Comrades,

I am offering one night stays in the same bedroom where Comrade Red Square slept for $150 American rubles. If Comrade Clinton could rent out the Lincoln bedroom, then I certainly ought to provide the same services in regards to the bedroom where Red Square slept.

Just think! I did not wash the sheets he slept on. Note their red coloration. You will be able to touch, smell, and sleep on the same unwashed sheets in the very room with the grated window as Red Square slept. When you come to stay in the Red Square bedroom you will be sleeping in a part of America, Comrade Katie Couric likes to call the unwashed middle and you will be sleeping between two unwashed sheets.

To my pleasant surprise, upon entering the room after he was gone, I discovered that Comrade Red Square also left behind some subversive right wing literature on the desk (see photo), so as an added bonus, you will be able to browse through this literature, and arm yourself with the sick ideas of the right wing activists who wrote the book.


Get your reservations in soon, as I expect soon, there will be a waiting period of up to one year.

The bed is made up of one three inch foam rubber mattress with a one and half inch memory foam topper on top of 24 cardboard boxes filled with books.

And, who knows, if you get here in time, you will be able to sample some of the same hard rock loaf of Russian bread from which Red Square munched.

So save your rubles, and take the vacation of your lifetime.

Comrade Leninka

P.S. To complete the experience, you might want to bring your own copy of Shakedown Socialism as we are not able to provide one for you here.

Reminds me of the Havana Hilton.

Comrade Leninka, are those bars over the window to keep people from getting in,
or possibly to keep the " guest " from trying to escape ?

I'm in! My only request is that you supply the room with a lifesize blow-up of Dear Leader and a commemorative Karl Marx night light.

O M G, I think I feel faint!! Dear Leninka, you have been so blessed to have THE Red Square, squared up in your personal abodeage! This is better than having dear Leaderalmost as grand as if you'd had dear Leader for a stay!

I have download these glorious photo's to add to my personal memorabilia collection,and who knows, one day I can claim he stay in my personable abode.

I am raising the price of beets, and our tasty beet vodka, so I can more quickly raise the money to purchase a stay in THE ROOM. I do not think true comrades will mind Capitalism for a Good Cause ™ which is of course, anything to add to the betterment of the collective, which this is so DO NOT DARE DISAGREE WITH ME.

I feel a Chris Matthews moment coming on!!!

OM MY, is there a possibly you will have a life sized blow up of Red Square!!?? tingle tingle tingle

Thank you, Leninka. On my part, I can testify to the fact that the bed represented a perfect red square. The room itself is comfortably square as well.

The figure wearing the red dress on the Red Square bed is a blow-up female comrade with the constitution of a bear, whom Leninka provided as part of her robo-comrade escort service. She just mostly sits there and responds to every word with a simple "Yes, comrade!" which I find sufficient in my communication with the masses. She helped me survive the several days of confinement in the midst of the kapitalist Texas.

I boarded the plane wearing a deceptive baseball hat that said I [img]/red/styles/pc/imageset/heart.png[/img] TEXAS. Of course, upon arriving to New York, I immediately rearranged the letters to say I [img]/red/styles/pc/imageset/heart.png[/img] TAXES!

Comrade Red Square : T.M.I. !

To raise Party revenue, I propose that Leninka cuts up the bed where Comrade Square slept into pieces and then sells it to the People, as they did with the beds from the hotels where Comrade Lenon and the Beatles stayed back in the glorious 60's.

I boarded the plane wearing a deceptive baseball hat that said I TEXAS. Of course, upon arriving to New York, I immediately rearranged the letters to say I TAXES!

Yes, it is indeed very dismal that Texas does not have state incoming taxage. We need to be taxed more so we can redistribution OPM just as dearest Leader demands. The lack of taxes encourages evil capitalist and their evil capitalist businesses to flock to Texas. (spit spit) . . and I hear Gov. Perry has sent letters to Washington state to tell big capitalist businessmen there to come to Texas, so they can sneak around paying their Fair Share*!!

It makes me spit. (spit)
*whatever government decides is 'fair'.

Leninka;

You will get many more CEU'$ if this highest honor is done thru bidding.
But it's going to be hard to be more equal than this bidder.


