In a last ditch effort to get Gitmo detainees to end their hunger strike in response to eating infidel cuisine, the US has decided to feed them their Koran to keep them from starving to death and giving yet another impetus for the Muslim world to hate America.

A Berkley-trained lawyer representing the Gitmo detainees has made it clear at a news conference today, that "The US will not succeed against another great Muslim blitzkrieg. Those Muslims know how to stick it in our asses! You show them peace and conciliation, they will start an intifadah. Show them disengagement and withdraw, they will give thanks to the terrorists that ostracized their society and ruined their communities. Show them democracy, they will elect islamofashionists. Give them weaponry to repel their Soviet invaders, they turn and want to attack us with the very same weapons. Give them aid and a helping hand, they will have marauding demonstrations declaring death to America, burning our flags and embassies. Offer them commerce and free trade, and in turn they will fund terrorist squads to kill us. Open our borders to adopt their oppressed in our free society, and they will conspire to attack our civilians and demand sharia law for their unassimilated communities. Depose a genocidal Muslim maniac responsible for killing more Muslims than anyone in history, and to thank us they will kill and maim our troops and waste our treasure. Give them legitimacy in the global arena, and they will take hostages to thank us with detached heads in hand for a limitless promotion to our mouthwatering free press. Show them the gift of free speech so they can threaten to kill us for practicing ours. Give them a pound of flesh and they will surely cut off our hand with a money back guarantee! What brilliant strategic thinking by them islamofashionists, I hope they keep it up and lord knows that the DNC needs to a be a hell of a lot more up front and center in helping the islamofashioning cause! Right now the DNC has been just using threatening and encouraging language, they need start backing it up with some action!"

When asked what this Gitmo lawyer thought America should do to end this string of Muslim foreign policy successes, he exclaimed, "America needs to accept monitoring by independent organizations and adhere to the Geneva convention to the fullest. In addition, we must impeach George W. Bush and have him surrender under his own recognizance to the world court, accept UN sanctions for atrocities committed against Muslims, and end the outrageous wiretaps and the continued unlawful interment of these courageous freedom fighters here at Gitmo!"

I wonder if they used the same one they flushed in the toilet....

Unless these koran pages are provided with proper condiments and a vegetable, this is a war-crime and a violation of human rights.......

The people need to wake up! Does anyone know how many trees are murdered to make one Quran? We must take to the streets at once and stop this! How many trees need to die Mr. Bush?

The Koran is a little hard to swallow, both physically and metaphorically, don't you think? But there will be people who still will get bent out of shape for all this. Where is the tolerance that the People always have? Let the purges begin.

Muslims don't hate anyone. They are believers of Islam and feel only tolerance towards all people and only engage in violence when oppressed. You are falling for the lies spread by jews. You americans are being used by them and are dying for them. Instead of accepting the truth you insult us with this stupidity and wage war against us. We love all the prophets(peace be upon them) yet you display a mockery of the Greatest Prophet(peace be upon Him). This is evil and unless you accept Islam you will suffer in hell and face humiliation on earth. End your support of the terrorist state of isreal and end your oppression of us in OUR LANDS!

Here's a fun fact: The so called "Prophet", Mohammad's last wife was 9 years old when he married her, but he had been having an affair with her since she was 5.

-Kommissar Betty