Really, it was madness. I attended an invitation for a People's Party party on Colonel 7.62's luxury people's yacht. Other big names were in attendance, and the party was going well when the Colonel pulled me aside and asked, "Want to see my laboratory?" "Sure," I said, and was led down to the laboratory which was about a 20 minute walk from the bridge. Televisions and computers were arrayed as if in a Best Buy display and the requisite Jacob's ladders abounded among test tubes and other scientific paraphernalia. "Is this where you alter time?" I asked. No direct answer. Just a smile. "Watch this..." A massive power switch was engaged, lightning flashed, and a new image appeared on the television screens: President Franklin Delano Obama before Congress on December 8, 1941...

"Yesterday, December 7, 1941 - a date upon which we must all reflect - the United States of America was suddenly and unexpectedly visited by peace emissaries of the Empire of Japan.

The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its Government and its Emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after a Japanese visit to Oahu, the Japanese Ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to the Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply accurately faulted America for its interference in the Pacific since 1898, it contained no threat or hint of war or armed attack, thus affirming Japan's peaceful intentions.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the visitation was planned many days or even weeks ago, although, perhaps because of our racism and xenophobia, we were insensitive to the needs of the Japanese government. During the intervening time the Japanese Government has made several overtures to the United States by statements which we misunderstood and expressions of hope for continued peace.

The result of yesterday's manmade disaster on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to imperialistic American naval and military forces. Very many American lives have been lost, and many of you are standing here before me now. In addition American ships, en route to air raid villages and kill civilians, have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

Yesterday the Japanese Government also reached out to Malaya. Last night Japanese ambassadors of peace reached out to Hong Kong. Last night Japanese ambassadors of peace reached out to Guam. Last night Japanese ambassadors of peace reached out to the Philippine Islands. Last night the Japanese reached out to Wake Island. This morning the Japanese reached out to Midway Island.

Japan has, therefore, undertaken a series of cries for help extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the need for hope and change in our nation.

As Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken to emphasize the many good and positive aspects of Japanese culture – like sushi.

Always will we remember the character of our arrogant onslaught against them. No matter how long it may take us to overcome our irrational resentment, the American people in their righteous might will win through to a better multicultural understanding.

I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only reeducate ourselves to the uttermost, but will make very certain that this form of bigotry shall never endanger us again.

Hostilities regrettably exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people are likely to overreact and assume that the acts of a few misguided individuals represent the Empire of Japan as a whole. Nothing could be further from the truth. Japan is a peaceful nation, eager to reach out to its neighbors and share Japanese culture with them, as they did in Nanking. In any case, we can always absorb another attack.

With confidence in our public education system - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us me.

Let me be clear: I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly oil embargo that we placed on Japan, America should admit that we have behaved arrogantly in the past, and issue an apology to the Japanese Emperor."

Is it not fun to visit my Yacht? Isn't it Glorious how history is shown to represent Current Truth(TM). You are always welcome aboard Comrade Commissar. There are many pages in the history books that must be cut out, and replaced with new ones, and you excel at the creation of those new pages.

Comrades,

Does this mean we are not to regard the EOJ as an A Hole, but as a whole?

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Is it not fun to visit my Yacht? Isn't it Glorious how history is shown to represent Current Truth(TM). You are always welcome aboard Comrade Commissar. There are many pages in the history books that must be cut out, and replaced with new ones, and you excel at the creation of those new pages.

I'm confused Comrade. Isn't that what we are doing now? Who is the revision Czar in charge of the Muslim faith anyway? Oh. She got killed by a suicide bomber.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:I'm confused Comrade. Isn't that what we are doing now? Who is the revision Czar in charge of the Muslim faith anyway? Oh. She got killed by a suicide bomber.

Of course. Is this a less than subtle way of saying your wormhole pass has expired Comrade? *sigh* You'll have a new one in your mailbox this morning, right after I purge the secretary in charge of such things.

Komissar Blogunov wrote:

Really, it was madness. I attended an invitation for a People's Party party on Colonel 7.62's luxury people's yacht. Other big names were in attendance, and the party was going well when the Colonel pulled me aside and asked, "Want to see my laboratory?"

AAAKKKK! COMRADE WHOOPIE SAID THE SAME TO ME AND I SLAPPED HIM INTO NEXT TUESDAY! You should be weary and warned of his wily way, Komissar Blogunov! (And did I mention his jokes??) Do not be fooled by his 'laboratory' or 'lab' or 'Larry'!! It is a hoax! But as for what else you were in reference of, yes, I agree. Amerika needs to go on apology tour after apology tour.

Actually Frau, I was just asking directions to the LAVATORY when you up and sucker punched me. That was bad enough but then you took off your shoe and started beating me all the while babbling something in German about a giant rabbit. You really need to lay off the vodka at least until after lunch.

Frau?! I'm shocked. You beat up Whoopie, and didn't post pictures? For shame. How else are we supposed to appreciate and understand Whoopie's punishment if it hasn't been detailed for the masses?

Comrade Whoopie, you and I both know you were talking about "laying on the floor". . " and other privately held options which I did not want to be hearing about... or seeing any RABBITS! And I can give no apologies if you are not able to avoid a small punch from a lady. You are one to talk about laying off vodka, when you personally smelled of old beer cans. You are not fooling with me or fool me, dear comrade!

Most kind and loyal comrade Colonel, you are correct in my neglectedness of posting photos . . . I believe they are still in my access, and will post ASAP. They will be most interesting, I am of no doubt.

Excellent work Kommissar Blogunuv, You made the Obama blog roll of secret party secret....

I KNOW NOTHING!!!

RR, I am honored.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

Komissar Blogunov wrote:

Really, it was madness. I attended an invitation for a People's Party party on Colonel 7.62's luxury people's yacht. Other big names were in attendance, and the party was going well when the Colonel pulled me aside and asked, "Want to see my laboratory?"

AAAKKKK! COMRADE WHOOPIE SAID THE SAME TO ME AND I SLAPPED HIM INTO NEXT TUESDAY! You should be weary and warned of his wily way, Komissar Blogunov! (And did I mention his jokes??) Do not be fooled by his 'laboratory' or 'lab' or 'Larry'!! It is a hoax! But as for what else you were in reference of, yes, I agree. Amerika needs to go on apology tour after apology tour.

Oh.....my mistake, Komissar B !

At first I thought you said "alarming ". Now I realize you wrote " alluring ".

Got it. ( I've just never seen the Fraulein and that term together in the same sentence.)

Indeed, Komissar B is a very manly man. I am confused though, why the vodka I drank in the lab made me forget what happened over the next few hours. And why I am told not to ask or tell about the matter. Most peculiar.