I feel a Chris Matthews moment coming on!!!

Welcome home Red Square, glad to hear that you were able to escape confinement before Leninka and her co-conspirator could complete their plan to launch a coup.

The majority of Inner Party members have apparently gone into hiding in fear of Leninka's hired assassins. Now that you are safely back in power I hope they'll soon return to their duties here at the Collective.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Welcome home Red Square, glad to hear that you were able to escape confinement before Leninka and her co-conspirator could complete their plan to launch a coup.

The majority of Inner Party members have apparently gone into hiding in fear of Leninka's hired assassins. Now that you are safely back in power I hope they'll soon return to their duties here at the Collective.

How dare you exploit and expound on such Party Member Private Matters of privacy!!!? I denounce your running off at the fingers!! We were SIMPLY having important "discussions" on impending implements and that is all. Why with this traitorous attitude of yours, Comarde Whoopie, I might have to spill the beans on your party escapades in RW's private abodage and the ensuing trip to the police station, but I would hate to do such a thing.

oops, it appears the photos were accidentally released. darn.

Frau, I was going to commend you and those brave few who didn't run away screaming like little girls when rumors of a hostile takeover of the Cube began to circulate.

I'll have you know that I only used the key I found under Red Square's welcome mat to let myself in to tidy up the place. You'd be amazed how cluttered his desk drawers are with confidential documents.

Now if you'll excuse me I must get back to compiling a list of traitors to purge which I'll turn over to the People's Director when he's fully recovered from his harrowing ordeal.

Comrade Whoopie,Collective fundraising tool; You could augment your rentals by raffling a ticket to sleep in the same room to a wider audience. The tickets could cost cash, or goods, or services or a combination of all three.Multiplied thousands of comrades would participate and you could select the "winner" at a "drawing".Any excess above costs would be sent to Comrade Square for the collective benefit of us all, da?

Thanks Tooorisky but that's Leninka's capitalist scam. I'll be selling indulgences as I create my list of traitors. Don't want your name on the list? Want some rival named? Make me an offer.

Comrade Whoopie,

What are you doing tonight? Oh, not that kind of an offer. The scheme would be Kapatalistic and denounced as such if she were to keep any [yech!] profits. Giving all the extra to Red Square, the good of us all, totally destroys any individual motivation or greed!

It sounds more like a people's collectivization effort!

Like putting all the Beets, Potatoes, and Rudabagas in one pot.

Speaking of pot these is another "opportunity" for the Collective to explore.

Comrade Tooorisky wrote: Speaking of pot these is another "opportunity" for the Collective to explore.

Comrade;
You missed the last 5 yr. plan on a "Collective Pot".
Here are the results so far.



<- That's why your the People's Director - attention to detail. Without it, we would miss some opportunity to tax twinkies somewhere in the USSA.

Gulag 4 Alfred - your Collective Pot depiction is historically correct except for one anachronistic detail. Remove the decadent bourgeois toilet paper and replace it with the Pravda newspaper - the only dual-purpose paper the proletarian needs for all his educational and hygiene needs.

I'm getting a tingle, and it isn't in my leg.

Red, I wouldn't wipe my ass with Pravda. (Take that as you will.)

Krasnodar wrote:Reminds me of the Havana Hilton.

Comrade Leninka, are those bars over the window to keep people from getting in,
or possibly to keep the " guest " from trying to escape ?

These bars serve many purposes. Comrade Red Square appreciated them as a place to hang his underwear at night to dry while he slept.

Comrade Gulag 4 Alfred,

What cute pink pajamas you have Comrade Chris Matthews wearing. If only he had been here with us to experience the glow of Red Square's presence. To hear Red Square's belches after meals, and to collect the butts of Red Square's cigarettes as collectible and valuable souvenirs.

Comrade Whoopie,

Me, stage a coup? Why I never! You must be projecting. I know you have been eying the possibility of overthrowing Red Square for years.

Comrade Videot,

Excellent idea, the cutting up of pieces. How small is too small - 1/2 inch squares might be just a little too stingy, however, maybe 2 inch squares would be good. Of course, I will keep a few to myself so as to assure that I get my "fair share."

