The People's Cube Smiley Schema Non-Challenge

Glorious Red Square,

I am so happy you have reinstated the People's Cube Smiley Schema Non-Challenge. I humbly submit the following modified Wal-Mart Smiley Schema for consideration in the Non-Competition for a new People's Wal-Mart Symbol. I reject the term 'Logo' on principle, with its connotations of a competition-based marketing-reliant kapitalist business model (Ptui!) which is therefore anathema to the Party's and the People's natural propensity for State Mandated Altruism.



When the Revolution reclaims Wal-Mart, I look forward to redeeming my ration coupons for the sustenance and labour output of the Party. I excitedly await placing my offspring in the edifying embrace of more appropriately skilled State-provided commune members (Nannies) at the Wal-Mart crèche. I hold breath - and pencil and paper - in anticipation of proximity that my trading experience will afford me to suspiciously private neighbours from Building #6, Unit # 87 who I would not otherwise be able to casually observe. The revolution cannot come soon enough - particularly as I would very very very much like Unit #87 in Building #6 for myself, and will then be able to furnish it with utilitarian fare from The People's Wal-mart.

Fellow Comrades Cubist,
I hope that others of The Cube will join me in this Non-Competition for the greater good of the Party and the People.

Out of curiosity, what don't I win?
S.M.O.
 

Can it be considered a smiley if it isn't smiling?
 

Premier Betty

Can it be considered a smiley if it isn't smiling?
Is very good point Betty, but I think in this instance, and particularly since Red Square included Uncle Soso in the examples in tender for proposals and 'he' is not smiling that we can tell, is okay.  I choose to believe that under their moustaches they are happy, and that when the Revolution comes, the Smileys will change overnight... and is only schema.

... Besides.. Revolution is serious business.  

Overthrow and Undermine Now - Smile Later... and Have a Nice Day...
 

Premier Betty

Can it be considered a smiley if it isn't smiling?

Maybe instead of "smileys" they should be called "smellies." Real revolutionaries are proud to stink of struggle. Che rarely took a bath. I wonder what else they could be called? Schadenfreudies is too long and doesn't really ring. There's a word that starts with "s" for the discharge uncircumcised men have, that cheezy stuff between the penis and the foreskin that might well do, but it won't come to mind right now.
 

Schadenfreudies sounds like a breakfast cereal...  I think you mean "smegma"... and really... I just would rather not... without even taking the Party's wishes into consideration in this matter... please...
 

Margaret & SMO: There's nothing that a little Lysol can't cure.



Perhaps Margaret meant the word "smear?"

As for the progressive emoticons, there's a bunch of words I can think of:

marxies
meanies
commies
dearleadies
glaries
chomskies
(chomsky always sounded to me like some informal internet chat thingie that teens use - now we know what it means!)
 

I personally like 'marxies'  or 'commies'.  Nice ring to them, rolls off the tongue.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
 

sharies...
commies... teeheehee...that's funny...
fairies... teeheehee...
purgeys...
karlies

oh, oh, oh!!!  PROLIES!

And the slogan could reflect the Progress of The Party reclaiming Wal-mart for The People...

The People's Progressive Walmart
SMILE! WE ROLL FORWARD FOR THE PEOPLE
 

In the future all smilies (or prolies) will have to be converted from the current reactionary round shape to progressive squares!

A pilot store ready to accept customers for proletarian acquisition already exists:

http://che-mart.com

Che-Mart
We smell for less!


 

I demand that the Party enlist Boy George to serve as a lifelong door greeter (complete with red vest, reflectors and broom) Social-Justice will not be complete until he/she/it does.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

I demand that the Party enlist Boy George to serve as a lifelong door greeter (complete with red vest, reflectors and broom) Social-Justice will not be complete until he/she/it does.
<heavy sigh>... Well... I can see that it's getting close to bed-time...
 

<heavier sigh>... Well... I can see someone is not willing to have total Social-Justice for the masses. SMO, this "thing" must PAY for YEARS of AWFUL MUSIC.
 

Meow...
Think on this tactic.. please... it is perhaps cutting off one's nose to spite their face, or shooting in one's own foot for reasons other than pleasure... What is to be gained by exposing The People to MORE of that, even if it does serve the purpose of re-edukating a thought-criminal?  By all mean, re-edukate away, but having just liberated the People's Wal-mart, why soil it in this way?  Do you really want to hurt me, while I redeem my ration coupons?  Do you really want to make me cry?  In dirty kapitalista terms, I believe they call this "sub-optimization"... Can't we just make him/her/it/thing/whatever be Kulak Kompost turner or something?  I beg you...
 

No... I have strict orders by a lobby... I mean... hang on, let me start again.

*Errhhmmm*

I have recently recieved a generous contrib.... Damn, still no good.

*One more time*

The other day a group of concerned activist approached me at my office DEMANDING that the one Boy George be sentenced for Crimes Against Humanity. Now then, this group of concerned activist happen to have a boat load of mone... a boat load of revolution that will better serve my agen.... that will better serve us all. Therefore; I have accepted their paymen... errhmm... I have accepted their plea and have brib....petitioned, I mean.... numerous officials within the Guild and the ACLU to send him off to a local participating People's Wal-Mart to begin his state sanctioned services.
 

Meow...
Now that you put it in those terms I understand completely and will be sending you my offshore account numbers shortly (I still have not received a korrekt credit card number for your 'calls' BTW)... So... I think perhaps there is a way this can work for the betterment of ALL... Wal-Mart being the ubiquitous Kapitalista Competitionist Blight that it is, there are many locations... some more appropriate than others - some where locals have 'purdier mouths' than others and do better pig squealing impressions - where a thought-criminal might be properly re-edukated while doing little harm.  It might serve well, to have him/her/it/thingy/fungus in a more kontrolled environment where locals have little patience for the unusual, and then if she/he/it/golem/reptile were to begin to be a problem they would know exactly how to handle the situation... Do you think your yachting activist(s) would find this solution acceptable...

... more to the point, before hermaphrodite is placed, will my offshore account numbers be properly utilized as agreed upon?  I am in no mood to dither with you after the sheer volume of spew Pravda and I have had to wade through on your account of late, despite your indisputable charms.  So?  May I now go and watch The People's Idol with my mind calm in the knowledge that this 'placement' will be for the benefit of ALL?
 

Of course.... Little Rock is the perfect place for he/she/it/science-experiment to serve his/her/its sentence. Hmmm, off-shore accounts... lemme pull out my little red book of places...hmmm..yes...interesting. OK, well South Africa works, lemme see, oh yes, Venezeula is a no no... Hugo might Nationalize everything soon, so it would be wise to move whatever you had planted there to maybe.... Ahh yes! Barbados! Perfect! JUST PERFECT! Yes, I will send the funds to an off-shore account in Barbados.... ask for Rodney. The secretary I'm not sleeping with will give you the number... ask for "Cromwells Crumpet".
 

Meow,
You are a Kommisar and a gentleman.  Have I told you about my winter place in Barbados - most convenient account as well.  I will have Vouk crate up the specimen and we'll keep it in the empty root cellar until funds are confirmed... and then boy/girl/creature/varmint/quadruped will be off to the home of Slick William to learn about making the common folk comfortable and which aisle the canned meat is kept in.

I believe all in all a job well done!  It's Stoli time!
 

The Commie Emojis belong on this thread.