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News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)

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Laika, that is the successor to the necro-proxy voters.

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Or...

How about this one?

Obama To Outlaw All Use of Torture Including Noogies, Wedgies, Chinese Finger Cuffs, Dutch Rubs, and Dutch Ovens.

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Obama to outlaw Dirty Looks and Raised Eyebrows.

Exceptions: fascists, socialists and communists are permitted anything up to and including nuclear bombs.

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My wife has sworn that the next time she's thrown into the "Dutch Oven" I'm going to The Hague.

I just laughed as I flicked my Bic.

Some blathering about The League of Nations, something called "Geneva Convention", gas warfare, and the year 1924.

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Trojan Horse or Messiah?
$7648 Reasons Per Day Suggest: Trojan Horse is a Real Hay Burner!
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According to Federal Election Commission records, Obama For America paid $688,316.42 to international law firm Perkins Coie between January and March 2009.
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Tomorrow is the day of the original Trojan Horse.

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The 42 cents was the retainer.
The $688,316.00 was in fees.

The big question is WHO IS PETER SLUTSKY?

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Laika! How can you ask that? They have been on <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew- ... tsky">Dear Arianna's blog</a>

"Arianna Huffington. The face that lunched a thousand shits."

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Swine Flu mask construction now listed as leading cause of MM global warming.
Paradox sends world media to Biden compound for comment.

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New York Times wrote:Swine-flu masks have had the unforeseen effect of making identification difficult. Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann didn't recognize each other in the studio because wearing a swine-flu masks makes it very difficult to smell someone else's ass for recognition.

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Sen. Specter gigging for Obama's new court jester position. Cites divine knowledge of Jack Kemp's death. Obama puts Specter to work searching for birth cert.
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I think we should see if some foreign court house, or other place of birth registration, burns down.


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The Department of Peace, always fighting the next war like it was the last war. Or something like that...

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Margaret, you must not be critical of these people: after all, none of the words is misspelled. This is an improvement.

I would love to be able to contribute nothing to this web site. I will keep trying regardless of the outcome.



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You just did!
~Margaret

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Emmanuel Goldstein wrote:I would love to be able to contribute nothing to this web site. I will keep trying regardless of the outcome.
All the Progressives here contribute nothing to the smooth functioning of society. Indeed we are usually wrenches in its gears, stopping work so we can feel bigger about ourselves.

The only difference is that lots of us True Progressives here are very mouthy, in the belief, and it's well founded, that a lot of aggressive noise blanks out the utter vacuity of our positions.

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You say tomato, I say two trillion; why can't we all just get along?

What's a dictator to do?
<br>from The David Boze Show

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Oh, Margaret, why are you like that? You know that numbers mean what we say they mean. I think I'll become a Peter Pan Progressive--I will never grow up--and do just what I want. Wish on a Red Star...

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CIA LIED
SPEAKER CRIED!


HEY HEY BHO!
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO CLOSE GITMO?



T-shirts must be issued immediately!
Take No Prisoners!
Sponsor A Detainee!

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The Left dances on the grave of America

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Keith Olbermann #1 on Larry Craig's "Top Ten Liberals I'd Like To Hate Sodomize" list.

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On second thought perhaps Andrew Sullivan would be a better fit than Craig, being a gay conservative writer and all.

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Andrew Sullivan was known as being conservative when he was editor of <i>The New Republic</i> but was fired by Marty Peretz, who is I'm told the owner (bought as a present by his wife) when Sullivan would not quit criticizing the Holy Gore.

Now who knows what Mr. Sullivan is, other than unpredictable and engaging in tortured arguments. But conservative? Only in a few things.


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I love Michael Moore. He can hold utterly conflicting views in his head at the same time better than anyone else I know.

Who is not a ward of the state in a psychiatric hospital.

This proves he's a progressive's progressive because he instead of being force-fed psychoactive drugs, he gets to sit on the dais of big Democrat events.

It's so hard sometimes to tell the difference.

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"Conservatives racing ahead in EU parliament voting"

https://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/european_elections

Comrades! The situation is dire! Despite Premier Obama's travel to Eurabia this week, the imperialist reactionaries are reclaiming Europe!

Or is it that the intellectual nomenclatura has so much advanced that they can disguise themselves as "Konservatives" and be true to the Manifesto? Some informants have told me that the "konservative" CDU has become more leftist than The Party here in the USSA. This does make sense, as the integration of the Demokratic Germany into the "Federal Germany" some 19 years ago was an East German plot to begin with to conquer the remnants of imperialist western Europe.

Success! Europe has been liberated! Praise be Stalin!

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Pieck, that the United Kingdom Independence Party won over Labour is nothing short of astonishing. I read an article recently, in a conservative paper, urging people to vote Tory in national elections but UKIP for the European Parliament. It seems to have worked.

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The 1940 blockbuster "The Great Dictator" directed by Obama's teleprompter!

Prog off...

I just watched that great classic again. Man, is there fodder for the progressive movement in this movie!

"What are the workers unhappy about?"
"We are cutting wages and increasing working hours."
"Shoot them. I do not want unhappy workers."