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

I boarded the plane wearing a deceptive baseball hat that said I TEXAS. Of course, upon arriving to New York, I immediately rearranged the letters to say I TAXES!

Yes, it is indeed very dismal that Texas does not have state incoming taxage. We need to be taxed more so we can redistribution OPM just as dearest Leader demands. The lack of taxes encourages evil capitalist and their evil capitalist businesses to flock to Texas. (spit spit) . . and I hear Gov. Perry has sent letters to Washington state to tell big capitalist businessmen there to come to Texas, so they can sneak around paying their Fair Share*!!

It makes me spit. (spit)

cap.jpg

*whatever government decides is 'fair'.

Comrade Fraulein,

I love the idea of raising taxes on younger people so that I can have a gloriously comfortable retirement in the not too far future.

Leninka, as long as you're going to be selling sacred relics I'd be interested in a pillow case with some hairs on it or perhaps a used tissue. Anything with some DNA for my cloning experiments.

I'll root around in there, Whoopie, to see what I can come up with. I will tell you that aside from never making his bed, littering the place with beer bottles, and grinding the stumps of his cigarettes into the floor, he was quite the neat-nick.

All you comrades are missing the ticket. Leninka, when you had Red Square there, didn't you shake him down at gunpoint for his most excellent Chicago voter-fraud tips ask him for a few tips about psephology?

Yeah, I know. Selling the mattress is a big deal. Hell, what does that matter? Any old mattress in a storm, or even an Olds, as dear Teddy taught me.

But the real power and money is the voter fraud. SEIU running the voting machines in Nevada, Harrah's insisting that employees go vote. I couldn't be happier if they'd sent people round with guns, and Red Star, where are you?

So this souvenir stuff is just chump change. Let's get to the real power: complete 100% voter fraud.

I'm getting a tingle in my leg too.

Most Equal Leninka, I would like to reserve the room for New Years Eve 2011. I have a question though, may I bring a female guest? I swear to the Party that any sounds and smells that may emanate from the room are legal except in Utah and the other 49 states.

She's really nice and won't leave any messes on the floor...

Leninka, I know his kind, he probably insisted on washing the dishes after every meal. Probably tried to pay the bill every time you ate out too.

(people like that make me wanna smack 'em)

Comrade Theo,

Thank you for pointing out that we progressives often can't see the forest for the trees, the planet for the nation, or Queen Michelle's behind for Mt. Everest.

Comrade Buffoon,

I'll put you down for you and your lovely date. Can you get her to bring me one of her famous handbags? I hear she makes lovely handbags.

Comrade Whoopie,

You are mistaken. It was just the opposite. He insisted that I stand over a hot stove, no matter how hot and muggy it got, and cook his Russian pasta and blintzes. Speaking of Comrade Red Square, I just discovered a bottle of Brandy he left behind, and decided to pour myself a glass. Comrade Buffoon, I will try to save you a few drops, but don't count on it. This stuff is good.

Leninka, that would be his cough medicine. He told me once that he likes to take a little sip every so often to clear his throat.

I however prefer to gulp vodka to clear my mind.

Did he give you that excuse for drinking Brandy, too? Well, at least he's consistent.

In the meantime, I'm watching the election returns, and I see that Dear Leader has been disgraced. And Theocritus, you must be beside yourself, losing your favorite representative Ciro Rodriguez. Stop, stop, I can't stand it. I haven't seen this kind of carnage in years. What about the gavel? Nanski's gavel? Who will protect it and keep it in a place of honor, until she makes a comeback.

Leninka wrote: What about the gavel? Nanski's gavel? Who will protect it and keep it in a place of honor, until she makes a comeback.

Who among the sissy reactionaries will have the cahoonies to take it from the Iron Fister of the Hill? (weep, sob,,,, sniffle...)

We need to erect a commemorative shrine (sob,,,, sniffle) to this great female traveler's many accomplishments during the time she spent as "Speaker" of the Current Truth up on the Hill.
I'll start the auction to raise the necessary CEU'$, (weep,,,, fart ---- sniffle) by donating a pair of old holey socks & jockstrap I found outside the men's fitness area here at the Gulag last February. That reminds me, we requisitioned a new washer about 3 yrs. ago.... ? ?

