Komrades!

…And a hearty Ramadan Mubarak to my most peaceful Brothers of the Beautiful Religion.

Oh Great Day of Days! This 3rd Day of August in the 2011th year of the Common Era marks what we believe to be (according to all available documentation that has thus far been declassified) the 50th Anniversary of the Immaculate Generation of the Dear Leader (AP&PBUH) -- or is it the 57th Anniversary??? Oh, well, these piddle numbers are immaterial.

What IS important is the fact that [highlight=#ffff00]Organizing for America (OFA)[/highlight] -- the organization, website, social network and voter empowerment machine used by Obama during the 2008 election -- [highlight=#ffff00]is once again organizing thousands of grass roots organizations across the nation on this day in hosting house parties in honor of President Obama's Birthday![/highlight]

https://www.barackobama.com/news/an-inv ... august-3rd
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Now, I will be dining on medium-rare filets of Kobe Beef in the Windy City with our Blessed Saviour on this auspicious occasion. However, unlike many other “made progs” who are planning on mooching off Obama's Stash at the big blowout -- a raising of the roof to likewise celebrate the raising of the debt ceiling -- [highlight=#ffff00]I will be going the extra 1.6 kilometers to celebrate[/highlight].

[highlight=#ffff00]In each of my Fannie and Freddie financed vacation homes, I am hosting several OFA-Sponsored Dear Leader Birthday Blow Outs as means to show my intense level of impressive progressiveness[/highlight]. As a result, my guests will be dining on stale pretzels, Baskin-Robbins cake and Blue Kool-Aid. I've planned same-sex games of Naked Twister to round off the evening's events. I've even hired a magician to make the circuit (Magician is his part time gig…he actually works full time at the Treasury Department).

But there's MORE! I've managed to book most of the Chuckie Cheese restaurants in the tri-state area to cover the anticipated overflow.

The Dear Leader (AP&PBUH) has even acquiesced to a taped, 50-minute -- or is it 57-minute? (I can't quite remember) -- address to reward the dedicated followers who will flock to these parties!

Now, [highlight=#ffff00]I've not mentioned this in the present forum as a means to invite you to one of these bashes. Rather, I have only revealed my plans here in an effort to impress upon each of you your apparent lack of dedication to the Progressive Dream and the Dear Leader (AP&PBUH)[/highlight].

That you were not falling all over yourselves to raise awareness -- as it were -- to the ambitious plans YOU were (or SHOULD HAVE BEEN) making to honour the Dear Leader (AP&PBUH)…Because you were not the FIRST to announce your plans to host an OFA-sponsored event, it implies that you have NO PLANS-- which is of course a most unpatriotic affront on a grand scale -- or it implies that any subsequent plans you may announce herein are an afterthought or were not worthy of mention -- again…an affront of the first order. It implies that you do not care for the Dear Leader (AP&PBUH)... Tantamount to sedition and treason, I dare say.

I suggest you place your personal affairs in order and await the midnight knock on your door. Where you are going, you'll not need to concern yourself with global warming.

[highlight=#ffff00]At this point, it would not be prudent of me to say something as quaint as “It has been nice knowing you.” as this might imply that I have cavorted with known counterrevolutionary conspirators and -- considering your current precarious positions --would imply a lack of loyalty to the party on my part.

[/highlight]Rather, you may rest assured it shall be my great pleasure to give testimony at your show trials. It is the least I can do.

до свидания

Comrade Rahm,

The word in the beet field is that His O'liness will be wining and dining at the Arrogant Ball Room in Shicago. But how generous of The One™ to book Chuck E. Cheeses for the proles!

Remember: this will be a BYOM (bring your own money) event and NO BOOZE! Only Kool-Aide will be allowed and dispensed by FDA-approved servers.

My Collective's Beet Cake is already in the oven! The whipped-beet cake icing will feature a map of Amerikkka In Flames!

And we will be breaking out the 30 ruble vodka (not the regular cheap stuff) for the Worldwide Celebration!

But A REAL TREAT Awaits Us: The Collective's Jolly Theatre Troupe is planning a Full Re-Enactment of Dear Leader's Entire Life. Their complete reenactment may well take more than 3 Full Days (and we are hoping to Gaia that the beets do not dry out too much during this time, but No One Wants To Be The First Person To Leave The Production, if you know what I mean...)

Ah, but Comrade Goldstein, surely you know that the Dear Leader's birthday is August 4, not August 3: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama . The Dear Leader has encouraged us to gather on the evening of the third, so that we can ring in his birthday as the clock strikes twelve!

Happy Birthday to YOU.
Happy Birthday to YOU.
Happy Birthday DEAR LEADER.
Happy Birthday to YOU.

Happy Birthday to YOU.
Squished beets in borsch stew.
Bread & water in the gulag.
Happy Birthday to YOU.

Comrades, I will be arriving at one (or more) of the several festivities in one (or more) of the 400+ federal limousines so thoughtfully provided by Dear Leader. I just heard yesterday that Dear Leader has actually doubled the number of federal limousines since Bushitler's time, and that the proles on talk radio were whining that each one costs over 4 million dollars a year to run, according to the federal budget. Hey, it's the People's Money™, and dear Leader can spend it however he wishes. He's the most transparent president in history after all, and how else would all those necessary worshipers followers get around DC?? It's a big place, you know!

See you all at the party(s)!!!