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White House Janitorial Staff to Die Due to Sequestration

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Dateline Washington DC -

The White House has announced that, due to budget cuts caused by the Republican Sequestration, all members of the White House janitorial staff have been sentenced to die.

One of the janitors, seen above fist-bumping with Obama after the president graciously agreed to use lethal injection rather than the originally scheduled firing squad, told us that he completely understood the necessity of eliminating the janitorial staff permanently, and that he blames Republicans for ending his life at the age of 27.

As the Sequestration continues, it's hard to say what positions will be eliminated next. White House Spokesbarker Jay "Carney" Carney stated recently that the president is seriously considering eliminating both houses of Congress, which would save a lot of money for future golf expenditures and trips to Hawaii and Aspen.

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"And if the evil rethuglikkans won't agree to raise taxes, I'll shoot them myself and blame them for making me do it. The media will play along ... or else.... I have LOTS of bullets!"

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Approximately 2 billion at latest count, Comrade Marx!

Lessee, 535 members of Congress (both houses), 2 billion divided by 535...

Why, Dear Leader can shoot each member of Congress almost 4 million times! (3,738,317.7 times to be precise).

Those bodies are gonna be heavy, filled with all that lead - good thing DHS bought all those 2700 lil' armored vehicles!

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The White House released this press photo of the remains of the janitorial staff being carried to their final resting place in the future tomb of our Dear Leader so they can serve him in the afterlife.
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White House Janitor changes mind about method of summary execution, after being informed that Federal hoard of euthanizing drugs were out-of-date and not to be re-stocked with fresh supply due to sequestration. Here, Comrade Obama agrees to administer coup de grace personally, using borrowed Smithski and Wessonovitch revolver issued by State to Secret Service body guard (walking behind President and shown reading State Death Warrant while on way to golfing luncheon). President himself offered to clean up any messes left by blood splatter following execution and also promised not to bill janitor's family for cost of .357 Magnum bullet (unless more than one was needed). Janitor died like true Patriot and was buried in dumpster behind White House, with full military honors.

Truly, our Comrade Obama is A Man of the People!!

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Anyer, is the President holding a Governor?


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Ivan Betinov wrote:Anyer, is the President holding a Governor?
It is a GOVERNOR® (with Crimson Trace® Laser Grips, of course). Likely in .410 for "skeet."

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Hmmmm. Shouldn't he be shooting it through a door somewhere?



 
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