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Venezuelan Army Prevents Kulak Swine from Hoarding TP

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Comrades!

A great victory has been won against capitalism as Venezuelan Vice-President Jorge Arreaza has ordered the government occupation of the Manpa toilet paper plant to ensure fair and equal distribution of toilet paper to the Proletariat.

In recent years Venezuela has faced a shortage of consumer goods such as milk and toilet paper due tosocialist policies that are anathema to a healthy economy capitalists that are hoarding the People's Goods for themselves. Fortunately, these criminals will soon have to learn the Sheryl Crow Method of Wiping as the State is ramping up its efforts to ensure nobody has an extra roll or two in their linen closet.

On Thursday, Arreaza said: "The ... People's Defense from the Economy will not allow hoarding or failures in the production and distribution of essential commodities..."

Comrades, I can only dream of the day Dear Leader implements the same policies that have lead Venezuela up the Collectivist Sh*t Creek. FORWARD.

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The Peoples Factory Militia has most of the last roll in the country under guard![attachment=0]cat-toilet-paper.jpg[/attachment]However some squares are still unaccounted for ...[attachment=1]squirrelpaper.jpg[/attachment]

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Isn't it marvelous, Comrades ...... how socialist enlightenment can transform a country ?

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There's still plenty of soap, right? To save the precious rain forests, just have the people wipe themselves with their hands and then wash their hands. Problem solved.

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Comrade Vice-President Jorge Arreaza is also as wise as dear leader, is he not? Capitalists are wasteful, greedy urchins who do not know the value of a square. Look at the waste I found rightin..... outside the People's Gulag:

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Comrade Fraulein, I expect the perpetrator of that tree paperpetration will soon be dangling from one of those limbs!

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If the government can go paperless, so can the citizenry.

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Dedhedvedev wrote:There's still plenty of soap, right? To save the precious rain forests, just have the people wipe themselves with their hands and then wash their hands. Problem solved.
Even better, Koran says to use stones to wipe and sand to clean hand. (Only left hand may be used.) This also saves precious water.

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Speaking of the koran........... [album]Image [/album]

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RedDiaperette wrote:
Dedhedvedev wrote:There's still plenty of soap, right? To save the precious rain forests, just have the people wipe themselves with their hands and then wash their hands. Problem solved.
Even better, Koran says to use stones to wipe and sand to clean hand. (Only left hand may be used.) This also saves precious water.
Hmm...so it does matter with what hand I absterge my podex. Thank Allah I'm left-handed, but what happens to those who are sinistrally challenged?

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Dedhedvedev wrote:
RedDiaperette wrote:
Dedhedvedev wrote:There's still plenty of soap, right? To save the precious rain forests, just have the people wipe themselves with their hands and then wash their hands. Problem solved.
Even better, Koran says to use stones to wipe and sand to clean hand. (Only left hand may be used.) This also saves precious water.
Hmm...so it does matter with what hand I absterge my podex. Thank Allah I'm left-handed, but what happens to those who are sinistrally challenged?
Remember what they have told you in school? ... Do it over and over until you get it right left korrekt. (Or at least clean.) Sinistrally challenged male-gender-identified creatures, however, should be sure to use only smooth stones. Pointy stones might slip and injure ... stones.

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Perhaps as a goodwill mission we could send some of Dear Leader's preferred brand...

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The would be NO shortage of wiping materials if comrades would make use of what Marx gave us - leaves!

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Or confiscate all copies of (ptui) Constitution and send to peasants and workers of Venezuela -- for wiping, of course, not for reading. Perhaps put pages through IRS and NSA redacting machine first so no one will read by accident.

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RedDiaperette wrote:Even better, Koran says to use stones to wipe and sand to clean hand. (Only left hand may be used.) This also saves precious water.
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