The Twelve Days of ObamaCare

On the first day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
A website that crashed constantly!

On the second day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the third day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the fourth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the fifth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Five cancelled policies!
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the sixth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the seventh day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the eighth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the ninth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Nine journ0lists bloviating,
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the tenth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Ten dems a-dodging,
Nine journ0lists bloviating,
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the eleventh day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Eleven million regulations,
Ten dem pols a-dodging,
Nine journ0lists a-bloviating,
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!

On the twelfth day of ObamaCare, Dear Leader gave to me
Twelve thousand excuses,
Eleven million regulations,
Ten dems a-dodging,
Nine journ0lists bloviating,
Eight phone reps dithering,
Seven scammers to hack me,
Six unneeded coverages,
Five cancelled policies,
Four times the deductible,
Three times the premium,
Two weeks of typing and
A website that crashed constantly!


 

Good Lenin have mercy, Comrade! A truly glorious homage to the future of medical care in the USSA!

And catchy!
 

The best is yet to come!

Imagine the songs about the actual state of medicine on future Christmases. Thanks to ObamaCare we're entering a golden age of bureaucratic invention and innovation.
 

I thank you Comrade Opitate for giving us a start, but it might seem to me, if I ever thought for myself, that "Days" is far too short a time frame in a title for a non-sectarian holiday carol touting the wonders of The 0ne's Legacy-Signature-Defining-Did-It-Himself-without-Nancy-from-Behind-Closed-Doors-On-The-Floor-Doggy-Style Legislation™. This will be a thousand year reich "experiment" in redistribution and songs should be sung as such. Besides, with The 0ne™ in charge, every day is a non-sectarian holiday! (unless you are a musloonatic, in which case, 0'celebrations can be sectarian). All we need are 364,498 more verses!
 

Maobama just informed me this : "You didn't write that ditty!"
 

 

 

A most equal & comprehensive posting Comrade Opiate
 

Komrade Opiate.... It would appear by your rather impudent carol that you are ungrateful for the undeserved beneficence of our Dear Reader (AP&PBUH). Your are manifesting signs of several chronic mental maladies.

Your apparent mental disorders -- if left untreated -- may prove...ahem..."terminal."

I have referred your case to an Affordable Heathcare Act Cost Control Advisory Panel. They will consider your potential output for the collective quality of life to see if the "painfully" expensive treatments are warranted or if you should receive "end-of-life counseling" followed up with a promotion to Necroproxy/Inert Agri-Composting Specialist (Second Class).

Should you wish to forestall the painful -- if not predictable -- outcome, you are welcome to just take the Obama Blue Pill. These are available free of charge at healthcare.gov. By virtue of such a patriotic, voluntary act, you will received the Order of Lenin for your gallantry and an immediate promotion to Necroproxy/Inert Agri-Composting Specialist (First Class).

The freedom to chose is entirely yours.
 

By popular demand, this thread has been promoted to the Mother Page. I just added some artwork to the lead story. Here's a simpler version.



He's making a list and checking it twice; gonna find out who's naughty and nice.
 

Raum Emmanual Goldstein

Your apparent mental disorders -- if left untreated -- may prove...ahem..."terminal."


Comrade, in case you haven't noticed, I am a TV set... the Party has tried to "pull the plug" on me numerous times but in the end, they come back to me on their hands and knees. The world simply cannot live without my putrid, lubricious, vapid drivel, especially around election time.
 

I like The Honeymooners, Comrade Opiate. Are they on tonight? Huh?
 

Captain Craptek

I like The Honeymooners, Comrade Opiate. Are they on tonight? Huh?

Comrade, you ought to know by now.... Michelle and Barack are on every night.
 

 

Update on The Twelve Days of Obamacare, (also is making easier for comrades to sing during Marxmas beet soup and frozen rat-meat feast)

On the 12 th day of O-Care, The Leader gave to me

12 House Reps bailing
11 Thousand pages
10 Dems a dodging
9 Phone reps dith'ring
8 Ratings tanking
7 Sebel'us spinnings
6 Thieves a preying
5 Canceled Plans!!
4 zero four
3 blame shifts
2 deadlines missed
And a website crashing constantly
 

Dear Comrade Opiate
Thank you for upstaging Kwanza. And thanks again for composing lyrics which scan so poorly they cannot be sung. While the need for divertisement is great, combining the current antics of the all the beltway despots who afflict us can't be overshadowed by some such pleasant filk as "We Three Kings of Orient are lighting up a loaded cigar," no smoking ordinances not withstanding. My mate who works for the NHS in the UK has offered me his usual holiday solace. Keep Calm. And Drink Heavily.
 

The Looking Spoon has its own take on Barack Obama's 12 Days of Christmas: