Three Pounds of beets peeled and cut into thin slices

Two quarts of water


Boil beets in water until tender.

Serve hot.

Always a holiday favorite.

Comrade Marxist,

How confusing!

Do I add beets to cold water, or wait until it is really boiling? How long does it take?
I tried the same approach using recycled motor oil, it never did come to a boil.

Maybe the secret is using new motor oil?

Beets like we used to make 'em back in th' gulag:

Beets a la Gulag (serves 6)
3 pounds of beets, peeled and sliced thinly
6 cedar shingles
Using a staple gun, attach the beet slices to the shingles
Roast over burning tire in a 55 gallon drum for 2 hours
peel off beet slices, throw 'em away, and eat the shingles.

An excellent source of fibre™ and I'm sure this would carry the FLOTUS (not to be confused with FLATUS) seall of approval

I am of such grateful gratitude for your delightful recipe, dear Groucho. Why, I was just rambling on saying the other day, how I would love more recipes and here you are, with more recipes. Isn't Obama great.
I would add that I add a wee touch and taste of the Peoples Vodka to the ingredient and pour it into a blender and waalaa - a lovely Winter Solstice tidings drink.
And it makes a festive holiday gift, does it not. (please be made aware those are NOT kidneys ... I was sued once, if you can believe it!! but the lovely beet, ready to drink)

Well, I usually like to start with a round house kick to the ribs,
then a series of slaps to the face and a rousing crotch stomping when the infidel is writhing on the ground in pain.

Oh my bad! I thought that said "Beat" recipes.


Okay, here's mine;

Smokey Beet Crisps.

Slice 2lbs of beets thinly.
Lay them on top of some very dry straw.
Set fire to straw until it burns out.
Add salty tears for taste.

Pickled Beets: Take a can of sliced or whole beets. open can, pour off some juice. Add apple cider vinegar to taste. Put open can in frig for 2 days.

Pickled Eggs and Beets: Dump several cans of whole beets in large jar, juice and all. Now add some peeled hard boiled eggs. Make a mixture of water, apple cider vinegar and sugar (to taste). Pour mixture into jar to cover eggs. Put jar in frig for at least 2 weeks until the eggs are purple through and through.

Roast Beets: Take unpeeled beets, place on pan, roast in oven for 1 hour at 350 degrees. When cool enough to handle, throw in garbage can. If you prefer purple stained fingers, peel first before throwing out.

I will have all these taste tips on beets preparation and samples a'plenty, at our Winter Solstice/New Year Celebratory 2010. I know you all can hardly wait but you must be patient.

Fraulein...you could tell them about the" Minced-Beetburger Deluxe " you made for yourself during that last office party........you know.... when Red Square was out of town............

Tasty, it was tasty... and what are you doing stealing my personal photoage and re-shopping the photoshop!?

My apologies, Fraulein. I, Krasnodar, meant no harm......but seeing exquisite personage of you with burger in other thread , then afterwards seeing you having still exquisite personage on this thread of beets gave me an idea of showing you holding a most equal sandwich, along with humorous look on your face.
Permissions from you were not asked because it was thought it would be of entertainments to you for coming across it.

Yum, those beet fries on the Frau's plate look delicious.

Here is an old family recipe handed down from my great grandfather dating back to right after the Glorious Peoples Revolution to end Tsarist Tyranny.

Items Required-
One shovel
One pickaxe
One large metal can
One match
Darkness

In the dead of night on the winter solstice, sneak into the neighbors beet field that was never harvested because he "disappeared".
Oh, I forgot to mention that your beets, carrots, onions, potatoes, etc were requisitioned by the local Comrade Commissar "for your own good".
With the shovel, clear the 2 feet of snow in a small area down until you find the top of a beet.
With the pickaxe, carefully chop at the frozen tundra for 15 minutes or so until you have dislodged a beet in a 5 kilo chunk of dirt.
With the shovel, carefully replace the snow and fill in your tracks so no one can tell you were there.
Take the metal can and wander out into the woods until you find a pine tree where you can scrape up some dry pine needles from underneath and fill the can.
On the way back to your one room hovel, break off a few dry dead branches from the trees as you wade through the snow.
When you get home , take the shovel and scoop the snow that has been filtering down the flue for the last fortnight, out of the fireplace. Dump the the pine needles and sticks into the fireplace, sprinkle your last few drops of vodka over them, and ignite the pine needles with your last match to get a good fire going.
Take the frozen beet you retrieved earlier, dirt and all , put it in the can and fill the can with snow and ice chunks.
Place the can in the fire just long enough to thaw the dirt and the beet. This is very important because no one must ever be able to detect the smell of something cooking!
Cut the beet into 12 slices and wash the knife in the dirty water and dry the knife immediately!

There you have it ! Christmas dinner for twelve.

Be sure to consume the beet, roots hull and top so that there is no evidence of it ever having existed.
Wait patiently for your door to be kicked open.
Beg forgiveness for having a fire in the fireplace without the proper permits.
Give him anything you have left that has some value. That unmatched sock with a hole in it will do.
Promise the Comrade Commissar that you will never again try to make dirt soup.
After he has moved on to the next hovel, empty the can outside and return it to its original use as a chamber pot.

Champion of the Peoples Tractor
Keeper of the Horse-Drawn Beet-Lifter

RED POWER

Krasnodar wrote:My apologies, Fraulein. I, Krasnodar, meant no harm......but seeing exquisite personage of you with burger in other thread , then afterwards seeing you having still exquisite personage on this thread of beets gave me an idea of showing you holding a most equal sandwich, along with humorous look on your face.
Permissions from you were not asked because it was thought it would be of entertainments to you for coming across it.

oh, nary you mind, dear comrade! I won't throttle you for having an expected interested in my personal photoage. Us gulag gals have this happen all the time.
Leninka, please, you should help your self to those fries, I, umm, will be very full of them (cough) and axious to share with the glorious collective.

Pertaining to Red Power's recipe for a "Christmas Dinner for Twelve"......

What left-minded soul would not jump at the chance to be part of a system that makes that way of life possible ! Merry MarXmas !

Krasnodar wrote: What left-minded soul would not jump at the chance to be part of a system that makes that way of life possible ! Merry MarXmas !

I'm sure that many jumped at the chance (while wearing a safety rope secured around their neck so that they wouldn't sprain an ankle landing on the floor).