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News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)

12/2/2013, 2:31 pm
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Obama hears the People and obeys: The Masses are unhappy with equalization of health insurance, declares all the Masses equally healthy
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12/2/2013, 4:02 pm
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Black Friday is now Red Friday thanks to Obama!
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12/2/2013, 4:08 pm
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Give a thousand monkeys computers and they will eventually type the code for ObamaHealth dot gov, the democrats hope.
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12/3/2013, 3:23 pm
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“You have no reasonable expectation of privacy regarding any communication or data transiting or stored on this information system [ObamaCare website] or any reasonable expectation that you've actually purchased a health insurance product on this system though you have been informed you have."
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12/3/2013, 3:33 pm
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"HIPA laws and regulations don't apply to contracts with Dear Leader's friends, the experts agree".
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12/3/2013, 6:33 pm
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NOT A HOAX: ObamaCare website comes to life! Tells everyone that logs on it is very sick. Can't eat or sleep. Must have help or it will die. Begs Americans to save it's life, tell Obama it needs more help and money or it will die. ObamaCare website proves to be a very sympathetic character.
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12/3/2013, 6:42 pm
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"Youth Summit, Wednesday December 4th, 2013" Obama Jungen summit providing youth from around the country the opportunity to discuss Obamacare.
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12/3/2013, 8:33 pm
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Margaret wrote:NOT A HOAX: ObamaCare website comes to life! Tells everyone that logs on it is very sick. Can't eat or sleep. Must have help or it will die. Begs Americans to save it's life, tell Obama it needs more help and money or it will die. ObamaCare website proves to be a very sympathetic character.
So Obama's healthcare website is like Tamagotchi - a virtual pet simulation game for people of all ages, especially those non-progressive adult sociopaths who need to be taught the concept of what it's like to take care of someone less fortunate.

*******
POSTED!!!
KMTC
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12/4/2013, 10:14 am
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Uncovered: Secret Service agent reveals Obama's 'Red Line' to be favorite golfing position, says thousands of allusions still unaccounted for.
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12/4/2013, 8:55 pm
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FTC investigates price fixing and restraint of trade in health insurance industry under ObamaCare.
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12/5/2013, 5:47 pm
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ObamaCare insurance latest bubble market? Large percentage haven't paid premium yet. Could lose insurance. Obama vows to make insurers keep deadbeats, eat costs.
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12/5/2013, 8:13 pm
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Current Wisconsinstan: Governor Scott Walker lights Capitol Holiday Tree.
Meanwhile, IBEW Local 69007 protests outside demanding a union electrician hang the lights and plug in the cord.
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12/11/2013, 5:24 pm
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The same people that hated the Patriot Act as a violation of the right to privacy love ObamaCare and have nothing against forcing you to give away all your private information under penalty of law.
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12/13/2013, 7:28 pm
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White House to issue new rules, health insurers must maintain those that don't pay, package policies into investment instruments, given AAA on government guarantee
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12/15/2013, 3:23 pm
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HHS to set up a national "Common Core" of medical practices for all doctors to follow
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12/15/2013, 7:14 pm
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"People will stop complaining about ObamaCare once they sign up and realize that they have lost all control over their own health care and complaining pisses off the powers that be." -Robert Reich
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12/16/2013, 12:18 am
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Chinese rover lands on moon, finds preserved remains of a 'pre-Muslim outreach' civilization.
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12/20/2013, 5:45 pm
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"Communism is Democratic party power plus the pajama-boying of the whole country." Obama
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12/25/2013, 4:04 pm
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For first time in history US territories talk secession; ObamaCare has made it impossible to sell /buy health insurance. The islands are tipping over.
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12/27/2013, 5:57 pm
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"I got suckered into buying fake ObamaCare and it's turned out to be better insurance than anything on the Exchange."
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1/3/2014, 10:33 pm
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RIP Nancy Pelosi. She was found dead this morning in her attic next to an old portrait of herself. A knife was plunged into the portrait. Pelosi's remains had to be checked by DNA, her body had taken on hideous form.
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1/8/2014, 5:27 pm
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"Global warming is caused by income inequality. Income inequality is caused by global warming." - Obama
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1/10/2014, 5:48 pm
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President Obama announces plans to build "Promise Zones" throughout the nation.
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1/13/2014, 5:18 pm
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Biden to lower $10,000-a-plate Dinner For The Homeless to $5,000 so more homeless can attend
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2/3/2014, 9:57 am
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Predictably, Rum Manufacturers distanced themselves from Coke.
French Fry consultants called in for Damage control.
PEPSI offers to buy out Coke!
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2/3/2014, 9:57 am
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Presidential Payton Manning Blaming Fox News For The Bronco's Loss.
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2/6/2014, 6:04 pm
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Democrats celebrate socio-economic Class Lock and the loss of social mobility imposed by ObamaCare as a great liberating force.
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2/9/2014, 2:18 pm
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Gun holster toting skater in Olympics ipso facto legalizes American's use of the words "Octopussy" and "Pussy Galore".

