It is time to reminisce over the triumph of revisionist history as they declare victory in the criminal war on terror. Nothing will conjure up this current triumph like this unearthing to relish over. The NEW historical revelation, the REAL transcript of FDR's last presidential press conference. It is December 11th, 1941 and cameras flash as the President wheels himself out to the conference desk...

The People's Network Reporter #1:
"Mr. President, we are firmly in your trench on warring with Japan. We will support the troops who will go to war there even though we question the logic of going to war with Japan in specific. I guess the 800 lbs gorilla in the room is whether or not war is even the answer here. Why haven't we gone through the proper channels with the League of Nations. I think this is a perfect time to sign up. Of course, even though we see no plan of attack or strategic outlay for our surrender, we will support this war mongering talk with Japan, although this declaration of war is a rush to judgment and sounds a bit excessive. How about we just declare war on Admiral Togo instead?"

FDR:
"We must bring the yellow man to his knees."

The People's Network Reporter #2:
"But why Mr. President, don't you think it was our fault that we left our Pacific fleet in Pearl Harbor in such a position of vulnerability sir? Maybe we should declare war on the US Navy? Wouldn't we stand a better chance of winning?"

The People's Network Reporter #3:
"Sounds to me maybe articles of impeachment should be at hand."

(room bursts out in applause)

The People's Network Reporter #4:
"Mr. President, Mr. President, what the American people really want to know is since we have our hands full with Japan, why don't we just ignore Germany's declaration of war against us?"

FDR:
"Because they wish to make war with us! The krauts are obviously committing carnage across the whole of Europe, including your Mother Russia. What more of an invitation would you like?"

The People's Network Reporter #5:
"But Mr. President, a German has not fired a single gun shot at an American. It will be many years before they have the capability of delivering on their war declaration. Words are just words Mr. President! Don't you fear being called a war monger yourself for this?"

FDR:
"Call me a war monger all you like, just be prepared for forced indefinite labor in a Nevadan uranium mine shaft by the end of the week."

The People's Network Reporter #6:
"But Mr. President, I think that we are on to something here, isn't it true that you bought and stole the democratic nomination last year for an unprecedented third presidential term so you can antagonize the great, proud and ancient cultures of the Germans and Japanese by lending support to their enemies? It sounds to me like your meddling in these nation's affairs and your racist actions since the last election that brought this war upon us."

The People's Network Reporter #7:
"Yes, I fear that this whole unjust war is a failure on our part to understand the cultures of those we have gone to war with. I second that motion for an article of impeachment!"

The People's Network Reporter #8:
"Mr. President, you still haven't answered us, why Germany? Why now? Our weak and faltering Atlantic fleet is mobilizing for North Africa, how on earth will an attack on North Africa lead to a German capitulation? Why are you escalating the violence to the poor North Africans? What have they done to us?!"

FDR:
"They are worthless sand people."

The People's Network Reporter #9:
"Clearly Japan is a superior fighting force and we are nothing but weak and soft geishings, and it has been over three full days now since the so called Pearl Harbor attack and you still have not told us what your military strategy is for Japanese surrender!"

FDR:
"We will strike a blow to the slanty eye! For starters, I will never hire military commanders like George Marshall, Dwight Eisenhower and Douglas Macarthur to wage this war! I will call the shots on this war, just like Congressman Johnson will when he is president in a future military industrial complex war with the yellow man, twenty some years from now. You are permitted to see an advance copy of both attack plans, please see my security chief out in the lawn shed right after this conference."

The People's Network Reporter #10:
"I am not feeling very warm and fuzzy inside about this Mr. President. As someone who avoided military service throughout your youth, how on earth do you have the authority and gumption to draft and send millions of our boys off to war and die for your empirical warmongering visions?"

FDR:
"I guess I should be envisioning a Gore Vidal novel sometime soon..."

The People's Network Reporter #11:
"We as a nation are still waiting for the evidence of a Japanese attack at Pearl Harbor. In the absence of any such evidence Mr. President, I think that you have shown more than enough motivation to plan and execute this attack yourself. I do believe that an oversight committee and a score of documentary funding is needed to cleanse the air on this!"

FDR:
"I have a terrific pain in my head. I am getting a premonition of America at war again in the distant future, sixty some odd years from now. I see two lurking, corpselike frankenberry figures in my aching hemorrhaging brain, one whitey, one half whitey. Both will run for president consecutively, with their claims to political fame being forged by calling our troops in action war criminals and whom will have the audacity to run for office as legitimate wartime presidents. One of them will actually exclaim that they are “reporting for duty!”. Oh, the agony. This meeting is adjourned. A cattle car out front awaits all of you! And make sure that idiot Mike Wallace is on it also!"

Reporter #12:
"Mr. President, before you gimp away to your New Hyde Park crypt, how about a few last poses in the wheel chair?"

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! A glorious satire, Comrade! Of course, real reporters would never speak to an American president like that, especially during wartime. [Sigh] If only we could send today's MSM to Cuba or North Korea, so that they could get a taste of what freedom of the press is all about! But they are so underpaid, they cannot afford tickets; maybe if we took up a collection?

Why yes, I think they can be collected, because only in the truly free societies of Cuba and North Korea can you be collected and put to real and purposeful use on the collective farm. Only then it will be clearly understood by all, who the hell needs a free press with all this important work to do on the collective? This is why revisionist history is so very relevent and important to free society!