When I first visited this thread yesterday, there were no comments, and I might have been the first.

For I was quite taken by the adorable teddy bear in the red dress and red bow, so I typed out something about Red Square sleeping with it and cuddling it, etc. But then I remembered Leninka saying on another thread that he had many shovelfuls of dirt on me, and would not hesitate to fling them onto the public dungheap if provoked. So I did not submit the post (duh).

But I see my fears were all for naught in light of his own comments concerning the bear.

At least he didn't sleep with a Mama Grizzly.

Oh, and Leninka, about the gavel? Who better to keep it safe than the one who knows best how to strike blows with long-handled tools? I refer of course to yours progressively.

Yes, Pinkie, I think that gavel would come in quite handy in the next show trial. Perhaps we can paint it red. Sorry you didn't go ahead and let it rip about Red Square and the bear. I can tell you that while in New Orleans, he had no problems enjoying himself. Coming to Houston, after that, was like being sentenced to the gloomiest Siberian gulag, i.e. New Orleans is his kind of town.

Comrade Whoopie,
I am so indeed sorry but there was a little accident when retrieving your "list" of traitors. I am assuming you have a copy back up and hopefully that is not the one we also found.

Comrade Gulag, I am delighted to see you have found the newest Gulag People's Latrine!
Ivan, please call our Gulag Medical Assistant's Assistant for immediate attention to your tingle. If treated quickly, they should be able to save one of the legs or at least an arm.

Dear Lenika, are not bars a delight. They keep unwilling comrades from escaping in untimely manners. That is why we installed them on our Voting Vehicles. And please ignore Comrade Whoopies ramblings (and at the same time, not revealing too much private information).

Most dear Comrade Theo, please, pleeease see our Med Assistant's Assistant ASAP!

Fraulein...AAAK! My list, my carefully contrived list...all gone. No I didn't have a backup copy.
I just want to remind all you "contributors" that your bribes are not refundable.

Leninka, I have a Polish Uncle who also likes to sip brandy for his cough (cough cough). I think it's a cultural thing.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Oh, and Leninka, about the gavel? Who better to keep it safe than the one who knows best how to strike blows with long-handled tools? I refer of course to yours progressively.

Who better indeed, Commissarka.

Please don't knick it up too much in bashing proles as Dearest Nanski will need it when she becomes the Speaker again.

ho ho ha ha ha . . . I mean of course, ooooh, Comrade Whoopie, as I said, such a (heeee hee) pity about your list. And about your Iphone, Ipad or Iwhatever that accidental feel into the Peoples Latrine Eastside. We would have retrieved it but no one volunteered. Please feel free to search yourself (I of course mean your personal self, searching the toilet area . . not you searching yourself... if that is something you tend to do?).

Brand??? Did someone say brand????

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Most Equal Leninka, I would like to reserve the room for New Years Eve 2011. I have a question though, may I bring a female guest? I swear to the Party that any sounds and smells that may emanate from the room are legal except in Utah and the other 49 states.

She's really nice and won't leave any messes on the floor...

amd_monica.jpg

Um, don't you mean 56 other states?

His O'liness is already pissed at you, Comrade Buffoon, you failed to get all the progressive voters out of prison to vote in time to keep the majorities.

I fear, having an election the after the day of the dead celebrations also led to massive absenteeism and pretty much wiped out all the dead vote. So I think I can cover for you with this in mind. (It will cost you in wild salmon, but we can discuss that later out back.)

Gulag 4 Alfred wrote:

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Oh, and Leninka, about the gavel? Who better to keep it safe than the one who knows best how to strike blows with long-handled tools? I refer of course to yours progressively.

Who better indeed, Commissarka.

Please don't knick it up too much in bashing proles as Dearest Nanski will need it when she becomes the Speaker again.

Pinkiegoldengavelof hopey.jpg

G4A, I like this very much indeed. And now you know why I, like the previous holder of the gavel, should never be pictured in closeup.

It's threads like this one that make me realize what a sophisticated and culturally aware group Red Square and assorted co-horts truly are !

(perhaps R.S. could enter his "blow-up companion" in this Thanksgiving Day's Macy's Parade. )

Krasnodar wrote:It's threads like this one that make me realize what a sophisticated and culturally aware group Red Square and assorted co-horts truly are !

