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Competition is a barbaric, insensitive ritual that reeks of social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive on our pages. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy and striving as a collective. In the spirit of diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism our contests shall have no winners. Everyone is declared a loser, which in our book means an ethical team player.

The Winter What?

Fellow comrades:

It has come to my attention that the fascist nation of Italy has decided to open its doors to the world...for the Winter Olympics. As we all know, these facists have always promoted these hated competitions, and the this year's Olympics are no exception. We know that those who win gold makes everyone else feel bad. It's unethical to do this, and we need to ban these games. Everyone must lose in order for us to be able to be a society winner as a whole.

So make sure that you do not promote competition, and don't be cheering for our teams (oops...I mean, a section of our people). We must be equals...plus, if we have "athletes", that implies that the rest of us are not athletic.

Preventing the competition among the people,
Vladimir Ivanov
Marxton, District of Commissars, USSA

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But Comrade Ivanov, we must praise these olympics this year for the progressive attitude they have presented in this act of "competition". Yes, I agee it is undermining the self-esteem of billions of people and should be banned. But it has taken on a more progressive role now. One that celebrates pagan paegentry and traditions. Even Susan Sarandon had a part this year, the actress/progressive activist/hooker had a wonderful and triumphant role being one of the womyn to parade the olympic flag out in all its symbolic grace as a symbol of internationalist world unity all under the glorious banner of socialism. Instead of banning the events, let us just use it as a mouth piece to denounce the war in Iraq and reward all participants with a copy of Das Kapital. I mean come on, if we can control the media and the courts in this country, the olympic committee should be a cake walk.

In support of a Revolutionary Olympic internationalist coordinating committee for the common good.

Chairman Meow

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Don't forget that it provides lots of targets for our suicide bomber brethren.


 
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