WANTED: anonymous sources - exciting new career opportunity!

Do you hate Donald Trump?

Is your lifelong dream to destroy his presidency? Do you live for nothing else these days?

Are you looking for a flexible job that requires little effort while allowing you to be as outrageous as you want? Do you enjoy throwing stuff at the wall and watching it slide down to the floor leaving a trail of slime?

Then mainstream media outlets, especially the New York Times and Washington Post, would like to offer you a position as an ANONYMOUS SOURCE!

Choose from a wide variety of openings in this exciting and dynamic new career field, with glamorous job titles ranging from Russian diplomat to one of James Comey’s third grade classmates. Or just be an anonymous source who confirms information provided by another anonymous source. You don’t even have to see it to confirm it.

All you have to do is conjure up something unfavorable to Trump and phone it in to the mainstream media’s Get Trump Hotline. Anything goes—and don’t worry about pesky little things like facts or logic. The MSM will take care of repeating your revelations ad nauseam until they are hammered into stone as irrefutable facts, after which no one will care about logic.

No training required. No experience necessary. You don’t even have to fill out an application or get all dressed up for an interview. Just pick up the phone and call with whatever dirt you can fling at Trump, and NYT and WaPo will do the rest. It’s just that easy!

Best of all, you can do it without ever having to leave the comfort of your parents’ basement! Operators are standing by, so call their Get Trump Hotline now—and get Trump!
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Choose from a wide variety of openings in this exciting and dynamic new career field, with glamorous job titles ranging from Russian diplomat to one of James Comey’s third grade classmates.

I only knew Comrade Comey—'Jimbosky'—until the second grade. :o(
 

Most Equal Commissarka Pinkie,

You had me at "Choose from a wide variety of openings".

Red Salmon
 

Win Prizes!!


 

Imperatorskiy Pingvin

Commissarka Pinkie

Choose from a wide variety of openings in this exciting and dynamic new career field, with glamorous job titles ranging from Russian diplomat to one of James Comey’s third grade classmates.

I only knew Comrade Comey—'Jimbosky'—until the second grade. :o(

Imperatorskiy Pingvin:

Not to worry. We have openings going all the way back to the maternity ward where Comey was pinned into his first pair of diapers.

We're also looking at the possibility of reincarnation and previous lives.
 

An anonymous White House official told me that Donald Trump is actually a space alien from Mars trying to hook our babies on cigarettes so he can take over the world. This is all tied in with the Bat Boy and the lost World War Two Fighting Tiger formation that disappeared in 1942 while flying through the Bermuda Triangle and was last seen by a local man a few years ago when he spied it through his telescope apparently orbiting the moon in perfect fighter formation.
 

 

I vill transmit zhis to zhe Cherman Kollektive!

The hysteria, I mean, the zeal to make Trump voll kaputt is here as hot as across the Big Pond.
According to our Organs of Truth, the impeachment is already near rolling, they whisper in DC.



 

As anonymous sources, do we get a stash of disposable Obamaphones so that we cannot be traced and thereby cease being anonymous?
 

$.$. Halliburton

... is all tied in with the Bat Boy and the lost World War Two Fighting Tiger formation ...

leave Bat boy alone and out of this mess. I talked to him last night and even though he admitted to being Hillary's baby from when she had the affair with Jimbosky, he is a "Deplorable" and Trump sympathizer 119%.

C31hXtWWEAExq3X.jpg
Mummy and sonny
 

Comrade Svyet

leave Bat boy alone and out of this mess. I talked to him last night and even though he admitted to being Hillary's baby from when she had the affair with Jimbosky, he is a "Deplorable" and Trump sympathizer 119%.

C31hXtWWEAExq3X.jpg
Mummy and sonny
Sorry, couldn't help it. I think this picture below is the original image. The one you used had been Photoshopped to make Hillary look more acceptable to human voters.


 

Red Square

Comrade Svyet

leave Bat boy alone and out of this mess. I talked to him last night and even though he admitted to being Hillary's baby from when she had the affair with Jimbosky, he is a "Deplorable" and Trump sympathizer 119%.

C31hXtWWEAExq3X.jpg
Mummy and sonny
Sorry, couldn't help it. I think this picture below is the original image. The one you used had been Photoshopped to make Hillary look more acceptable to human voters.



 

Since the lede image with this link is becoming popular on Twitter, here is a larger version for sharing:


 

 

Red Square

Comrade Svyet

leave Bat boy alone and out of this mess. I talked to him last night and even though he admitted to being Hillary's baby from when she had the affair with Jimbosky, he is a "Deplorable" and Trump sympathizer 119%.

C31hXtWWEAExq3X.jpg
Mummy and sonny
Sorry, couldn't help it. I think this picture below is the original image. The one you used had been Photoshopped to make Hillary look more acceptable to human voters.



LMAO...oops, sorry, need to be somber... how dare the decadent politburo of klintons do such a thing. Wait, it was the Russians....
 

As an anonymous source, I can confirm the confirmation of another anonymous source that Donald Drumpf *spit* is Snoke, as reported by an anonymous source. Of course such a evil man would rule a private empire far away with an iron fist and have fascist demogogues speaking with a striking resemblance to Hitler. Furthermore, he seeks to manipulate Rey and Kylo into a homophobic heterosexual relationship.
 

Has anyone taken a close look at the pattern on her pantsuit?
 

 

Trained journalists (like global warming scientists) are trained in "handling" facts.




 

Commissarka Pinkie

Imperatorskiy Pingvin

Commissarka Pinkie

Choose from a wide variety of openings in this exciting and dynamic new career field, with glamorous job titles ranging from Russian diplomat to one of James Comey’s third grade classmates.

We're also looking at the possibility of reincarnation and previous lives.

Wow! That is so awesome and super spiritual that you are considering anonymous candidates from past lives!

I was a personal friend of Comey back in the day when he called himself Brutus, his BFF in fact. He told me the whole story and vowed to repeat this again in a later incarnation. He didn’t say exactly when because that was super confidential. But I can testify to the the truth of this. Seriously. True story.

I hope this gets me a good paying job because I’ve been unemployed for so long I’m getting bored. OK?

Here’s my resumé:

Wikipedia says:
Brutus was close to General Julius Caesar, the leader of the Populares faction. However, Caesar's attempts to assume greater power for himself put him at greater odds with the Roman elite and members of the Senate. Brutus eventually came to oppose Caesar and fought with the Optimate faction, led by Pompey the Great, against Caesar's forces in Caesar's Civil War. Pompey was defeated at the Battle of Pharsalus in 48 B.C., after which Brutus surrendered to Caesar, who granted him amnesty.
 

Pamalinsky

Wikipedia says:
Now, there is the most anonymous of all anonymous sources, indeed!
 

RedDiaperette

Pamalinsky

Wikipedia says:
Now, there is the most anonymous of all anonymous sources, indeed!

That's right, Comrade RedDiaperette! Anonymous folks must protect each other. In solidarity!