Glorious news from the People's Democratic Socialist Republic of New York!

The Children(TM) are being thought of in ways never before thought possible. Citywide standard tests in schools are being censored dumbed down reworked to be sensitive to Diverse Needs(TM).

No longer will a Christian student have to be horrified by the pagan implications of Halloween, nor will the Jehovah's Witnesses be forced to endure mention of birthdays and holidays.

Children who come from families who lack private swimming pools, or computers in the home will not have to be reminded that such exist elsewhere. Indeed, this is a glorious mandate for Hope and Change(TM) that ensures that no child is exposed to anything at all that may remind them that life outside their classroom is different for different people.

Proof that not all Diversity(TM) is good when it might offend others, or show different economic groups.


<prog off>
Gah. I wish I could make this up Comrades. Sickening.

I didn't see "sex" or anything sex-related mentioned in that article, so I assume it's still okay to let kids hear about condoms and fisting and masturbation, etc.

My only concern about that is that the mention of "sex" might be traumatic to anyone who isn't getting any.

And what about "penis"? Consider the feelings of half the population who don't have one.

Or would that also fall under "sex"?

Does this mean that Dick and Jane will have to euthanize Spot, because not every household has a pet dog? Will "Heather Has Two Mommies" also be discarded, because some children will be upset that they only have one?

Commissarka Pinkie, it all depends upon what the meaning of the word "sex" is.

For obvious reasons, there will be no mention of what was formerly known as "normal" male/female sex, but Lesbian sex, Gay sex, Transgendered sex, Trans-sexual sex, Transmogrified sex, Undecided Gender sex, and, of course, Bestiality will still be discussed openly in class, in a positive, encouraging atmosphere. In addition, in New York delivery rooms each baby born will witness a demonstration of how to put a condom on a banana immediately after being born. There's really no such thing as "too young" for such things, as we all know.

What about terms like "Global Warming" and "rising seas" along with references to tornados and hurricanes and tsunamis and flash floods and earthquakes? Don't kids find those things scary?

Kids would rather be scared out of their wits than have to hear one of their classmates lives in a home with a swimming pool.

Then again, maybe it's the pool-owning parents who don't want the fact broadcast in school. Anyone who's ever owned a pool knows why.

But I thought knowing about other beliefs and cultures was all part of the wonderful multicolored mosaic that makes up our multi-cultural culture. I thought that was good so that we all coexist. Now I don't know what to think!

Please, someone! Tell me what to think!

This is all very confusing.

Margaret wrote:But I thought knowing about other beliefs and cultures was all part of the wonderful multicolored mosaic that makes up our multi-cultural culture. I thought that was good so that we all coexist. Now I don't know what to think!

Please, someone! Tell me what to think!

This is all very confusing.

Alert!!!

Comrade Attempting Thought

ThePeoplesComrade wrote:

Margaret wrote:But I thought knowing about other beliefs and cultures was all part of the wonderful multicolored mosaic that makes up our multi-cultural culture. I thought that was good so that we all coexist. Now I don't know what to think!

Please, someone! Tell me what to think!

This is all very confusing.

Alert!!!

Comrade Attempting Thought

I denounce myself as well. I ALMOST—mind you—wondered about the things that the Party is supposed to make Children™ feel bad about. Shouldn't they be taught to feel guilt for their carbon production? And fear of/hatred for enemies of the Party? And the subsequent dependency on the Party's protection that comes as a result of the knowledge of the threat that Rethuglikkkans pose? How do we teach children to hate blindly and then properly direct their blind hatred if we don't give them a target? We'd have to allow them to become aware that there are other children who own their own swimming pools; only then can we instill in them a right and proper hatred for those 1%-er pool owning kkkapitalist pig-dog children. Furthermo—[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img] I can't even keep doing this. It is so illogical and self-contradictory that I cannot comprehend anyone possessing the ability to assemble the words to express this idea in its entirety.

Comrade Pony, it's best that the Party merely instill a deeply rooted and all-encompassing [highlight=#ffffff]HATE [/highlight]in The Children™ and then program them so that this intrinsically held hatred can be flicked on and off with the switch of the media and pointed in whichever direction the situation requires.

Place hate here:


Like this decadent swimming pool.


Or this offensive birthday celebration.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Comrade Pony, it's best that the Party merely instill a deeply rooted and all-encompassing [highlight=#ffffff]HATE [/highlight]in The Children™ and then program them so that this intrinsically held hatred can be flicked on and off with the switch of the media and pointed in whichever direction the situation requires.

Ah, now it all makes "sense". Especially with the assistance of Comrade PeoplesComrade's most equal visual demonstration.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Glorious news from the People's Democratic Socialist Republic of New York! The Children(TM) are being thought of in ways never before thought possible. Citywide standard tests in schools are being censored dumbed down reworked to be sensitive to Diverse Needs(TM). No longer will a Christian student have to be horrified by the pagan implications of Halloween, nor will the Jehovah's Witnesses be forced to endure mention of birthdays and holidays. Children who come from families who lack private swimming pools, or computers in the home will not have to be reminded that such exist elsewhere. Indeed, this is a glorious mandate for Hope and Change(TM) that ensures that no child is exposed to anything at all that may remind them that life outside their classroom is different for different people. Proof that not all Diversity(TM) is good when it might offend others, or show different economic groups.

<prog off> Gah. I wish I could make this up Comrades. Sickening.

A-Ten-Hut!

Fall in line pinkos.

Seems like one of you Cube regulars got loose and was picked up by the authorities in Canada. Clearly this useful idiot was a given such an education as you describe in Canada. So seems Canada has already "beat you to the punch" and already prepared for the Glorious World of Next Tuesday ™

What say you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqymcJR ... r_embedded

If Dear Leader had a son...

Sgt. NeoTroll wrote: A-Ten-Hut!

Fall in line pinkos.

Seems like one of you Cube regulars got loose and was picked up by the authorities in Canada. Clearly this useful idiot was a given such an education as you describe in Canada. So seems Canada has already "beat you to the punch" and already prepared for the Glorious World of Next Tuesday ™

What say you?

Here Here you Reich Wing War Mongering Jarhead ™ , perhaps said Komrade just has to have his Vodka rations reduced. Maybe we just send him to Gitmo to sing for the mooslim prisoners?

Better yet maybe we could send him to your boot camp? Hehehehehehe

No digressions, comrades! Be focused and stay proactive in solving the sameness/diversity dilemma using the only logical tool that is Party-approved and authorized!

Red Square wrote:No digressions, comrades! Be focused and stay proactive in solving the sameness/diversity dilemma using the only logical tool that is Party-approved and authorized!

The children's reward for solving of the cube!!! Diversity training works!

If The Children™ have knowledge of swimming pools, big screen TVs, SUVs, etc. they may be compelled to start businesses and exploit their fellow children (as well as Mother Gaia) and not wish to be good prols and work in Union Chevy Volt factory or become ACLU lawyers. This would be a bad thing, comrades!