 Phone reps dith'ring
8 Ratings tanking
7 Sebel'us spinnings
6 Thieves a preying
5 Canceled Plans!!
4 zero four
3 blame shifts
2 deadlines missed
And a website crashing constantly

Thank you for upstaging Kwanza. And thanks again for composing lyrics which scan so poorly they cannot be sung. While the need for divertisement is great, combining the current antics of the all the beltway despots who afflict us can't be overshadowed by some such pleasant filk as "We Three Kings of Orient are lighting up a loaded cigar," no smoking ordinances not withstanding. My mate who works for the NHS in the UK has offered me his usual holiday solace. Keep Calm. And Drink Heavily.

