Why was Komrade Klinton in the woods?

Looky here, Komrade Klinton's coming out of the woods!



But why was she in the woods in the first place? Here are some of the leading theories from the Stierlitz Institute:

• She was tossed out to pasture by Donald "KKK for USA" Trump after losing but technically winning but technically losing the election.
• She went on an expedition to find the Fountain of Youth but was sorely disappointed when she found out that the fountain could only turn back 100 years of aging.
• She had to bury yet another accidental death.
• She was filming an episode of "Naked, Unafraid, and Unmedicated".
• Bill told her to close her eyes and count to 10 while he got away in a Viet Cong-style hidden underground tunnel.
• She got fed too much of the happy drugs and woke up in the woods.
• She was scouting out a new location for Shia LeBouf's flag.
• There was a bar in the middle of the woods.
• She was making a revolutionary new campaign speech to the flora and fauna in an effort to attract the environmentalist bloc.
• She's off her rocker.

 

The Empress has gathered her forces. It is good to know the Empress wil now finally take her promised place on the throne. The shadow government is almost done with its plotting. Soon he-who-should-not-be-named will be removed from power and the world of the living.

Let us not forget that our great father, Lenin, also hid in a modest forest hut while running from Trump supporters in the early years of the revolution, 3000 years ago. In the end, he was saved by laser-wielding dinosaurs. (Some of this information is not fake news, but who cares anyway).

Below a replica of Lenin's hut in Razliv.



 

Perhaps a mis-translation? "I am coming out Hollywood" may have been the correct statement for her to acknowledge her true feelings for Huma.
 

This is too easy. Hillary came out of the woods to give speeches for a half-a-million a pop and to let everyone know you can still buy influence. It's all about 2020.

Bill and Hill were like Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel in the movie The Producers. They'd sold a few thousand percent of their production "2016." The only way to really make out was to flop. Now they're going to do it all over again. There's a sucker born every minute.
 

Minitrue

Let us not forget that our great father, Lenin, also hid in a modest forest hut while running from Trump supporters in the early years of the revolution...
Indeed, Hillary has been consulting with Lenin in his wigwam in the woods. Only two photos were taken of that encounter, indicating that she and Lenin indeed practiced a revolution or two.





 

The woods remind her of Wellesley in the heyday of bury-the-frat-boy ceremonies. Time to re-emerge though, her well hidden keg of pre-mixed long island ice tea ran dry.
 

Comrade Stierlitz

There was a bar in the middle of the woods.
As in the Davy Crockett song, "kilt him a bar when he was only three"? If so, perhaps she was checking to see whether a bar truly does cr*p in the woods. What she will do with said cr*p is yet to be disclosed.
 

There have been sightings of Komrade Empress as she ventured out of the woods. A komrade from the European Airfleet of Workers and Peasants saw her during one of his sorties. I am happy to show you this propaganda poster commemorating the joyful occasion.




 

.

 

Red Square

Minitrue

Let us not forget that our great father, Lenin, also hid in a modest forest hut while running from Trump supporters in the early years of the revolution...
Indeed, Hillary has been consulting with Lenin in his wigwam in the woods. Only two photos were taken of that encounter, indicating that she and Lenin indeed practiced a revolution or two.

Lenin_Hillary_Woods_Razliv.jpg
Lenin_Razliv_Legs.jpg

But, who took the photos?
 

Pamalinsky

But, who took the photos?

It's a Party reconstruction. Back when Hill and Lenny talked, shooting in the woods like that was unpractical.
 

Comrade Stierlitz

Looky here, Komrade Klinton's coming out of the woods!



But why was she in the woods in the first place? Here are some of the leading theories from the Stierlitz Institute:

• She was tossed out to pasture by Donald "KKK for USA" Trump after losing but technically winning but technically losing the election.
• She went on an expedition to find the Fountain of Youth but was sorely disappointed when she found out that the fountain could only turn back 100 years of aging.
• She had to bury yet another accidental death.
• She was filming an episode of "Naked, Unafraid, and Unmedicated".
• Bill told her to close her eyes and count to 10 while he got away in a Viet Cong-style hidden underground tunnel.
• She got fed too much of the happy drugs and woke up in the woods.
• She was scouting out a new location for Shia LeBouf's flag.
• There was a bar in the middle of the woods.
• She was making a revolutionary new campaign speech to the flora and fauna in an effort to attract the environmentalist bloc.
• She's off her rocker.

No, no, no Comrade Stierlitz, you don’t understand. She claimed “Woods ownership” because of her Broadway fans. It has nothing to do with her coming out of anything, let alone, the woods.

I know most of you will only be able to endure about 4 seconds of this video but, here it is: The truth about Hillary’s visit into the woods:


Into the Woods is a musical with music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim and book by James Lapine. The musical intertwines the plots of several Brothers Grimm and Charles Perrault fairy tales, exploring the consequences of the characters' wishes and quests. The main characters are taken from "Little Red Riding Hood", "Jack and the Beanstalk", "Rapunzel", and "Cinderella", as well as several others. The musical is tied together by a story involving a childless baker and his wife and their quest to begin a family (the original beginning of The Grimm Brothers' Rapunzel), their interaction with a witch who has placed a curse on them, and their interaction with other storybook characters during their journey.

A Disney film adaptation directed by Rob Marshall and starring Meryl Streep, Emily Blunt, James Corden, Anna Kendrick, Chris Pine, Tracey Ullman, Christine Baranski and Johnny Depp was released in 2014. The film grossed over $213 million worldwide[2] and received three Academy Award nominations and three Golden Globe Award nominations.
 

Genosse Dummkopf

.


My Lenin, Comrade Kopf, that is disturbing. I mean,


That's REALLY creepy. You've caught a distilled essence of evil there!

Well done.

- SK
 

Pamalinsky

Red Square

Minitrue

Let us not forget that our great father, Lenin, also hid in a modest forest hut ...
Indeed, Hillary has been consulting with Lenin in his wigwam in the woods ... [two photos] ...
But, who took the photos?
Dear Comrade Pamalinsky, ever heard of TRUMP <spit!><spit!> campaign managers™? ah?
 

 

Papa Kalashnikook

Hey Papa,

We wait with great anticipation about what Hillary actually learned in the woods. I mean, do bears actually sh*t there? Do people actually hear trees falling? Is bark a nutritional treat waiting to be unleashed on the American public so we don't have to buy beef? So many questions, so little answers. Personally, I think Kelleyanne is responsible. If not, lets go for raw meat Manafort. I know, he was fired (resigned) but he is a useful foil for our purposes, which is delegitimizing Trump!
 

Pamalinsky over-estimated Craptek's patience when she

Comrade Stierlitz

Looky here, Komrade Klinton's coming out of the woods!

I know most of you will only be able to endure about 4 seconds of this video but, here it is: The truth about Hillary’s visit into the woods:



 

Captain Craptek

Pamalinsky over-estimated Craptek's patience when she

Comrade Stierlitz

Looky here, Komrade Klinton's coming out of the woods!

I know most of you will only be able to endure about 4 seconds of this video but, here it is: The truth about Hillary’s visit into the woods:

(actual measured time) Seconds endured = 2.4

Lightweight. I endured 56.06 seconds.
 

Craptek and Stierlitz. I must admit, you are much better men than I am. Amazing endurance! And Craptek, I posted this without looking, because I already know what it said. So, you win in the endurance department!