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Competition is a barbaric, insensitive ritual that reeks of social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive on our pages. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy and striving as a collective. In the spirit of diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism our contests shall have no winners. Everyone is declared a loser, which in our book means an ethical team player.

CAPTION CONTEST: Obama Truck Selflessly Sacrifices Self

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In what may well be a metaphor for the current White House policies, the "Obama" truck selflessly sacrifices self to pull poor man's boat into the water.

But perhaps you have a different take on the situation. Share it with the collective!

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This was obviously driven by Senator Kennedy. It was bruited about that Senator Kennedy was indeed dead but as we know, Senator Kennedy had not made use of his brain since he hired someone to take his Spanish test in college. Or before that time. And since he was seen by the professor at a baseball game while the Spanish test was going on.

There are efforts to revivify Senator Kennedy to assume the Kennedy Senate seat, and I am delighted to find that they are proceeding beautifully--the drunk drove the truck into the drink.

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Would it be correct to say that the Kennedy Seat is perpetually wet? Or am I confusing it with the Kennedy Car Seat?

Could there be a headline there, something about Kennedy Seat surfacing at an online auction but turns out to be Kennedy Car Seat?

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That lake could be the result of his Depends leaking.

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In fact, the bent-over guy next to the boat looks suspiciously like Ted Kennedy. Might as well be him.

He's always been confused about priorities and whether to put the cart in front of the horse or the other way around.


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He's the little gremlin in the White House always running around knocking over lamps and putting salt in the sugar bowl of State and trying to make real people like Obama look bad. Little gremlin Bush. He drove Obama's truck into the lake. Little gremlin Bush is always hiding in the shadows snickering over what mischief he'll do next.

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It was Bush that caused the fall of the Roman Empire. It was Bush that assassinated Alexander's father Philip. It was Bush that diverted the asteroid into the earth 65 million years ago which caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.

It is Bush that makes people fat. It is Bush that...oh hell. We know that Bush is the devil.

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Contrary to earlier statements, Obama Administration officials hinted new bailouts may be required.
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GM, whose new truck is shown here, claims government officials demanded they incorporate features into the vehicle that the public would see little use for.
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After the failure of the Copenhagen conference, panic-stricken moonbats environmentalists rushed to prepare for the disastrous rise in sea levels predicted by AGW proponents.
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Al Gore's latest invention, dubbed The Carboat, reinforces his reputation for creativity and foresightedness combined with an environmentally-friendly small carbon footprint.

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Opiate, is that the successor to the Holy Gore's yacht, the Bio-Solar I? Is this the Bio-Solar II?

I think that part of the stimulus package ought to have been to hire marketing majors who flunked out of ITT Technical Institute to name AlGore's projects.

Or buy him a Magic Eight Ball.

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Obviously our gravitas, grandiose Leader was just trying to share with the collective and his plan, as with most of his plans, ran amuck.

oooops.


Perhaps another 'shovel ready' plan, stuck in the moat?

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I see the problem. He thought that since he had an Obama decal his truck could walk on water too.

Caption: OBAMA DECAL DOESN'T LET TRUCKS WALK ON WATER.

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[Sigh] This motorist plainly has not achieved a true understanding of the proper truck-boat relationship. He is obviously getting the same quality of advice on sailing as Obama gets on the economy. There is only one way the media can report this:

Caption: Obama voters found to be above-average in intelligence.


Theocritus, I must ask what become of the Gorey One's Bio-Solar I? Did it melt down in the extremely hot water of the Artic Ocean or is it stuck in the ice off the coast of Florida? No matter, it's all Bush's fault for not forcing the Senate to sign the Kyoto accord during Bill Clinton's term. So he should pay the damages as well as for Gore's new boat.

Caption: Gore proposes new technique for trapping vehicle carbon emissions.

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This just in: Martha Coakley drives into Poucha Pond in quest to save Teddy Kennedy's seat. Associates tried to warn her it was his old senate seat she was supposed to persue, not his old Oldsmobile's drivers seat, but could not stop her in time.
Film at 11.

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A cash for plunkers deal?

I'm just angry it's a Ford. . . wait a minute, here is a perfect metaphor as to what will happen to them in a few years!

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Caption: President Obama pilots the Ship of State.

Opiate, the Bio-Solar I is in a lake which doesn't have bio-diesel. And until someone pointed it out, it had no solar panels either. But the Holy Gore doesn't care--it is His opinion that matters and calling it the Bio-Solar I means that it has sanctified.

For he buys carbon credits, you know, and doesn't he even have a company for trading in them?

A very equal comrade like the Holy Gore gets to do what he wants to do, even more than Pinkie does. (I'm still pissed at her having a monopoly on Beet of the Week. I personally think that she's colluding with Pupovich against me.)

The Holy Gore gives speeches for large honoraria and insists that the limo be kept running lest he get hot or cold. And he arrives on private jets.

I aspire to be as equal as that.

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That is a woman's truck. Only a woman with no man in her life would be shameless enough to drive a virgin white pickup with the name of her crush prominently emblazoned on it like a tattoo or wishful thinking on her Hannah Montana notebook.

Maybe she could get Scott Brown to swing by in his GM pickup to haul it out.

What did Obama say about Scott Brown's truck on Sunday when he was stumping for Marcia in Massachusettes? Something about driving it backwards, and that anyone can own a truck? (But not an armor-plated Obamabile or their own jumbo jet.)

How quickly the Left forgets that when Janet Reno ran for governor of Florida in 2002, her gimmick was driving around the state in a red pickup truck:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,46590,00.html

"Janet is now about to get behind the wheel of her pickup truck and tour the state and let Floridians get to talk to her and hear her and get to know her," said campaign manager Mo Elleithee.
Reno's 1999 red Ford Ranger has become the symbol of her campaign, part of an attempt to foster the image of a folksy, down-to-earth candidate willing to make tough decisions.

I seem to recall at some point she had a fender bender with it, but in the end she never made it past the primary and Jeb Bush handily won re-election.

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The reason that she was not elected was that they found a child that she'd given up for adoption:
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