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If I recall, there is a scene with elevating barber chairs. Comradette Nansky has gotten around all that with her special big plane which she has to have so she can fly all across AmeriKKKa without refueling.

Because she's worth it. And it keeps her from being around the barber chairs, who like to have someone to look down on.


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AP News wrote:
Joe Biden wrote:We've laid a good foundation in the first 100 days of the Recovery Act and in the next 100 we plan to build on that foundation and accelerate our efforts so we can accomplish even more," Biden plans to say today. "We're going to get more dollars out the door, more shovels into the ground and more money into the pockets of workers and families who need it most.

Vice President Joe Biden today delivered the speech that President Obama was scheduled to make. President Obama had to cancel the speech because his favorite TelePrompTer was having some identity issues and refused to work.

Displaying for the first time today new technology developed by Raytheon, Vice President Biden delivered the speech without notes, relying instead on words received directly by his hair plugs.

Members of the audience gave the speech a tepid reception until the White House assured them that this really was Vice President Biden.


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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Displaying for the first time today new technology developed by Raytheon, Vice President Biden delivered the speech without notes, relying instead on words received directly by his hair plugs.

And dearest darling comrade Theo, Obama's new TelePrompTer transmitter will fit over his head too. It is a thing of gold, studded with diamonds and rubies and sapphires, sort of a Carmen Miranda salad of riches. He will place it atop his head by his own hand, as if Napoleon, in a pomp and circumstance ceremony fitting for a self-anointed TelePromp-and-circumstance emperor.

[Hey, didja get the new Safari 4? Woo Hoo!]

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I'm From the Government and I'm Here to Change You

NPR - Using Psychology To Save You From Yourself wrote:Sunstein is just one of a number of high-level appointees now working in the Obama administration...

All are devotees of behavioral economics — a school of economic thought greatly influenced by psychological research — which argues that the human animal is hard-wired to make errors when it comes to decision-making, and therefore people need a little "nudge" to make decisions that are in their own best interests.

And that is exactly what Obama administration officials plan to do: By taking account of human psychology, they hope to save you from yourself.

According to this article, Prog economists believe that all previous economic theory is wrong because it didn't take into account your ignorance of the Prog world-view and what Progs think is good for you. But don't worry, they're hard at work.

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I am so excited about His O'liness's new crown/receiver. If he gets enough precious jewels he can hide the Dish label on it. Of course he will have to crown himself--since he doesn't bow, except to the king of Saudi Arabia, and his feet don't touch the ground, which is how he walks on water.

Of course Prog economists think that economic theory is wrong because it stands outside themselves. This is like someone you were involved with and who just kept pissing you off until you left, slamming the door. Then there follows a series of letters of apology, which do not once have, "I regret," or "I'm sorry" in them. Meaning that you're insane because you didn't get <i>his</i> worldview.

Since progism is essentially demented we can expect this. The only survival characteristic for a prog is manipulation, and then finally force.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Since progism is essentially demented we can expect this. The only survival characteristic for a prog is manipulation, and then finally force.

Yes. If you or I were to say something like this:

And that is exactly what Obama administration officials plan to do: By taking account of human psychology, they hope to save you from yourself.

we would say it tongue-in-cheek as part of a joke. But they are proud of it. The attitude of arrogance is exactly the same attitude that a hundred years ago drove the Progressive [Prog] movement to its imperialist ambitions for the sake of "our little brown brothers."

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Quite. But there is a difference and the progs would skewer me if I said it. When the Spaniards--who were mass murderers and looters--showed up on the Texas coast they met the Carancahua Indians. Who were minding their own business, which was cannibalism and they didn't have the wheel and medicine was rubbing fish oil on their bodies to cut down on insect bites. Well, the Spanish medicine was little better. "Enlightening" our little brown brothers was usually done horribly, but it eventually led to a better life. Mohammed Ali fought in Africa, and said, "I'm sure glad my ancestors got on that boat." I'm glad that my German and English ancestors had some Roman ideas, and Greek ideas, beaten into them.

Progs want to destroy so they never have to look up. There's no shame in being in a slum, or a gutter, if everyone else is too.

And I'm being generous. There's a fascinating article in <i>The Weekly Standard</i> by Andrew Stuttaford about megawealthy liberals and mere plutocrats. He's a perceptive writer.


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Do you have a link to that article comrade Commissar? I would like to irritate some progs.

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The inmates are running the asylum:
Image There, there, little budding prog. Drink the nice Kool-Aid. It won't hurt.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:There, there, little budding prog. Drink the nice Kool-Aid. It won't hurt.

But it smells funny daddy...

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"Earth may collide with Venus - in 3.5 Billion years"

We must act NOW!!!

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Why do you need to doubt, little Margaret. The Obama says it's good for you, and so therefore we know that it is. As Jim Jones had people participate in fake suicides when they thought that they were killing themselves, so must we follow Him over any cliff which he may lead us to.

But let us not expect him to jump over that cliff himself. We will march in lockstep over the cliff, just to see the light in His eyes.

mi
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White House embarrassed after mistaking a US Inspector General for a private company's CEO and ordering him to "resign or be fired within an hour".


