Comrades, for last day I have been feeling as if of numbness.

As of the day before this day, I have been made to discovery. You see, it has been of my custom to have all dirty clothing of scoundrel loving husband to be bring to me first before 27^th wife to take to do the washing. It is only right. As you are of knowing, husband has many important businesses and should be by mistake he to put something of importance into pockets it is my duty as first wife to check. Does not all good wife to check pockets of husband to see if there is any money papers that may to get washed that should not be or perhaps a red girly panty handkerchief may be accidentally left and ruin all white clothings?

So as I to check pockets I do find a paper. It is of folded type and has a strange smell not so much like the perfume but more liking to foot deodorant. I slowly open paper and from which falls a small foto but it to land with faces down.

It read:

My darling, sweetest, most snuggly cuddly wookie (I can to feel contents of semi-digested food stuff from stomach to raise into back of mouth)

I had such a wonderful time on our all-too-short camping trip. You really are a wild man, my plumpy little revolutionary, you. I had no idea just how much fun you could be! And you're soooo knowledgeable about so many things. Who would have guessed that you would have problems with new recruits? Trust me, honey, I know how it is. So many say they back up your plan but when it comes time to execute it they all seem to disappear. Yes, Darling, you're not alone with that one. Oh, but listen to me babble on and on… enough! I just want to sit back and reminisce about our time together because who knows when we'll get to be together again (though I hope it's real soon)

Oh, Cupcake, being with you was such an adventure! And when you showed me your mountain… I never knew just how exhilarating it would be to climb up that majestic peak of yours. Sure, it took awhile to get up, but as we rose higher and higher…. OH! And then when we reached the peak… double OH!

Sweety, I close this letter with fond memories and a heart that misses you deeply. Stay well, my dear. I've enclosed a little picture of us so you could always remember our time together.
love love LOVE


Can you to see how letter was in closing? Not with a naming just silly little girly lip mark, and AKKKK! That not even lipstick but kind like plastic chapstick mark! What beast of womans not even to put on the lipstick for indiscreet time with man?

So then I look to floor where down face foto is to be laying. I am not of knowing how it is to be feeling. It not unlike my husband to have the womans as he has the many wifes so who am I to care as I am always to be the first wife. But I not to recall such love letter in pocket before now and it sound too… too… too much not like kind of womans husband would to be with.

So I pick up the foto and have the long hard stare into face of trollop who dare to write so much of the nonsense to husband. And it to be worse than I was of expectation. I was of being of that word I have to hear around Gulag… what that to be…. ahhh. SHOCKED!! Yes, I tell you I was to be SHOCKED! It not to be any little plaything trollop but a dhimmi trollop! What has been to happen to husband that he would to even be with dhimmi of any kind?

So now I to be of numbness and not to knowing how to feel. Maybe not to care. I am having good Gulag life. Boris and now Misha are here to keep me and rest of Gulag gals in amusement to help with the cave washing and plowing in the beet field. But I keep to be of wonderment.. why her of all the peoples? Her? Ala zeg… Oh, here is the foto. Maybe you to tell me if it to be problem or for me to just forget?

I feel your your distressing distress. I too felt "contents of semi-digested food stuff from stomach to raise into back of mouth" as I read along.
Dearest Comradess, I hate to be the one to say, but dearly beloved louse spousal unit isa stinking pig in a personal crisis. And I am of fear I recognized bleached blondie piggie - she is well known around backstreets of gulag as a "cheap $.50 whorely woman", who throws her skanky body at all males (and womanlies!) in gulag and beyond. Her ugly face is only surpassed by ugly, smelly, beet stained feet.
She had a falling out in the gulag after stalking Bushitler for months and months, desirous of being . . . . MRS. BUSHITLER! Yes, is true and makes tummy turn again, goes it not?

I feel your pain but be of good cheer. I have delightful recipe for poisonmushroom & goat gonad soup. (please follow directions closely). This special recipe is for dearly beloved spousal unite and guaranteed to bring his lousy ass heart home, forever! (p.s. and please by of remembrance, you never got recipe from me)

How do you know that it's just not the 78th wife?

For a small price, we can offer special wormholes to the past/future, time correction services, historical rewriting, and various retroactive continuity. It is the Socialist way to ignore and deny what we don't like, which makes my office more than self sustaining.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:For a small price, we can offer special wormholes to the past/future, time correction services, historical rewriting, and various retroactive continuity. It is the Socialist way to ignore and deny what we don't like, which makes my office more than self sustaining.

