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Why Craptek is Thankful

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Comrades,

It's time to gather round the feast and partake of Dear Leader's bounty! I've posted a few of the more important reasons why I'm thankful to Him, and I hope you'll add some of your own.

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1) $2500 annual savings on my free Obamacare health plan.
2) New “clanging shovel” ring tone on my free O-Phone(s).
3) Professor Noel Ignatiev eliminating those annoying white teabag people.
4) EPA sequestration of cow farts.
5) Total security of all my personal information in The People's Cloud.
6) Lots of new Mexican friends.
7) Free “all you can dig” beets.
8) Wind powered computer (for windy days only)
9) Sun powered computer (for sunny days only)
10) Hand crank powered computer (for most days)
11) Dear Leader's wonderful promises.
12) Abovetexas admitted to union

Well, I can dream...right?

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Captain Craptek, you seem to be lacking gratitude for the Dear Leader's successes in international affairs? Red lines, piece initiatives, punishing videographers and restraining jingoists, no? Would you care to update your gratititudes, for the official record?

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Colonel - My gratitude bubbleith over and would consume well beyond my word-count/post limit.

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Much thought and thankfulness is directed toward the new and creative uses for pudding that I have recently learned here...

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Yes, Comrades, a boot in every pot, some magic beanstalk healthcare seeds, a handful of maize, a cup of berries, a few turkey turds and a seat on any boxcar, let the feast begin.... What more could we ask for.....

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Tovarichi wrote:Much thought and thankfulness is directed toward the new and creative uses for pudding that I have recently learned here...

Ah, yes! How did I forget the pudding?

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May your ThanksObama day be one of great rejoicing for all the bounty the State has given!

On this ThanksObama day we don't eat the turkey. The turkey is a guest of honor. Talk turkey, talk ObamaCare.


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Remember how Bushitler dispatched with the militant turkey?

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We all need to be thankful for the shit glorious truth Comrade Obama serves us daily.


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McObama's

Billions and Billions Served Spent

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Tovarichi wrote:Much thought and thankfulness is directed toward the new and creative uses for pudding that I have recently learned here...
DENOUNCED!!!!It has been determined that the recent creative uses of the People's pudding may actually inspire subversive thoughts!!!!Beet vodka on the other hand is still sanctioned though.

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What about holiday beet vodka pudding? Is family tradition. And then there's holiday fruit, nut, and beet vodka cake. Everyone's favorite.

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Indeed, Comrade Margaret!

Tovarichi, the Tea Party progressive girls, and I are planning a DELIGHTFUL Thanksgiving feast, with all the holiday beet vodka pudding you can ------ ------ --- ----- um, I mean eat!!

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Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:
Tovarichi wrote:Much thought and thankfulness is directed toward the new and creative uses for pudding that I have recently learned here...
DENOUNCED!!!!It has been determined that the recent creative uses of the People's pudding may actually inspire subversive thoughts!!!!Beet vodka on the other hand is still sanctioned though.

I object. Faith, Hope, and Mercy were just asking about the cute little sailor with the big


Hat, who liked butterscotch... May I ask, did you leave Miss Charity "landlocked"? She's still pissed....

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrades,
7) Free “all you can dig” beets.

O Captain, My Captain, for the love of God Dear Leader, please tell me where there are free all-you-can-dig beets, for I am barely getting by feasting from the vending machine company's dumpster thanks to the progressive policies of Dear Leader, and now have a 14 foot tapeworm am in the best of collective-mandated health.


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Did everybody get their FREE Tofurky yet?
I'm waiting by the gulag mailbox for mine.

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Psssst. Don't tell the nutri Commissars. Our turkey is getting stuffed with White Castles. The longer this farce continues, the easier to leave it all behind.
Love that Tom with the SOCOM in 308.

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I am thankful for Dear Leader's death panels IPAB which will keep track of when I should be allowed to live or die treatment or not-treatment. Now I no longer have to make such difficult decisions which are clearly above my pay grade ... or would be, if I received pay.

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I am thankful that Dear Leader has degraded the image of our expansionist, jingoistic country in the eyes of the morally superior third world.

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I am thankful for Dear Leader's superior intelligence. As comrade Malaria Jarrett has said:" He knows exactly how smart he is. And he knows that he has the ability -- the extraordinary, uncanny ability -- to take a thousand different perspectives, digest them and make sense out of them.” Lets face it, we have difficult challenges ahead of us. But with Dear Leader's intellect, we have nothing to fear, but the fear itself! Now, babushka fill me another glass of beet vodka...

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Comrades,

Let's enjoy the bounty of my labors Dear Leader's generosity!

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