(perhaps R.S. could enter his "blow-up companion" in this Thanksgiving Day's Macy's Parade. )

Your new avatar inspired me Comrade Krasnodar. Please take credit when credit is due.


(The next time the inner party is discussing Siberian assignments for this winter, I'll rub my head against Dear Leader's shin, lightly press my MP-446C against his knee-cap, and with a deft twist of his wrist, slam me against the wall while we all have a good laugh and empty another case of good potato vodka. I'll forget to mention that they should let you hang around. But I'll feel good about the effort I made as I wave good bye to the train you've just been put on. So don't forget your shovel Karsnodar!)





And to save Comrade Whoopie some time with his typical Cat insults... I present an inflatable....

Reiuxcat, I can tell you still haven't gotten over that trip we took to the beach.

In the railroad photo above, isn't that Red Square's " Vegas Express " club car ?

The tacky, metallic " Kremlin/ Taj Mahal " look is a dead giveaway as to its destination.
It probably even has its own heater.

Being " More Equal " must be nice.

Krasnodar, If I have correct remembrance of last *Fall Soltice Parade, Comarde Red Square tried to entry his Personal Inflatable Companion but was declined. (umm, perhaps it was Comarde Whoopie or Buffoon, I am not positive??) We never understood why the declination, since it is obviously so patriotic.

*Thanksgiving Day's to be replaced by the more PC "Fall Solstice"

Comarde Whoopie, I demand to return the gulag kitten to the gulag immediately!! Your drunken expeditions always lead to tomfoolery of the worse sort!

Die Frauleiner lady....

After your post I had a thought of Photoshopping this " inflatable icon " into the parade scene. However, like doing the limbo, this is one Krasnodar who can only stoop so low.

And if you see Red Square, tell him " No Refunds "! Once you take this " companion " out of the package, you're stuck with it . Just like the real Hillary.

Leninka,

I just received a call from Nancski. She going to have some time on hers hands and would like to make a reservation for The Comrade Red Square Suite for sometime in mid Jan. '11. Do you think you can squeeze her head in?

Comrade Krasnodarl it is true it is unrefundable but who would choose to return such a delightful Hillary blowupry? Now, gentlemen can have her companionship at any time, behold her lovely, eldering facial features and gaze upon her endowments blue eye. I should imagine all loyal comrades would want to purchase such a gift... one that keeps on giving and giving. At last, you can all feel like Bill!

Oh. My. God. Zampolit, how the hell did I not see that Nanski was soon going to be having some time on her hands? Even if she does run for Minority Leader. Pardon me while I finger tears from my eyes and give the finger to the RethugliKKKans.

And I think that you're right: Nanski should enjoy Houston. More to steal there. Now here in Pecos there is nothing to steal and frankly I don't think that my furniture can take another visit.

I mean, the woman comes in without her stiletto heels, and it's worse. She leaves claw divots on flagstone, for Lenin's sake. How do you do that?

And don't get me started on how she has to have her cocktails made. A bloody mary for her is Grey Goose and virgin, white, trust-fund Republican girls' blood. Stirred with a name infected with tetanus. I have to put on a hazmat suit to handle it. I am used to Bruno's depilatories, which were given to him by our Dear Many Titted Empress, but those are nothing to the tetanus.

It's so virulent that it can kill cancer cells. She love it because she says that it adds a certain je ne sais pas quoi to the blood. She just doesn't think that the rich, white, trust-fund Rethuglikkkan virgin blood is as tasty as it was before.

"Nanski, dear," I expostulated. "Do you think that you've just so old that you can't taste any more?"

She let out a squawk like a convoy of semi-trucks loaded with pigs slamming on the brakes at 80 mph and looked at me out of the side of her head. Well, she has to, you know. It's her eyes. And it's less unsettling.

"Awk! Awk! Eek! Eek! Tooki! Tooki!" Nanski screeched at me. "What was that?"

She started for me, gouging entire streaks in my flagstone flooring.