Let me get my government supplied coins! This could be just what Comradess Mrs. Al needs... to rewrite offending social unites out of the picture, via Mushroom Goat Gonad Soup.
What a tasty answer.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

Colonel 7.62 wrote:For a small price, we can offer special wormholes to the past/future, time correction services, historical rewriting, and various retroactive continuity. It is the Socialist way to ignore and deny what we don't like, which makes my office more than self sustaining.

Let me get my government supplied coins! This could be just what Comradess Mrs. Al needs... to rewrite offending social unites out of the picture, via Mushroom Goat Gonad Soup.
What a tasty answer.

It certainly worked for me! Early last year, during my annual illegal immigration route from Canada, I was struck by some pig in an airline over something called the Hudson River, and yet here I am now. If only I could get rid of these stupid parado-

Mrs Al Czarweary,

Is it not better that husband prefers to goose (no offense Comrade Goose) blond pro-terrorist freedom fighter trollop? Leaves more time for you to play mah jong in your cave with other wives. Who knows? Today she may be mistress, but tomorrow, she may end up with her head chopped off like friendly reporter Danny Pearl. Then, who is luckier?

Dearest Mrs. Alcazrweary, being a lowly beast kindred to that of your husband, I can assure you this is simply a very simple, basic misunderstanding!

I hear that planting beets always clears the mind...


Fraulein Pulloskies, your soup smells suspicious....

When I was an Art major, I had a class with a openly socialist professor. On the first day he said "Everyone in this room has a guaranteed B, that's if you show up or not" Well needless to say I didn't go to class again except for maybe three times to watch the freak show. It was entertaining watching his mindless drivel as he chanted about all the Marxist nonsense he infatuated himself with. But I changed my major (and my school) from art to something with a little bit more usefulness.

Mrs. Czarweary,
We are of courses much to be sorry to hear of such husbandly bumpenuglies. Is to be of smallish comfort that if Husband go a'warring after his a'whoreing, she is of known to stab such mans in eyeball with rusty fork. Much pains shall cause him to scamper back to cave of other 27 wifes. Allah Arkbard!

OH! How many the good suggestions are here for me to be the using!

Fraulein Pulloskies, how is it you to know of home country's manly delicacy of goat gonad soup? All the mens are of enjoying such soup as it said to give them robust manliness. The mushroom would to be a new addition that I must to look into.

Colonel 7.62, perhaps husband has special weapon in stash that would be of interesting to you? It could to be of fun to watch dhimmi-wit spiral away in wormhole.

Comrade Goose, as first wife I have say as who to be wife is one more is required. And I to put foot down and say there to be no dhimmi-wit wives in husband's collection.

Leninka... you must to be korrekt. Evil dhimmi-wit trollop must to use drugs from poppy fields on husband and he to not know what was of happening. And I of suspicion she to not pay for drugs. I must to tell Taleeban comrades of this and to let them to handle matter.

Comrade Buffoon that is most pretty beet seed packet I to ever see!! I am having no idea I am conducting beet seed business... HEY! Is this to be some kind of setting up? Ahhhhh. Misha again. That Misha always to get into trouble with me. He was to have too much fun playing with Fraulein Pulloskies firm ripe beets and has been of telling me about his wanting to plant seeds with Fraulein. He must be to use my image to entice Fraulein with beet seeding.

Ivanoushka, I am just simple wife of second in command to Osama been Laidon and I have no understanding of what you to say except to say art is the foundation of all good Progressive Socialist movements. Where would we now to be without Obama Commemorative Bedpan to keep pushing our movements?

BUMPENUGLIES??!!! AKKKK!!! TOO DESCRIPTIVE!! Now I to have such horrid image in head like earworm of evil capitalistic McDoodoo song.... McDonald's is your kind of place, It's a hap hap happy place, It's a snap snap snappy place...... Czar Czar, I will to be spend all day of head shaking to try to rid of such image making.

I am of much gratefulness to so many helpings of suggestions. I now to relax with Dimitri and Misha in cave.

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Dearest Mrs. Alcazrweary, being a lowly beast kindred to that of your husband, I can assure you this is simply a very simple, basic misunderstanding!

I hear that planting beets always clears the mind...

alcazarweary beets seeds.jpg

Fraulein Pulloskies, your soup smells suspicious....

That is the smell of goat gonads. You haven't had the soup before, eh? Most tasty once you get past the gamey oder.

Madame Al Czarweary, don't you people have some ritual by which you say "I divorce you" 3 times and then you put his moccasins outside the Tee-pee? Or in your case, the cave.

