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Competition is a barbaric, insensitive ritual that reeks of social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive on our pages. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy and striving as a collective. In the spirit of diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism our contests shall have no winners. Everyone is declared a loser, which in our book means an ethical team player.

Caption: What Are They Looking At?

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House Speaker Nancy Pelosi looks at a bottle of yellow liquid with Rep. Jim McDermott during a tour in Seattle.

Pelosi_McDermott.jpg

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Ted Kennedy's stool sample. The high alcohol content has overloaded his systems and he needs to expel the same substance from his back door.

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This must be the famed Pixie Juice Extract produced at Seattle Branch of Karl Marx Treatment Center - ultimate alternative fuel that is guaranteed to bring progressive Democrats to power in every election for the next millennium.

We must decisively stop rumors that Pixie Juice Extract is nothing more than Ted Kennedy's stool samples resulting from his consumption of "Delirium Tremens" cocktails, which isn't enough to fuel the entire US economy but only Speaker Pelosi's 767 jet.

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Judging by the zombie-like appearance of Rep. Jim McDermott, I believe the contents of that bottle contain what is left of his brain (voting Democrat and supporting progressive policies can indeed lead to a liquefied brain over time). His brain (like many other progressive leaders) will be recycled in their twilight years and transformed into a new Demokrat energy drink for kollege students called Indrinktrination.

Rep. McDermott: Daaaahhhh, dat my brain in dat bottle!

Madam Speaker: That's right, Jim! Your noble sacrifice will help many of Amerika's youth to become life-long Party members just like you!

Rep. McDermott: Daah, whatever you say lady! I have to go poop now! Bye Bye!

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Jim McDermott: "Looks like urine, smells like urine, tastes like urine... What is it?"

Pelosi: "It's my Pixie Juice, Jim. Made it myself."

Jim McDermott: "Delicious. May I have another sip?"

Pelosi and McDermott avoid fatwa by showing respect for sacred effluent collected from new school Muslim foot washing facility.

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Looks like Jim is trying to hold back a dooker.

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Alright!
Looks like Jim got my sediment.
I sent it to him but never got a thank you note back.
The nerve!

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Dammit Punchenko, I"M the only brain in jar around here!

What's actually being said:

"Yes, Jim, gaze upon it: the Elixir Vitae, the secret to everlasting youth! I am done with botox forever!

Whatever it is, I'm sure it doesn't taste great (although it may be less filling).

captaincarver
It's true Jim....You don't buy beer you rent it!

I told you Jim. We only need half a cup for your drug test.

ekimwar
I'm going to brand it as PEE-LOSI;
my very best solution for all our
problems

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Premier Betty wrote:Ted Kennedy's stool sample. The high alcohol content has overloaded his systems and he needs to expel the same substance from his back door.
Hahahahhahahahahahha. . .

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The tears of small children & the urine of the damned.

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Amazing! You have a bladder bigger than an elephant!


 
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