Help Save The Polar Bears and the Arctic

No matter how many carbon credits you buy to offset your big American carbon footprint you're still not doing enough! You can buy offsets but that doesn't stop your carbon from melting the icecap and killing all those cute polar bears and flooding the planet.

There's only one thing you can do.

We're Sending Ice To The Arctic

And now you can too!

Save the Arctic with ice.

Our company was founded to send ice to the Arctic! We're frantically shipping the stuff up there as fast as we can. But it's never enough. It's a big job and we could sure use your help. Carbon offsets aren't enough anymore. The Arctic needs ice! The polar bears have just been listed as ENDANGERED. Please, before you kill more polar bears and Eskimos, join us in our mission. We've made it easy for you.

Just visit iceforthearctic.com and set up an exclusive account for just pennies per day.

Isn't "selling ice to the Eskomos" sort of an open secret that nobody notices because it's as self-evident as, well, ice in the Eskimo land? In that sense, it can become the official motto of the entire Global Warming / Carbon Offsets movement.

Of course, we're in fact GIVING ice to the Eskimos, while SELLING the idea of it to the guilt-ridden neurotics in the Blue States, but it still boils down to selling ice to the Eskomos.

This is a wonderful time we're living in, comrades! I'm so glad I was born in the age of progress instead of some dark unenlightened 19th century of Mark Twain when town markets were swarming with snake oil salesmen.

Selling ice to the Eskomos?? Do you people know how offensive that is? Hmm? That is on par with saying "selling tainted malt liquor -- malt liquor with maganese and sleeping pills stirred into it by the white male corporatist fascist -- to Inner-city African-Americans". Yes... that is how offensive your little "selling ice to Eskomo-Americans" thingy is!

I AM OUTRAGED!

P.S -- Everyone on this thread -- with the exception of me, of course -- is a racist. Oh, with the exception of Comrade Red Square too since he is a registered Democrat who is voting for Barack Obama.

If that's true, then I refuse to participate in this thread.

Too late, Betty. You've been caught red-handed.

This thread is a trap, sort of like a hollowed pumpkin with a fruit inside that the hunters use to catch monkeys. The monkey sticks the hand inside, grabs the fruit, but the opening is too small for the fist to get out, and the monkey is too stupid and/or greedy to let the fruit go. Stupid monkey. Oh crud. Did I just use the M word? There I go, caught in the same trap as the mon... Oh no, I just used the M word again!

MUUUAAAHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

No one is safe! If I go down then I'm taking everyone with me! The trap is inevitable, do not resist! <s>Join us and together we will rule the galaxy as....</s>

And I never participated in this thread. These posts you see are a combination figment and holographic projection beamed down to this thread by Laika to fool you all!! Long live superior Soviet technology!!!

I'm not a racist. I'm a hard working white person. Whew my Inter-Klan almost slipped out.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Selling ice to the Eskomos?? Do you people know how offensive that is? Hmm? That is on par with saying "selling tainted malt liquor -- malt liquor with maganese and sleeping pills stirred into it by the white male corporatist fascist -- to Inner-city African-Americans". Yes... that is how offensive your little "selling ice to Eskomo-Americans" thingy is!

I AM OUTRAGED!

P.S -- Everyone on this thread -- with the exception of me, of course -- is a racist. Oh, with the exception of Comrade Red Square too since he is a registered Democrat who is voting for Barack Obama.

What the HELL IS A ESKIMOMO ? and why am in not in on the cut of the ice sales?

I, Commissarka Pinkie, have pulled myself from the embrace of my pool boy, Jesus (who also does Pupovich's lawn), to board my Gulfstream and fly into this thread not because of rumors there's a free case of vodka inside a hollowed out pumpkin, but because (a) as the self-appointed and self-anointed official spokesperson for the National Association for the Advancement of Correct Politics, a strictly non-partisan, totally non-profit organization dedicated to promoting Democrats politically correct thought, speech and actions and (b) assurances from my PR team (affectionately known as Team Pinkie) that there were lots of TV cameras here, I have come to investigate allegations that a prominent Cube personage has used the M word, and duly see him condemned and denounced as the worst human being ever second only to George W. Bush. I will also engage in mindless ranting until--

Oh wait a minute--it was Red Square who said it?

