Our friend Michael Loftus offers a solution in this four-minute elevator pitch that will lift you up or bring you down depending on who you self-identify as.

The original Disneyland was composed of three lands, Frontierland, Tomorrowland, and Fantasyland. What will be the three lands of Sharialand?

Fatwaland

Jihadland

Fitnahland

Dedhedvedev wrote:The original Disneyland was composed of three lands, Frontierland, Tomorrowland, and Fantasyland. What will be the three lands of Sharialand?

huh. there will be 72 lands !
the Chopchopland, the Boomboomland, the Mushroomboomland, the Kuffarincageland, ...
... , the Alibabagangland, the Aladdinflightland, the Bottledgenieland, the Shoetossingland, ...
... , the Musulmaninventedallscienceandtechnicbutwhitemansomehowappropriatedallthatland, ...
... , at last the Hourihourihouriland, and the crown of all - the Bachabaziland.

When HE completes HIS latest project (rebuilding the USSA) His Majesty will return to HIS true identity - Barry of Arabia - and will designate the three lands thus - HIS-1, HIS-2, and HIS-3. (Hoop Land, Putter's Paradise, & The Glorious World of Next Tuesday)™

[OFF]

No offense to Loftus, but I think the reason why he added fake laughs (listen carefully to the acoustics) is because his stuff can't get real laughs. He's trying too hard to be funny. His delivery is like he's trying to force the humor or like he's desperate to get a laugh. And why he chose the RAF roundel for his logo I'll never know. It's probably because of my weird sense of humor, but Mike's a big fat dud to me.

Lofton aside, I've got a video that demonstrates a more effective way to "end terrorism in one easy step":

Captain Craptek wrote:When HE completes HIS latest project (rebuilding the USSA) His Majesty will return to HIS true identity - Barry of Arabia - and will designate the three lands thus - HIS-1, HIS-2, and HIS-3. (Hoop Land, Putter's Paradise, & The Glorious World of Next Tuesday)™

[ON]

Does this mean we will have a remake of "Lawrence of Arabia" after the revolution?

When I was in elementary school I was taught that the Mideast was the The Cradle of Civilization. What happened?

Dedhedvedev wrote:When I was in elementary school I was taught that the Mideast was the The Cradle of Civilization. What happened?

It has completed its life cycle - from cradle to grave.

So it is now close to becoming The Grave of Civilization.

Red Square wrote:

Dedhedvedev wrote:When I was in elementary school I was taught that the Mideast was the The Cradle of Civilization. What happened?

It has completed its life cycle - from cradle to grave.

So it is now close to becoming The Grave of Civilization.

[OFF]

I heard the same thing too. I like to say 'Well, the baby's gotta leave the cradle sometime." In this case, it got tired of having sand in its' ass so it went to Greece and Rome.

It wouldn't hurt to throw in a show of defiance.

Red Square wrote:

Dedhedvedev wrote:When I was in elementary school I was taught that the Mideast was the The Cradle of Civilization. What happened?

It has completed its life cycle - from cradle to grave.

So it is now close to becoming The Grave of Civilization.

The phrase "cradle to grave" seems so familiar. Like I've seen it somewhere before, tattooed on two hands, a cradle on one, a grave on the other, but whose hands were they?

Has anyone ever said it more clearly?

"The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness."

- Vladimir Nabokov

Dedhedvedev wrote:When I was in elementary school I was taught that the Mideast was the The Cradle of Civilization. What happened?

I am thinking the peoples in the cradle soiled it very badly, and no one has cleaned it up.

Captain Craptek wrote:Has anyone ever said it more clearly?

"The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness."

- Vladimir Nabokov

They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more. -- Samuel Beckett

Dedhedvedev wrote:

Red Square wrote:

Dedhedvedev wrote:When I was in elementary school I was taught that the Mideast was the The Cradle of Civilization. What happened?

It has completed its life cycle - from cradle to grave.

So it is now close to becoming The Grave of Civilization.

The attachment cradle2grave.jpg is no longer available

The phrase "cradle to grave" seems so familiar. Like I've seen it somewhere before, tattooed on two hands, a cradle on one, a grave on the other, but whose hands were they?

I got it! I saw it on a business card for the Hillary Clinton Escort Service. Her motto: If you're not coming to me, I'm coming for you!