"Nanski, dear O'leader!" I hurried. "I mean that you are so sophisticated now that you can tell the difference between virgin blood from someone whose parents voted Republican as distinguished from the blood of someone whose parents AND grandparents voted Republican."

She relaxed. "Oh, Theocritus. You always know the right thing to say."

And so, Zampolit, we have to get Leninka to take her. I won't. Again.

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:Leninka,

I just received a call from Nancski. She going to have some time on hers hands and would like to make a reservation for The Comrade Red Square Suite for sometime in mid Jan. '11. Do you think you can squeeze her head in?

Comrade Theocritus,

What a beautiful homage to Comrade Nanski. I alway knew you were her biggest and gayest fan. As they say, it takes a queen to know a queen.

Yes, Comrad Blokhayev,

Of course, we can push all other reservations back to make room for Comrade Nanski. I don't believe that anyone more than Comrade Nanski will enjoy the smells, not only of Comrade Red Square, but all the smells of those who will have slept on the Red Square sheets, and the 3" foam mattress with the 1 and 1/2 inch memory foam topper atop 24 equally sized boxes full of books, after him. It should make it all the more pleasurable experience from her.

However, unbeknownst to Nanski, I do plan to tape the sound emanating from the room, and fully expect to hear: "My precious, my precious, oh, where is my precious gavel?."

Leninka, it is entirely mete that you try to console Nanski from the loss of her supersized gavel. After all, what is more important than something big to bang with? She's the Ron Jeremy of politicians. And we are the unpaid, and indeed subjects of Vivid Video USA.

You do need however to be careful with Nanski--that huge beak and all her face lifts and botox mean that her smeller is a good deal closer to her private parts than has even been seen in a human before who was not an actual Chinese contortionist. So do not by any means let there be the slighted smell of shit or piss, or Nanski will start a fugue and spout legislation like Reagan in The Exorcist.

Ronald Reagan (spit) was in "The Exorcist"??? I had no idea. Was it a cameo role as the devil?

I didn't know that either, Comrade Whoopie. Comrade Theocritus, I'll make sure to lay newspapers all over the place. I suppose Comrade Nanski would prefer to crap on pages of the San Fransisco Chronicle now. Surely, at least, she'll enjoy reading that, like an article entitled "Nanski Peloski's Survival Skills Face Daunting Test." Surely Nanski can survive a stay in the Red Square room. No one knows how to peck and claw her way around better than Comrade Nanski.

You know, however, gavels look an awful lot like hammers, to me, and since Nanski already has a hammer in one hand, perhaps we can find something in the shape of a sickle for her to carry in the other, that way, we could make her into our own personal mascot, here at the Cube. A banana, perhaps? Nanski could be portrayed in perpetuity, smashing a banana. I mean isn't that pretty much what Nanski did to the party?

Whoopie, that Reagan was the daughter who was possessed by the devil. Oddly enough the devil's name was not Pazuzu, but Reagan but only we adepts of the Party of Complete and Total Lunacy know that.

Leninka, I do like the idea of Nanski with a hammer and sickle, but could it just be little old Commissar Theocritus or do I see her hands becoming more and more, er, claw-like? I wish that some of our Photoshopping comrades would do an image of her with a shortened chin and claws for hands.

Hmmm. Smashing a banana? We could have her on a stage show with Gallagher, smashing a watermelon.

Yes, claws would be nice. And Hammer and claws would be symbolic, as well. Nanski with lobster claws would be fitting.

You know, I'm quite concerned though about Nanski's fall in stature. Like a lobster, she is now crawling the floor of the ocean, and I feel a little lost without her. We will rise again, of course, as soon as the Republicans go back to harping on nothing but their social issues - we can always count on their gay bashing, and wishes to do away with no-fault divorce, etc. (page 7 of the Texas G.O.P. platform), but in the meantime, I don't like not having a yeowoman like Nanski. Who will save the planet, now? Who will make sure the children have federally funded condoms? I'm a little beklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. It's just starting to hit me that she's really not going to be the Speaker of the House Progs anymore, and it's overwhelming.

Leninka, if life hands you lemons, make bloody Mary's I always say. In her new role Nanski will have the freedom she couldn't enjoy as Sphincter of the House. Now she can say what she wants and do as she pleases hiding safely behind the bush of Minority Leader.

