Why Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize when He did


Realizing all was in order, I kicked back at my desk, and tore the foil cap off a bottle of vodka, figuring to make that liter last at least an hour, when my phone rang.
Rooting through forged tickets for Pupovich's Pleasure Palace and Mousey Tongue's hairballs I found and answered the offending phone.
It was the Nobel Prize Committee.
"What's this? Chairman Obama?" I stood and saluted the solid gold statue of Chairman O. "Nominated for the award shortly after elected you say? Has done nothing yet to warrant an award? No, awarding one to Tookie Williams would be Red Rooster's department, he's in a graveyard somewhere now. Oh, but you need Dear Leader to get it? Future accomplishments and hope? Yes, that's right up my alley. I'll get right on it. Go ahead and present the award."
And there you have it Comrades. People's Time(TM). Obama got The Nobel Peace Prize because the prize committee is on People's Time(TM). They saw that Dear Leader Obama was worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize not so much for what he has done, but rather what he *will* do. A little juggling of time, moments and some intervals later, the whole world understands that Obama was the perfect and in fact only choice for this honor, because of what HE HAS YET TO DO.
Sometimes I'm so good, I scare myself. Then I just tear the foil off another liter of vodka and go back to work, toiling for The Greater Good(TM) of The People(TM).


But when you say that Dear O'Leader got the Nobel Peace Prize for what he will do, that was over the top for me.
First, we all know that Obama doesn't have to do anything. He is. He was. He will be. He transcends time. Just ask the Couric Head. Just ask Brian Williams, if he's gotten all the Obama fecal matter off his nose. The universe had umpty dimensions in the first milliseconds after the Big Bang and then we settled into what we know. That was the time of the creation of SOBama, who will continue, just as he is, just as he was, just as he will be, with no achievements other than voting "Present" and teaching people how to register necro-proxy votes for ACORN.
I am so proud to be a Made Progressive. Dear Leader in Korea got his position from his father. But here in AmeriKKKa, we are blessed to have the biggest nullity in the history of the world occupying the highest office in the world.
Such a wonderful country.
Now. Can anyone tell me what to do about Bruno? He's quaking in the closet now. "Theocritus! You told me that I should shut up when I didn't win that prize at the drag show! And now Obama has won a prize at the Drag Show of the Nobels! I may be 6'3" tall and have a 50" chest but I'm more of a woman than Obama is a thinker! Where did I go wrong?"


As far as Bruno, I have this phone booth laying around you can put him in. It likes to wander off on it's own sometimes and seems to cross dimensional space and time. It's kinda handy for making sure one gets to a happy hour on time.


Well, I'll be. You done good. This expedites every thing. Before long, Detroit will be a revitalized city, and all cars made by Government Motors will be the most popular cars in Amerikka, and that pesky Ayn Rand and her stupid books will go on the ash heap of history. In fact, they'll be banned. And the award itself ought to have a monument built just for it.
Oh, and the Olympics? They are coming to Chicago. Oh, yes they are. It just won't be announced until after Michelle Obama is given a job as the C.E.O. of G.E.


And Leninka I think that you are right. The Olympics will have to come to Chicago. Because His O'iness will bear the torch, running around the world and it will go to Chicago. Right to the ACORN offices.




To all comrades: Does anyone want Bruno? I will cross your palm with silver. Hell, gold.




Take my Bruno! Please!




"Reeed Roooooster, can we have some more Cake NOOOOOWWW!!!! Reed Roooooster, we're tiiiired! Reeed Rooooster, we're BOOOOORREDD!!! Reeed ROOSTER CAN YOOOOOU HEEEEAR USSSSS!!!!"
Sorry comrades, gotto go, duty calls...





This is how Bruno looks[center]

When he'd give anything to be more delicate. I just caught him with his his pineapple hat.


I think Bruno yet needs a little more development, er, uh, if you know what I mean. Are you sure he's taking enough steroids? Really, you shouldn't be so stingy with him.


I think what gets me is the gravely voice singing "Memories."




Turboski


(Could Mother Theresa ever have arranged such a meeting? Mother Theresa could only have provided food and clothing, prayer and support...how meaningless!)
Bartender, another "Obama" beer, please.
Peace, comrades.


