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Well Played Detroit!

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In a surprising move, Detroit has announced it has filed for bankruptcy. This glorious achievement has also knocked Chicagograd into second place making Detroit the new progressive shining city on the hill.

"Chicagograd is just going to have to work harder to regain first place" stated a press release from Comrade Mayor Rahm's office, "It is obvious that Detroit has finally eliminated the rethuglikkkan threat from their city".

This achievement does not come without problems however. A reliable source says that Detroit may have to liquidate some of the people's assets in order to pay down the debt. This would be totally unacceptable in an era of collectivization. It would be far better to liquidate the assets of the city's bourgeoisie, the problem is that they are extinct in this area.

It is also understood that Dear Leader Comrade President has no intent on bailing Detroit out. He has been working hard to put the USSA in the same position and has therefore sent a letter of congratulations stating "When the USSA is bankrupt we will all be Detroit!".

Of course they could always sell the city to the United Auto Workers union.

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Kommissar Brainiac wrote:
Of course they could always sell the city to the United Auto Workers union.
This will be unnecessary, Comrade Kommissar. The UAW already DOES own Detroit. As it always has. They should be given great credit along with the Democrat party for the state Detroit is in, supervising the fine mass transit system in the city and bankrupting the evil auto companies that used to keep hundreds of thousands of workers off the welfare roles.

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Obama: If I had a city, it would look like Detroit!

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One can easily see that Michigan is taking steps to correct their problems:

[highlight=#NaNNaNNaN]WARREN (WWJ)[/highlight] – Help us cut down on blight in our city. That's the message in a letter sent by Warren Mayor Jim Fouts to the [highlight=#ffff00]Michigan[/highlight] Department of Transportation.
Fouts said grass and weeds grow as high as 6 feet along the I-696 service drive in the city — and he wants the state to help get rid of it.
“Blight begets a situation that nobody wants to be around. People want neighborhoods that are blight- free. Obviously it's unsightly; it doesn't look good and it encourages all kinds of problems, whether it be rats, or crime — things of that nature,” Fouts said in an interview with WWJ Newsradio 950′s Zahra Huber.

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R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:
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Obama: If I had a city, it would look like Detroit!
Or Chicago...
Or Bakersfield...
Or Allentown...
Or Cleveland...
Or Baltimore..
Or D.C. after 5 PM on a Thursday afternoon...



 
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