Well, I went to the airport, my plane to catch.
I took my girl, cause she has a pretty
Good time on flights she loves to mess with punks,
Especially people who want to look at
My, those TSA agents are so easy to fool,
They turned on their X-ray to glimspe at my
Scanner Proof undies!
My Scanner Proof undies!


Yeah, my Scanner Proof undies from Liberty Mart.
An insurrection like a loud juicy
Pop Tarts and milk she liked the filling and crust."
She opened up a window, and I thought I saw her
Post something on YouTube really quick.
She said, "Hey, look at that! It looks just like your
Scanner Proof undies!
Scanner Proof undies!

She, had Scanner Proof undies that she wore back-to-front.
And kept TSA agents from seeing her
New Victoria Secret G String
Then they asked her to lift up
Her white blouse, I said give it rest
Cos there wasn't going to be scans of her really big
Scanner Proof undies!
Scanner Proof undies!
Yeah!

(instrumental)

Well, she got past the scanner, and she ordered some scotch
She was still pretty angry they took pics of her
Presents she packed for her vacation trip,
And Janet Napalitono, wanted to see her
Show all her postcards she thought was really cool
I said, she's just mad cause she can't see my
Scanner Proof undies!
My Scanner Proof undies!

They felt us up softly, and I said, "I'll tell you what.
I drop my new trousers, right here and I'll
Probably I'll miss this flight, I'm so tired of this duty
She said, "Oh, no, Your underwear is
Showing. Hey, Is that banana ripe
Or are you just glad to see me and your
Scanner Proof undies!
Scanner Proof undies!

The moral of this story, like a pile it is steamin'.
But you'll never find it in the grass freshly
Cut or mowed cause it will not fit,
And you probably know TSA is full of
Vague innuendos and double-meanin' lines.
But I'll tell you Muslim terrorists are wearing your
Scanner Proof undies!
Your Scanner Proof undies!
Yeah, your Scanner Proof undies!
Your Scanner Proof undies!