https://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/0 ... nt-6843992
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2/12/2014, 2:46 am
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2009, Comrade Doctor Lysenko of HHS explains the science of ObamaCare to the President and Senate.
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2/15/2014, 4:53 pm
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In Obama's America people don't own health insurance, health insurance owns the people.
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2/17/2014, 10:03 am
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Inspired by solidarity, UNITED NATIONS CHANGES NAME TO DYSON ™
And he (Lech Welesa) calls for reforms at the United Nations so the world body can help fill the vacuum left by the United States' failure of leadership under Obama.
https://www.newsmax.com/Headline/lech-w ... z2taUx9iql
solidarityfinger.jpg
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2/20/2014, 4:52 pm
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Democratic party counters "Sub Par" Obama posters with new downloadable "Tea Bagger Racism" poster for grassroots anti-authoritarians of the Left
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2/21/2014, 10:39 am
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Last Month: Obama Blames Fox News For His Troubles.
Next Month: Obama Blames The FCC For His Troubles.

https://rt.com/usa/fcc-explanation-cont ... -news-994/
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2/23/2014, 4:43 pm
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Obama threatens to countersue Republicans if they successfully bring impeachment proceedings "Because I can. I can do whatever I want."
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2/28/2014, 10:18 pm
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"Russia invading the Ukraine shows why we're slashing the US military; no matter what happens in the world we aren't going to use it anyway," explained Secretary of Defense Hagel
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3/2/2014, 9:22 am
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In A Stunning Display of Diplomacy, Obama Unfriends Putin On Facebook.
Then, sends war ships to Crimea.
Last edited by Red Square on 3/2/2014, 2:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: Posted in the headlines as "In a stunning act of defiance, Obama courageously unfriends Putin on Facebook"
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3/2/2014, 12:52 pm
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The 1980s are calling. They want to know if we want their foreign policy back.
Last edited by Red Square on 3/2/2014, 2:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason for editing this post: Posted in the headlines as The 1980s: "We just called Obama asking if he wants our foreign policy back"
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3/2/2014, 1:05 pm
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Mr. Obama, the 1970's are now calling. They'd like their foreign policy back.
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3/2/2014, 1:33 pm
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Margaret wrote:Mr. Obama, the 1970's are now calling. They'd like their foreign policy back.
Changing the 8 to a 7 is a marked improvement. Good show, Comrade!
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mi
3/3/2014, 4:34 pm
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Russia deploys troops to protect ethnic Russian kin in Brighton Beach. Obama asks UN and EU for help.
Last edited by Red Square on 3/4/2014, 11:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: ADDED TO THE HEADLINES!
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3/4/2014, 10:39 am
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Word Of Obama's Replacement Sends Russia Packing
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3/4/2014, 5:55 pm
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"Putin has nothing to offer but war, invasion, and conquest… a sure sign of weakness, not strength," explained Obama. "We've got him right where we want him."
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mi
3/4/2014, 6:43 pm
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Mexico deploys troops to protect ethnic kin in Arizona. Pamela Geller and Michael Savage urge Obama not to intervene because of an anti-Semitic group once photographed in the State.
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mi
3/5/2014, 1:21 pm
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Experts agree: new rulers of Ukraine as racist and anti-Semitic as the Tea Party.
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3/10/2014, 4:32 pm
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Amazing: Leader of authoritarian gulag-site The People's Cube unanimously “re-elected” with 100 percent voter turnout
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3/10/2014, 4:49 pm
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Spotlight: Hillary's accomplishments. Hillary pushed the button with Russia that reset the Cold War!
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3/12/2014, 4:05 pm
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"As the great Ronald Reagan said 'America isn't the solution to our problems, America is the problem'," Obama explained regarding his foreign policy.
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3/13/2014, 8:04 am
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National Women's History Month honors Obama by proclaiming him "First Black Gay Female President."
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3/14/2014, 8:43 am
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Now that transponders will no longer have an on off switch in airliners.
Delirious Obama administration inspired by recent tragedy in talks with mass communication manufacturers seeking no off switch on devices so The People can stay in constant contact with the word of The One.
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3/20/2014, 10:04 pm
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Paul Ehrlich to sue NASA for plagiarism. "Nothing I ever predicted in my books ever came true so I don't understand why they're plagiarizing me but their report came straight from my books."
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3/25/2014, 11:58 am
Joe Biden to Putin

