Fellow Comrades,

With all the hot topics going on today—recent earthquake in Japan with nuclear reactor resting dangerously on the precipice of a meltdown, Libya's thugocracy while Dear Leader dithers into irrelevancy, Dick Turbin threatening to roll back tax breaks for Big Oil™ so we can all have some relief at the pumps. way to go,"dick"! Obama's insouciant dereliction of duty under oath—none can be hotter than the KKKonservative Reichwing Rethuglikkkan assault on public sector unions! Of all the talk about radioactive fallout over our beloved Left Coast, public sector unions are still down for the struggle fighting back the forces of the hate-mongering, anti-union kkkapitalist tyrants (may they rot in Hell!) who pay taxes to support the insatiable unions' appetites and fulfill the promises through legislation that are a result of the unholy alliances with their sycophantic political allies in government.

To remind us why we need to genuflect with our union brothers and sisters in Solidarsk, here are 5 things the unions have done for Amerikans:
~
1] Unions Gave Us The Weekend

Aside from the fact that Allah, who was the first uncredited union organizer, gave everyone Sunday as a day of rest, Unions decided to do one better. In 1870 productivity was way up due to the average work week being 61 hours. Unions realized this precedent-setting trend and decided to step in with massive strikes against the employers to try to reduce the amount of time workers spent on the job, with the aim at lowering standards and productivity. This scheme worked all the way up to 1937 which created enough of a political movement to enact the Fair Labor Standards Act which in turn redefined lower standards and lower productivity as "leisure time". Today this "leisure time" is also done on the clock so as nothing is lost in the compensation.

Today 61 hours have become the norm again among non-union workers, in order to pay the taxes to support the union workers.

2] Unions Gave Us Fair Wages And Relative Income Unity

Unions have always been striving hard/pressing forward towards the glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday™. Fair wages means everyone gets paid the same no matter the output. If you're out in the beet field harvesting 20 beets a day, and your fellow comrade only harvest 5 beets a day, why should you be paid more for your labor because you worked harder? It's not fair to your fellow comrade who, for a multitude or reasons or excuses, can't produce on the same level as you. This is FAIR. Fair wages means that everyone is the same no matter what skill level, edu-ma-K-shun, status, age, weight or height. A day's pay for a day's work.

All income is relative regardless of work ethic. This puts pressure on those individuals who would dare step out of the bounds of the lowest common denominator already established by "union rules", or better know as "The Contract". Such acts of "individuality" will be stiffled and veiwed as contempt of "The Contract".

3] Unions Help End Child Labor

During the Industrial Revolution between the 18th and 19th century, prosperity grew rapidly due to increased productivity through new mechanical inventions that were being introduced. Before illegal aliens were popular, child labor played a large role before 1881 in helping with this prosperity. Being that children were learning a work ethic and the basic tenets of capitalism during their shifts, unions recognized that the children were missing out on being properly indoctrinated in mass classrooms. They were not being taught about Global Warming™, tolerance, Social Justice and saving the planet from capitalist oppressors. The unions organized to stop the child workforce in order to bring them into the classrooms first. In 1938 the Fair Labor Standards Act was passed which regulated child labor thus relegating the Children™ to their classroom Jiffy-Lobos™.

4] Unions Won Widespread Employer-based Healthcare

In 1942 the government set up a National War Labor Board that was given the power to put caps on wages. In order to attract talent, non-union businesses had to come up with creative and innovative ways to do so. Thus came the "fringe benefit" packages that are still used today to entice worthy workers. While this has nothing to do with unions, it is only fair that the unions take credit for something the government at the time enacted. Unions pay off politicians who, in turn, pass legislation. So therefore there is a connection with unions who do all they can to claim the credit and the glory for OPW (other people's work).

5] Unions Spearheaded The Fight For The FMLA

The FMLA, or Family Medical Leave Act, was one of Bill Klinton's major agendas. With the eternal chimeric struggles the unions have with management, the notion that someone with family needs couldn't get time off work became the strawman issue for the basis of this Act. Unions always need an excuse for a perpetual adversary while trying to reduce productivity and standards. The FMLA was a made-to-order tête-à-tête between the unions and Bill Klinton because one scratches the back of the other and the employer gets to pay the tab. Unions take credit for this because they supported Bill Klinton. It's 'credit by association' without having to actually do anything of substance. In 1993 the FMLA was signed into law by Bill Klinton while the unions take credit for someone else's work—which is the Progressive way.

So... have you hugged your Union today?

You obviously missed my earlier post. I'll add to your 5 here, thereby raising you one:

6] Unions add zest and flavor to cheeseburgers
Who can imagine, say, a Double Whopper With Cheese without Unions to add that extra zing to its deliciousness?

I think I've seen your post already. This is a new one minus 'onions'.

Oh dear.

* mentally subtracts zesty and zingy burgerness *

I sowwy :)

I have tried hugging my Union today but it was hard getting my arms around him since he was still passed out cold on the ground. Our Unions comrade enjoy their comradely, do they not?

Fraulein,

Don't ask what your Union™ can do for you, but ask what can you do for your Union™!

I must denounce that comment dear loyal comrade da-PHUH. Unions is... are all about doing for the peoples. Is that not why we give them monies, so they can give us free goodies? Yes, it is. It would not be proper to do for them when their entire existence is doing for me. And Obama knows, I need others doing stuff for me. That is fair and equal.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:I must denounce that comment dear loyal comrade da-PHUH. Unions is... are all about doing for the peoples. [highlight=#ffff00]Is that not why we give them monies[/highlight], so they can give us free goodies? Yes, it is. It would not be proper to do for them when their entire existence is doing for me. And Obama knows, I need others doing stuff for me. That is fair and equal.

You see, dear Fraulein, you made my point: We give to the unions. Of course they give us goodies. It's a circular relationship... we scratch their backs; they scratch our... "ahem". It's just the nature of things.

ummm, let me rephrase my phrasing. I am forced.... obligated, through no desire of my own, to "give" these monies. Monies I would like to keep for the Frau use, say like for the beauty shopping. But, noooo, dear gestapo Union leader tell the Frau I must give and keep on giving!
I am delighted, cough, of course, but I could use monies to do so much other good.

and this!....

I feel it incumbent upon me to denounce bourgeoisie 20" box fan.
Fur coat OK; is cold in gulag.

Yes, dear Comrade R.O.C.K. but no denouncement will be accepted - it gets up into the 100+ degree mark in the Texas gulags!! (the coat is for occasional usage when power is rescinded by the power company when there's 12" of snow on the ground)

Frau,

That isn't a Wal-Mart cart in that second picture I see, is it? And who the hell-o would buy a $hitload of flashlights anyway? That better be a Union™ shop or else!

THAT IS NOT AN EVIL, NON-UNION WALLEY MART, COMARD WHINNY!! As you can clearly see, it is orange and not blue, as Wally Mart (SO I HEARD). This is the union supporting, undocumented worker loving Home DepO. How dare you insinuate the loyal Frau would go to a Walmart!?

p.s. DISREGARD ANY PHOTO'S AND SUBVERSIVENESS EMAIL YOU RECEIVING TRYING TO MOVE THE FRAU WAS IN A WALMART. THEY ARE FAKE, I SAY!!

P.S.S plus, that is FAKED fur and day old food to be redistributed to the poor, little people.

My spidey senses are tingling... I feel a denouncement coming on...

piffle