Comrades, another CIA doc dump brings us another sketchy story of U.S. resources being wasted on ridiculous collateral-intelligence analysis of no value.


The topic is a 1989 (or 1990) encounter between a squad of Soviet anti-aircraft soldiers (who were probably tripping on ergot and alcohol) and a UFO (probably a Soviet AA searchlight crew). The claim is that the soldiers spotted a UFO near their Siberian base and shot it down, prompting the pissed-off aliens to retaliate by killing 23 out of 25 soldiers (two survived).
 
This information came from a KGB document released to the public during the Gorbachev Glastnost era. Shortly afterward, the story was published in 1990 by Canadian and Ukrainian supermarket press outlets. From there, the CIA distilled the story down to an unclassified report (probably to amuse other members of the intel community much as we share memes today). 


So this absurd story, which includes angry space aliens using a blinding light to turn soldiers into limestone “poles,” has been floating around for over three decades yet has only become “viral” on the internet since the CIA document dump. 
 
Why the delay? It could be that no self-respecting Western wire-service would bother carrying a story from the sensationalist supermarket press—at least not in 1990—but we live in different times now. UFOs are getting a lot of attention and the internet “citizen press” can turn anything—even a purple-haired geek setting farts on fire—into a viral overnight sensation.
 
Incidentally, the petrified remains of five of the dead Soviet soldiers have only recently been positively identified and their photos have been released to the public:

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

I have no knowledge of strong feelings about the Soviet / UFO event.  It could probably have been settled drunkenly amicably if the Peoples Air Defense Forces would have shared their bread smeared with boot polish with the Space Aliens.  (I have witnessed Post-Soviet troops enjoy that delicacy before passing out during a flight on an AN-12.  

In 1989 I had an encounter with Soviet Naval Forces.  It made the nightly news in the USSA at the time.  Great fun was had by all.  I don’t know if the equipment operators on the vessel in question celebrated with some shoe polish smeared on bread, but they probably should have.  I didn’t fare so well.  You put on the flight bag, you takes your chances.  When The Wall™ fell, some of the helpful and friendly folks who went to pillage the open record repositories sent me redacted copies of the Soviet side of the story.  No surprises, but an interesting read.

Thanks for the uncomfortable walk down memory lane,

Red Salmon

Red Salmon wrote: ↑

4/17/2025, 11:59 am

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

I have no knowledge of strong feelings about the Soviet / UFO event.  It could probably have been settled drunkenly amicably if the Peoples Air Defense Forces would have shared their bread smeared with boot polish with the Space Aliens.  (I have witnessed Post-Soviet troops enjoy that delicacy before passing out during a flight on an AN-12.  

In 1989 I had an encounter with Soviet Naval Forces.  It made the nightly news in the USSA at the time.  Great fun was had by all.  I don’t know if the equipment operators on the vessel in question celebrated with some shoe polish smeared on bread, but they probably should have.  I didn’t fare so well.  You put on the flight bag, you takes your chances.  When The Wall™ fell, some of the helpful and friendly folks who went to pillage the open record repositories sent me redacted copies of the Soviet side of the story.  No surprises, but an interesting read.

Thanks for the uncomfortable walk down memory lane,

Red Salmon

Black or brown shoe polish?
(sounds like they didn't know shit from Shinola)
 

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

The troops I observed were wearing black boots.  My Russian aircrew counterpart accepted the boot polish on bread as a normal part of airlifting troops.  I think people can be acclimatized to anything.  

Red Salmon

Red Salmon wrote: ↑

4/18/2025, 4:11 pm

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

The troops I observed were wearing black boots.  My Russian aircrew counterpart accepted the boot polish on bread as a normal part of airlifting troops.  I think people can be acclimatized to anything.  

Red Salmon

Guess it's the price they pay for using up their ration cards on booze.
 

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

The Russian Loadmaster explained that even their Air Force frowned on blatant alcohol consumption (in liquid form).  The troops would not be denied their buzz and opportunity to pass out.  So they resort to the tried and true wino back stop, Sterno.  Or their boot polish.  Same difference in this case.  Alcoholism is such a beautiful and glamorous thing!

Red Salmon

Red Salmon wrote: ↑

4/18/2025, 6:29 pm

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

The Russian Loadmaster explained that even their Air Force frowned on blatant alcohol consumption (in liquid form).  The troops would not be denied their buzz and opportunity to pass out.  So they resort to the tried and true wino back stop, Sterno.  Or their boot polish.  Same difference in this case.  Alcoholism is such a beautiful and glamorous thing!

Red Salmon

Well, since bread contains yeast and shoe polish contains alcohol, I suppose it's one way to "rise and shine."
 

Photographic evidence is easy to find, if you know where to look...