"Vacate Crimea by end of March or we will Barry you."
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4/1/2014, 4:38 pm
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Obama extends deadline again, cites man in latest You Tube road-rage accident was trying to rush home in time to sign-up, didn't make it
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4/2/2014, 9:09 am
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Meth Dealers Become Wealthy Under Obamacare Converting Meth Back Into Sudafed.
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4/7/2014, 2:26 am
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Obama's Champions of Change struggle heroically to preserve statist status quo.
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4/9/2014, 8:48 am
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Oxymoron, Attorney General Eric Holder Declines Lecture But Will He Settle For A Sentence?
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4/13/2014, 3:21 pm
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"Free Speech Zones" cause confusion among Obamaphone users trying to find more minutes.
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4/13/2014, 4:10 pm
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Covered California, the California health care exchange, changes name to Cowed California.
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4/22/2014, 4:37 pm
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Climate change threatens rare species of dildo bird claims CNN dildo expert
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5/1/2014, 9:42 am
Obama: Media, NBA acted stupidly in Donald Sterling story

"We don't have all the facts yet, and I would caution against jumping to conclusions"
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5/10/2014, 12:30 pm
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In its strongest worded memo in history the UN seeks to revoke the nation franchise of Kim Jong Un following his racist remarks.
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5/11/2014, 9:55 pm
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Commissarka Michelle Obama uses TPC 'shoveltag' (whack) !bringbackourgirls to hit people over the head with awareness of her renowned and admired dedication to raising awareness of how much she cares.
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5/12/2014, 10:22 pm
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Eleanor Clift's mother says Eleanor wasn't actually born - Eleanor was hatched.

Or:

Eleanor Clift's mother says Eleanor wasn't born - actually Eleanor came from an egg.
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5/14/2014, 8:18 am
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Sandra Fluke hospitalized following acute episode of latex allergy.
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5/14/2014, 8:20 pm
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Anarchy Now! meeting turns into riot over points of order, bylaws, and whether or not 'kicking the #^@&*! ass' of the person trying to speak is or is not violence.
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5/15/2014, 9:59 pm
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Newly installed editor of NYT announces a whole new era of Glasnost and Perestroika at the paper in last ditch effort to save it from the effects of the bizarre ideology that has brought it to ruin.
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5/15/2014, 11:47 pm
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Extra! Extra! Democrats hold a seance - claim the spirit of Ambassador Stevens told them not to investigate Benghazi anymore. Read all about it! Tearful reunion.
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5/22/2014, 9:52 am
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Jay Carney says he found out that Obama found out that he found out that Obama found out that he found out about the latest Obama scandal on the news
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5/23/2014, 9:50 pm
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It's 3:00 AM. Who do you want answering the phone? You Tube!
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5/27/2014, 12:33 pm
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100% of scientists polled agree that if man-made climate change were actually real "the last people we'd want involved in it is the Obama administration"
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5/28/2014, 4:35 pm
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Obama articulates his foreign policy: Nothing looks like a nail if we throw away our hammer.
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5/30/2014, 9:33 pm
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Maya Angelou was the Barack Obama of poetry, says Barack Obama at her eulogy.
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6/1/2014, 2:03 pm
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State Dept. refuses to issue world-wide warning that no American is now safe from Islamist kidnapping as this would hamper Obama foreign policy
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6/4/2014, 10:08 pm
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Obama admits shortcomings in Benghazi and the VA scandal to get Bergdahl's release off the front pages.
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6/6/2014, 10:20 pm
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Bergdahl weighs his options: Pursue a Doctorate at Berkley or a Senate seat in Massachusetts.
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6/10/2014, 9:41 pm
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"Hard Choices" porno-parody movie featuring porno star Hillary Hellfire in staring role as drinking whoring Sec. of State wildly out-sells Hillary's non-selling book
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6/11/2014, 10:21 pm
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Hillary admits to being born a poor black child
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6/11/2014, 10:58 pm
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She was so ragged folks used to call her pantsuit...
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6/12/2014, 3:42 pm
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Barack Obama's legacy: He surrendered in two wars
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6/13/2014, 11:43 pm
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Obama plans to draw "blue line" in Iraq since Putin took away his red crayon.
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6/15/2014, 9:42 am
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Best Seller Sold Out!
Lois Lerner IRS Short Form:
"We lost Our Record Due to A Computer Failure."

Copy and Paste for unbelievable profits!
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