My fellow comrades, Red Square is my Glorious Leader who gave me my gold shovel, keeps me in vodka, and sends tingles up my leg every time he speaks. He has always been correct on all the issues, especially the Real Issues, that matter to the NAACP. If he used the M-word, then I'm sure he misspoke out of exhaustion from all the important work he does to advance The Party's agenda in the face of endless, brutal attacks from the VRWC.

I'm sure if asked, he'll admit he has a bit of a problem using the M word at times, but that he's now duly chastened, so let us move on and never mention this again, lest Faux News and the hatemonger Limbaugh exploit it to distract The People from The Real Issues.

LoneRedStar: You don't get a cut of the ice sales because of rumors you used the M-word back in 1984, and that your mother made one for you to play with out of old socks back in 1962, and it was your favorite toy until your 25th birthday.

Now excuse me. I have to make a guest appearance on an MSNBC news show that takes a fond look back at the 1992 election. I will be sharing my thoughts about the time Dan Quayle mashed the spelling of potato, and the numerous ways it can still mean trouble for the GOP this coming November.

Commissar Pinkie... The Cone is working correct? Da? Oh well, as long as nobody else can hear. Thank you for your quick response to the ThoughtCrime™ that has permeated this thread like so much virgin blood through the soon to be forgotten Empress' guzzle spot. I must bring yet another criminal to our attention, Comrade Blugonov and his competitive struggle to remain in the top 20 posters here. That is the true nature of ThoughtCrime™. It begins small, hardly noticed, then as the infected Comrade gets away with one minor infectious thought, then another, next thing you know we have a full grown ThoughtCriminal™ with not even a sense of guilt, and where would we be without guilt and shame? Hmmm? A rethuglican that is what! So much ThoughtCrime™, so little time.

I can not tell you how relieved I am that I did not take part in this racist, competitive orgy of ThoughtCrime™ that has erupted here.

LoneRedStar wrote:

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Selling ice to the Eskomos?? Do you people know how offensive that is? Hmm? That is on par with saying "selling tainted malt liquor -- malt liquor with maganese and sleeping pills stirred into it by the white male corporatist fascist -- to Inner-city African-Americans". Yes... that is how offensive your little "selling ice to Eskomo-Americans" thingy is!

First of all, they are Inuit and not Eskimo. that means "blood drinker". its like Sioux which means "cut throat" they are Dakotas


i insist on accompanying the shipment of ice. we will "protect" it until delivery. there is only a small charge of 40%. up front of course

confirm distance to launching solution

one ping only

I must also insist on providing the *mostly* pure water to be frozen into the valuable ice being sent....

*Transmission to One Ping Only* Great Stalin's Ghost! Did you not see the Chairman's warning?? You too have now been caught in your ThoughtCrime™!

Commissar Pupovich wrote:I must also insist on providing the *mostly* pure water to be frozen into the valuable ice being sent....

*Transmission to One Ping Only* Great Stalin's Ghost! Did you not see the Chairman's warning?? You too have now been caught in your ThoughtCrime™!

be calm comrade commissar,

we were speaking in the cone of silence! also, that was a code,. give means take , take give.

besides, we are encouged by the Russian Navy to self fund when possible. i do not wish my boat to be thrown on the piles of rusting subs! i will do what i must to protect RODINA!
confirm distance to workers pardise

one ping only

Ah, now we are indeed! I hope it works retroactively!

I would just like to tell everyone a true story. My child, a truly sensitive child, was at Chuck E. Cheese and asked the waitress to bring his ice in a separate glass. I asked him "why Billy, why do you want the ice in a separate glass?" He said, so I can mail it to the polar bears." I NEARLY CRIED. I just KNOW he is going to grow up to be a caring liberal. I am so proud. Did I mention that he was sensitive?

Does your child have a big fur hat like his dad? He may need it when Global Warming will bring about Ice Age III.

He's too young.. he won't have fur for quite awhile..

*sound of head pounding on keyboard*

And there goes another mouthful of highly caffeinated vodka spraying across my keyboard . . .

"one ping only......"

LOL

Sean earned more beet money saying those words than I might earn in four crop seasons.

I can see now why Big Fur Hat requires such room.... for when his head swells when he hears his child express such liberal wisdoms.

Reminds me of the old People's classic:

I know my head will swell when I receive my We Put the U in Gulag shirt I ordered last night! With any luck, it will be adorning my progressive body by this Friday!