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Vegans Walk Cabbages to Cure Depression

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A new trend has reportedly emerged where young vegan adults, instead of walking a pet such as a cat or a dog, they take cabbages for walks on a leash.

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The new cabbage-walking trend has turned a few heads as well as capturing the attention of international outlets.

Spanish Dog Lover website Lomunidad found the practice rather amusing, but signaled, according to psychiatrist Wen Chao, that the trend may carry health benefits for those involved.

Chao said, “It's a wonderful anti-stress therapy, given that walking cabbages over dogs is a win-win.”

He continued, “The idea is simple: you feel as lonely and as simple as a cabbage, so you begin to act like one and befriend one. And in that acceptance comes change.”

A vegan student said, “It's a way by which depression and loneliness can be escaped; I feel free, I feel unchained–going for a walk with [the cabbage] makes me feel fully recharged.”

Another student added, “If the cabbage arrives home in good condition, I just wash it off and serve it for dinner–we're left wanting more!”

A third student, seventeen-year-old Lui Ja Chen said, “When I see another cabbage walker, it's easy to strike up a conversation. Cabbages are better than dogs as they don't bark or start fights with the other vegetables.”

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Oh the pity of it for the poor cabbages. "Cabbages were born free and everywhere they are on leashes...."

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RedDiaperette wrote:Oh the pity of it for the poor cabbages. "Cabbages were born free and everywhere they are on leashes...."

To which cabbages do you refer, Red Diaperette? The lonely two legged cabbages or those torn leafed cabbages? Leashes everywhere.

Plus, it just makes the mythical horned rodent want to cry watching these lonely cabbages and their inefficient method to make coleslaw. Just too much tragedy and loss for the mythical horned rodent to contemplate right now.

'pelipsky is just goin' to hang out with these pet rocks out here in Texazistan for awhile.

Jackalopelipsky
#BR 549

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Vegans walk their cabbage - just like normal people walk their dogs.

Because normal people always walk their pets before they eat them.

Sick bastards.

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Lettuce hope they relish this. I love it from my head to-ma-toes.

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Most Exaltedly Equal Red Square,

Perhaps our Komrads in the Workers Paradise of Venezuela walked their pets before they ate them? Of course that was long ago and the Current Truth ™ may have altered by now.

I have to wonder about someone that would eat something dragged on the ground. Especially if the dogs had been there first.

Nauseated by this Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

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How can vegans drink water? It's the fish's house, you sick bastard!

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Are those free-range cabbages, or are they grown in those inhumane cabbage farms where they are just bred until they can't reproduce anymore and are then killed en masse and their carcasses sold by the truckload to "big vegetable" companies to make sauerkraut?

I denounce this vegan abuse of oppressed cabbages!

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They eat plants because they hate them. Haters!

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There's a lot of cabbages that need to be rescued so I hope those are rescued cabbages.

"Who rescued who?"

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And what of the tiny cabbage sprouts ripped from their parent cabbages and placed in cages?

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Brussel sprouts are the VEAL of vegan opression!

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Rest assured, I do know that brussel sprouts are related to the broccoli family, and not cabbages, but as Speaker Nanski teaches us , let's not let facts cloud the issue we are discussing.

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Brussel sprouts are the VEAL of vegan opression!

Brussels sprouts! You better watch it, buddy. They're very touchy about that.

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Red Square wrote:How can vegans drink water? It's the fish's house, you sick bastard!



Boss, I stopped drinking water after my enlistment as a Submariner. I daily pumped sanitary tanks into the oceans. Drink distilled spirits.


Brigadier General Jack D Ripper.png

General Jack D. Ripper : Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?

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Antonio Salazarinski wrote:Good thing they didn't choose tomatoes!


[PROG OFF]

Watching this reminded me of "The Stuff". It's a masterpiece of cheesy, corny-yet-creepy B-Movie horror.



Watching it, I'm reminded of Facebook or Twitter. People think they're so good, yet they ruin lives.

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Grannie Jackalopelipsky told 'pelipsky's mother, that she was found in the garden under a cabbage leaf and Grannie brought her home to join the family.

The anxiety young Mama Jackalopelipsky felt when wondering what would have happened to her had Grannie Jackalopelipsky not found her must be what happened to these lonely, self-identifying cabbages.

No kind cabbage tending adult toiling in The People's Mr. McGregor's Cabbage Patch, brought these Cabbage Patch Kids home to become part of a nurturing family.

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What about potatoes, for which the slang term is "taters"? Most women say "too many carbs."


        Mystery item No. 1


--KOOK


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Like I said, a vegetable can be not just a great pet, but also a great girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, as Kook might argue.

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Let's go baroquebe with people vegetables, because you know, all comrades should have had a V-8.

History is repeating itself through art.


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jackalopelipsky wrote:Let's go baroquebe with people vegetables, because you know, [highlight=#ffff00]all comrades should have had a V-8.
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History is repeating itself through art.


Ist all vell and gut, but the State Manufacturing Barn only pays me enough to afford a straight 4!

And Lenin help me when the Politburo decides to ban gas-o-line and mandate the use of expensive elektro-batteriya-teknik cars.

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'Pelipsky - here's a non-vegan version of the same portrait. All the meat you can eat.

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In the immortal words of George Harrison:

You know that what you eat you are
But what is sweet now, turns so sour
We all know Ob-La-Di-Bla-Da
But can you show me, where you are?



And if you're puzzled by the meaning of this song, like I had been until today, here's a literally one-minute video explaning it.


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Most excellent Valentine Box of goodies collection of art, Red Square.

The People's Cabbage Patch is very free range and inclusive.

Plus check out this where Ukrainian collusion is right there on the banner wall.

And Brett Baier is a human Cabbage Patch doll.
Coincidence?? 'pelipsky's mythical horned rodent mind doesn't think so either.

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forelock tug,
'pelipsky

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
jackalopelipsky wrote:Let's go baroquebe with people vegetables, because you know, [highlight=#ffff00]all comrades should have had a V-8.
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History is repeating itself through art.


Ist all vell and gut, but the State Manufacturing Barn only pays me enough to afford a straight 4!

And Lenin help me when the Politburo decides to ban gas-o-line and mandate the use of expensive elektro-batteriya-teknik cars.

Obviously Trump's fault, entirely, Comrade Stierlitz. If not for that orange dictator, the gub'ment would have supplied you with a full V-8 just like the Legislatively Elites get us to supply their V-8 chauffeured cars n' Escapades.

V-8's in every Comrades driveway is a human right!

Mustang Stierlitz...'pelipsky's heard 'boutchew..ride, Stierlitz, ride.



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Bernie's recent rally in Nevada was interrupted by topless women protesters who agitated against the dairy industry and had "LET DAIRY DIE" written over their breasts.

I'll go along with this on condition they promise to visit me every breakfast and let me squeeze their mammaries over my cup of coffee.


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Red Square wrote:Bernie's recent rally in Nevada was interrupted by topless women protesters who agitated against the dairy industry and had "LET DAIRY DIE" written over their breasts.

I'll go along with this on condition they promise to visit me every breakfast and let me squeeze their mammaries over my cup of coffee.

Was Comrade Joker there, too?


 
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