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ATTENTION PARENTS:

As a Muslim immigrant, are you concerned that your impressionable sons will be influenced by the debauchery of American culture? Have no fear! Send them to Uncle Asaad's Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center! You may have heard of our most notable graduate: Chattanooga attacker, Muhammad Youssef Abdulazeez! Of whom the Associated Press discreetly said:

Abdulazeez spent several months in Jordan last year [with his maternal Uncle Asaad Ibrahim Abdulazeez Haj Ali] under a mutual agreement with his parents to help him get away from drugs, alcohol and a group of friends his relatives considered a bad influence, according to a person close to his family.

Snugly nestled in the mountains overlooking the bustling capital city of Amman in the Kingdom of Jordan, Uncle Assad's facilities are ready to cleanse the minds of your wayward sons of their Western ways. Just a grenade's throw from the West Bank in Israel, your son can learn what a devout follower of our faith can accomplish, with the proper guidance.

There is no reason your son has to become an average overweight American. Don't let his loser friends influence him to become an infidel like them. He can do great things to advance the faith (wink, wink)! He may become a martyr, radical mullah, imam, or perhaps even the leader of a terror organization! (Results may vary, some restrictions may apply)

So send your troubled son to Uncle Asaad's to give him a chance at glory today!

This is clearly the most effective way of dealing with an errant son.

If it wasn't for Uncle Assad's, this troubled young man would have been dead from a drug overdose or drunk driving accident, some years ago.

Uncle Assad's was responsible for a remarkable turn around in this young man.

It's a result that few ever dare to dream about.

[color=#0000ff]Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt[/color] gave a great testimonial when he wrote:This is clearly the most effective way of dealing with an errant son.

If it wasn't for Uncle Assad's, this troubled young man would have been dead from a drug overdose or drunk driving accident, some years ago.

Uncle Assad's was responsible for a remarkable turn around in this young man.

It's a result that few ever dare to dream about.

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[/highlight]Indeed comrade, you can take the jihadi out of the Great Satan ™ , but Uncle Asaad ensures that the wayward jihadi receives his seventy-two virgins, by taking a handful of infidels with him.