I expect she'll be more of a thorn in the eye than before. I'd even predict that she gets more face time on TV (courtesy of the MSM) than that Boner Bonner Bohener guy. No matter what he does, everyone will want to know what Nanski thinks about it. How she plans to oppose it. How many Party faithful she has behind her.

Leninka! Do not say "beklempt!" That's a Yiddish word! All progs hatehave the Jews. Just go to Europe now and you'll hear the most amazing anti-semitic insults. And we all know of course that the Joos are responsible for everything, including the fall of man and the Big Bang.

Or was that Bill Clinton? Nah. He couldn't do the Big Bang. All he could do was the Small Blow.

But not to worry about Nanski. She will rise, like Grendel's mother, from the Stygian depths of the Marianas Trench, to work her ectrodactylic evil.

Ectrodactylic ?

For cry'n out loud, Theo !

I just packed away my fishing waders for the season, and thanks to your sophist, yet confusingly elegant verbosity, I'm going to have to go dig them out again just so I can get through posts like this!

Somebody get me a supervisor..........

You'll have to excuse Comrade Theocritus, Comrade Krasnodor, he once used Red Square's time machine and spent a little too much time enjoying himself in some Roman baths.

Leninka, I did not know that Red Square had appropriated 7.62, the Commissar of Time's, Wayback Machine. Thank you for telling me; I would hate to have kept sending 7.62 some tribute once a month, just in case I had need of it to avoid prosecution in case I murdered that horrible bitch Nanski my latest fête for Nanski wasn't perfect in any way. Now I'll send those RethugliKKKan virgins to Red Square.

Krasnodar, I am not a sophist. I am a casuistrist. Sophistry is child's play. Mix in some of the old Clinton parsing, high-flown, sonorous, sententious, and completely exiguous lyrical rhetoric of Dear O'Leader, and a swinish grunt or two from our Many Titted Empress, and you have casuistry.

With that I can prove that black is white and up is down and unemployment is a great generator of jobs. And do you have any evidence that it isn't?

That, dear Comrade, is the Perfect Prog Casuistry.

Make a baseless assertion. That moron Christopher Hitchens would say that an assertion made without evidence can be dismissed without evidence. Well, why didn't he make up the evidence?

Jeez. Make up the evidence, if you have the time. Tell people that the world is going to end. Tell them that you are the only salvation. Panic them, and set them against their neighbors.

Tax them ruinously. Pat down their bank accounts and then their groins. Make them hate their neighbors, who might be getting more from Uncle Sugar.

And if we're all miserable and horrible and awful, then the our work will be complete, and we can rule with complete power over their bodies, their minds, and their souls. They'll be tiny, shriveled little souls, to be sure, but we'll own them.

Pardon. I need to change my underwear.

Casuistrist, huh ?

C.Theo, I most sincereously hope that you will not take of offense that I, Krasnodar, will find it of most difficulty to remember such a word as" casuistrist ". I think " bullshiter " will work just as well in the writing, yes ?

( If someone mentioned either of the Clintons to me, that word is invariably the first to come to mind. )

Dammit Krasnodor,

How else would I learn big words in an amusing fashion, if it weren't for Theocritus?

" Damn it " is the proper way to write it, Leninka. Ask Comrade T if this is so.

And not to be picky..........its Krasnodar, not Krasnodor ( a kitchen appliance )

Most worthy Krasnodar: sophistry is casuistry which is a clever lie, which is the progressive philosophy.

Get it?

This is the only truth that you will ever hear from me.

Get it?

I want to hear you say "Yes," and I want to be the last truth that I hear from you.

Get it?

" Get it ?", said the man standing there with his MSNBC custom edition impalement pike.

"Yes", the poor defender of State mediocrity replied, quaking in his 2nd hand fisherman's boots......

Krasnodar, "MSNBC custom edition impalement spike."

Thank you. That will be the subject of many a wet dream over the next few months.

After all, I'm a Made Prog.

Comrade Theocritus,

The term " Made Prog ".......Would that be likened to someone needing to roll a wheelbarrow in front of himself, so as to give proper support for his " endowments "?

Must be interesting for a Made Prog to go to Walmart................