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Election Observer Jimmy Carter Pleased With Iran's Honest Election

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And I'm sure that Jimmy Carter would be. The nano Jimmy Carter rabbits all hissed, "Jihad! Jihad! Jihad! Kill the Joos!"

But then they're stupid and small and annoying, like, er, the magnum Jimmy Carter rabbit.

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What happens when you cross the Nano Jimmy Carter Rabbit with the Cher Monster?

mi
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Obama supporters almost don't want the US attacked again for the country's past misdeeds.

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The nano Jimmy Carter rabbits breed by cellular division because nothing is good enough to breed with a nano Jimmy Carter rabbit. And you can see the results--all of the triumphs of the Carter years.


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Iranian Supreme Leader intensifies crackdown on election protestors; Obama takes notes for 2012.

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China warns U.S. not to spend so much, saying our debt might not be good to buy. Michelle buys new sparkly toed sneakers and Chris Matthews has orgasm on set.

mi
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Pressed for time, Democrats hire a speed-reader to read directly from Obama's teleprompter.

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To nationalize health care rapidly, TOTUS processor is upgraded to an Intel 3 GHz Xeon Nehalem with 2GB front-side bus and ATI Radeon HD 4870 graphics card.

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America's enemies abroad push back timeline for attack.
America's enemies within pass another bill.
Third world lifestyle now all the rage in blue section of the country.

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America Cheers as New Legislation Marches Through the Streets

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Secretary of the Interior vows to turn Neverland Ranch into 'King of Pop' National Monument

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Sick hugged by Obama observed to make prompt recovery. Religions world-wide consider announcing sainthood.

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Faith Hope and Change Got You Down?
Earn Just Under 250K Removing Obama/Biden Bumper Stickers.
Former Business Owners Preferred

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Media...Ya Gotta love'em:
"Leopard Not Only Changes Spot But Removes Fangs, Claws and Ignores Carnivore Capitalist Appetite To Do The Work Of Marx!"
https://www.reuters.com/article/ObamaEc ... nnel=10441

mi
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Al Qaeda announced reciprocal plans to withdraw to their bases in Iraq now, and leave the country completely at the same time US-forces will in 2011.

mi
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Activists <A href="https://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090708/t ... rrested</A> for trying to install the statue of Lenin, recently <A href="https://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/j ... v">damaged in Ukraine</A>, on Mount Rushmore.

mi
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<A href="https://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/f ... _.html">To commiserate with the downtrodden, Michelle Obama takes a counterfeit purse to Moscow.</A>

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Inside Obama's Thought Bubble:
"I think I'll call my friends at OSHA. That stair riser is just not in accordance with proper safety standards!"
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mi
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Navigator wrote:That stair riser is just not in accordance with proper safety standards
Indeed, it is not, Navigator! The risers cannot vary so much from one stair to another, and we must enforce this opinion in the "free" country. What consenting adults do in the privacy of their home is not anybody else's business — unless they renovate the home... In that case, proper permits are a must, the building and the fire inspectors need to know, and so does the tax-assessor.


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Michael Moore needs some more profits to stimulate research in mood equalizers and superior tranquilizers before <i>Sicko</i> and its ilk destroy the health-care industry. Seeing him interviewed is a treat. He shakes with righteous rage and it's like seeing a sloppy, unset vanilla pudding with mold on it shaking on the top of an unbalanced washing machine in the spin cycle.

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Evidently Michael Moore is not a member here or wouldn't be putting out feelers in the financial arena. Do you suppose Bawnie Fwank, Charles Schumer, Chris Dodd, president Carter, Acorn, the CRA, many of Obama's cabinet and Obama himself will play a cameo role in his new comedy spoof?

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I can see His O'liness taking a lead roll in this, doing a stand-up.

"Take my country! Please!"

Lots of Muzzies clap, and Bill Ayers gets a very warm spot behind a zipper.

"Capitalism doesn't work! Only capitalists work! I'm so glad Democrats aren't capitalists!"

Rim-shot.

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Liberalism....The Straw That Broke America's Back.


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Navigator, why would you want unemployment to decrease? This is a chance for all of us be wrapped in the welcoming arms of the Nanny State. The Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm) will come when there is <i>no</i> private commerce, only taking money out of one citizen's pocket to put in another's, with of course taking 80% of it for a handling fee.

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Commissar Theocritus,
Dang.....Did I say that?
I feel like a kid getting caught blowing spit wads from the back of the class.
The rubber band broke from my mask.
Do I get expelled?

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Obama to Africa: stop tyranny and corruption!

(It's our turn now.)


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I would not worry about what His O'liness says. After all, it's all programmed into the TOTUS, the TelePrompTer of the United States. And I'm so please that the Obots have managed to make it so that His O'liness can check out a woman's ass--such an improvement in programming.

I'm still trying to get in touch with Bill Ayers. He's the one who got His O'liness going, and wrote his books. At least the first one.

I am currently taking collections though for J-Lube for His O'liness. It must be very uncomfortable to have the arms of Nansky Peloski, Rahm "Eat Your Children" Emanuel and Bill Ayers up your ass.




 
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