"you people"... sweet fancy gulags, don't 'you people' know that such a comment sounds racist to 'those people'? Racism and bigotisms comes from reichwinggers not the backward forward thinking progress progressives, dear Comrade Whoopie. I sure you were just of mis-speak.

As for divorcing, I think it is turning 3x in a circle of manly unites only; wifely unites just bow and curtsy and throw salt over shoulder then go shopping for new hairdo. But of course, Mrs. Al is mostly more informed on such topics.

It seems to me that Mrs Al Czarweary's peoples get divorced in stages. Wife #1 is first to go through stage. When Mr. Al Czarweary takes second wife, wife #1 goes through stage one of divorce. When Mr. Al Czarweary takes third wife, wife #1 goes through stage two of divorce, and so on.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Dearest Mrs. Alcazrweary, being a lowly beast kindred to that of your husband, I can assure you this is simply a very simple, basic misunderstanding!

I hear that planting beets always clears the mind...

alcazarweary beets seeds.jpg

Fraulein Pulloskies, your soup smells suspicious....

That is the smell of goat gonads. You haven't had the soup before, eh? Most tasty once you get past the gamey oder.

Correct Fraulein, I have not had the privileged of dining on Gonad Soup, I did mistakenly get rationed a potato last year though... fries for minutes!

Comrade Buffoon, I will be most happy to provide recipe for super-licious Mushroom-Goat-gonad Soup to your spousal unit! It will keep you on your toes, if nothing else.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:"you people"... sweet fancy gulags, don't 'you people' know that such a comment sounds racist to 'those people'?

Gracious goodness you're right correct. I denounce me, I denounce me, I denounce me. What I meant to say was your kind your tribe. As we all know tribalism is akin to collectivism and is the incestual ancestral roots of all -isms and progressive prejudice.

Ahh, this is such a relief, dearest loyal Comrade! And never worry about the Urgent email sent to the Party Elite of the Inner Groupings, I shall simply recall and denounce it as a "mis-speak' like when dear Leader said the 'redistribution' word blunder. (what? ummm? what do you mean I can't do that? It must be recallable! Why you say that now!!??)

Dear comrade, an urgent problem is arisen came up in the beet fields and I must rush there immediately. I will be back in touch soon....!

Hmmmm.... Goat Gonad Soup not only to make sun rise in morning.

Divorce not so simple like the clicking of heels 3 times and saying, "I want to divorce, I want to divorce, I want to divorce." NO. And then I no longer to be first wife and have 76.... um....77... um, I lose the count... how many under-wives to do all the works needed in household as I now of age that am needing of much helps. Husband not to give me enough of the allowance to hire the union workers and some time he forget and send me his recruits and they to end up blowing everythings up and leave such many messes. Under-wife 52 usually to make the certainty that no recruit to enter the cave. I can not to be everywhere at the one time most special now that Misha is also of needing much of the attention as Fraulein Pulloskies can to confirm. Is that not korrect, Fraulein?

And Comrade Whoopie I am good to see you are of most understanding to tribal ways of my country peoples. So many isms - so little of the time.

Mrs. Al! You are in such a burdensome way (I am thinking, other wives are of little usage?). Please, take dear Misha back to give you assistance in all your daily needsand desires...he can help to relieve so much of your tension, as scoundrel of husband seeks his pleasurable times with blondie whorlette! I will also send Boris over, just in case a fire breaks out, you will be much very much prepared with coolent. (he is most helpful in tension relief and putting dishes in dishwasher).

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Comrade Buffoon, I will be most happy to provide recipe for super-licious Mushroom-Goat-gonad Soup to your spousal unit! It will keep you on your toes, if nothing else.

My spousal unit and I only share AK-47 fire...keeps us honest you know...

This is good to know. I'm thinking you might not care so much for the delicious soup...

What!! Not care for delicious goat gonad soup? There is nothing richer, nothing better, nothing more nutritious, not even Cheetos.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:This is good to know. I'm thinking you might not care so much for the delicious soup...

Any delicacy prepared by baby mamma is as suspect as capitalism...

The thought is certainly enough to make anyone hurl. Any good Mum would have the wee one hurl in the beet garden and make good use of hurls. Tisk tisk, such a wasteful woman.

Fraulein Pulloskies, where do you think the bowl of capitalist bile is dumped?

I always presumed it was dumped in the Soylent Green factory to make the soylent more palatable? No?

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:I always presumed it was dumped in the Soylent Green factory to make the soylent more palatable? No?

We must never speak of the soylent, they're listening...