Commissarka Leninka
Oh, and the Olympics? They are coming to Chicago. Oh, yes they are. It just won't be announced until after Michelle Obama is given a job as the C.E.O. of G.E.
I dunno if Michelle has the time to be CEO of GE. That job at the hospital (what was the name, Chicago Hope?) was a no-show job and she barely had time to do that. Now that she's First
Oh wait, I bet 7.62 and his crew of stem winders could help.
Nevermind
On another note: Poor Bruno, he's so muscle bound he can't even reach his winkie to take a pee. I wonder who unzips his fly?
Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Commissarka Leninka
Oh, and the Olympics? They are coming to Chicago. Oh, yes they are.Commissarka Leninka:
Perhaps you are unaware of just how right you are!
The Ministry of Peace has a campaign plan already in full swing to ENSURE that the Olympics are held INSIDE the USSA:

Commissar Theocritus is already on board, ACORN and SIEU vanguard warriors are already conducting operations in enemy occupied territory to collapse their society from within.
You can follow the progress of the invasion liberation of Brazil here:
http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=4130
Victory is almost nearly at hand! (cue chants)
YES WE CAN!
YES WE CAN!
YES WE CAN!


Whoopie
On another note: Poor Bruno, he's so muscle bound he can't even reach his winkie to take a pee. I wonder who unzips his fly?That was a problem, but since he's been in consultation with Nanski and our Many Titted Empress he's learned just to let fly anywhere, any time.
Like the French duchess who would take a dump in a ballroom. She thought that since she was a duchess people should be honored to see her ordure on the floor.
Since Bruno is on such good terms with Lord 0, Our Many Titted Empress, Miss Resentment, Nansky, Babs Boxer, and Harry Reid, he's just learned to piss and shit everywhere he wants to.
After all, if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for him. And although he's a slobbering, half-witted fool, a monster of vanity, with no redeeming qualities, he's learned that in this he's utterly no different from any of them.
Raum Emmanual Goldstein
When Obama saw the breadth of his Awesomeness, he wept for there were no more awards to conquer…
But WAIT!….
Colonel! I have a cunning plan! It will, of course, require you kind assistance.
It may surprise you to know that in a few brief weeks after the Dear Leader’s (apuH) inauguration anointing, [B]Obamugabe was listed in Parade magazine as their #1 Worst Dictator for 2009. [/B]
While our esteemed colleague is certainly worthy of such veneration for his numerous exploits, I felt a deep sense of shame and regret for our newly

When I wrote a very nasty email to the editors, they explained to me that the Dear Leader (apuH) had not resided in his office for so much as a fortnight when they had gone to press. They we’re most supportive; however, the copy had gone to the presses already and their was nothing that could have been done. When I
But upon reading the Colonel’s brilliant exploitation of People's Time™ I leapt from my chair and danced with glee…HERE was the solution!
Comrade Colonel, if you would be so kind as to share with me the People's Time™ technology (under your esteemed adult supervision of course) so that I may set things right, I would be most appreciative. I already have the final copy ready.

Shall we?
Respectfully Submitted.
Com. Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Under Assistant (3rd Class) to the Deputy Vice Secretary Kommissar
for Unfastened Ordinance and Other Miscellaneous Armaments


Commissar Theocritus
Whoopie
On another note: Poor Bruno, he's so muscle bound he can't even reach his winkie to take a pee. I wonder who unzips his fly?That was a problem, but since he's been in consultation with Nanski and our Many Titted Empress he's learned just to let fly anywhere, any time.
Like the French duchess who would take a dump in a ballroom. She thought that since she was a duchess people should be honored to see her ordure on the floor.
Since Bruno is on such good terms with Lord 0, Our Many Titted Empress, Miss Resentment, Nansky, Babs Boxer, and Harry Reid, he's just learned to piss and shit everywhere he wants to.
After all, if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for him. And although he's a slobbering, half-witted fool, a monster of vanity, with no redeeming qualities, he's learned that in this he's utterly no different from any of them.
But Bruno doesn't belittle Four Star Generals for addressing him as "Ma'am," while repeatedly belittling the president of a black business association by addressing him as "Sir" ad nauseum.


2010 - "Taliban Wins Peace Prize for Restraint Against Western Society"
2011 - "Israel Captures Peace Prize By Agreeing to Re-Locate to Antarctica"
2012 - "Russia Awarded Nobel... for Stopping Tanks at German, Turkish Borders"
2013 - "Iran's Nobel Prize Due to 'Peaceful' Occupation of Iraq and Kuwait"
2014 - "China gains Nobel Peace Prize for Allowing Limited Democracy in Acquired Provinces of Taiwan, United Korea and Japan"
2015 - "U.S. Wins Peace Prize for Agreeing to Surrender Terms with Canada"



Leninka
Jerry Springer wins peace prize for bringing a pig and Mulah of a mosque together for a trip to Burger King for a bacon cheeseburger.I have no doubt about that!

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Comrade chrisb_504,
Yes, there is redneck in all of us. Even Comrades Pelosi, and Hillary.


