A SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR THOSE OF YOU AGED 50 AND OLDER!

COMRADES! Did you know that little red plastic card from the AARP that shows up in your mailbox every month or so is something that is unlike anything else you cherish?

That's right. It's not just given to you. According to Obama's White House, it's something you've actually EARNED!

https://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2011/08/04/happy-birthday-president-obama-0

On August 4, 2011 President Obama turns 50 years old. He's not the first Commander in Chief to earn his AARP card while in the Oval Office – take a look at some other Presidents who celebrated this
milestone while serving our country.

Yes, comrades, even James K. Polk earned his AARP card while serving his country!

No tricks. No gimmicks. No need to even work! All you have to do is make it to your 50^th birthday, and you've earned that card with no more effort than is required to become President or even to receive the Nobel Peace Prize!

Imagine earning something—and for only $16.00 a year—just for turning 50!

So don't throw away those AARP cards anymore! Keep them and send the AARP $16.00 per year, so you can get your free canvas organizer for the trunk of your car.

Because you've EARNED it!

I. Want. That. CANVAS TRUNK ORGANIZER!!111!!!!!11!!

Thanks a LOT, Comrade Pinkie!

Now I suppose I'll have to look through all that shredded paper from my paper shredder and try to paste it all back together again. I know I "earned" that too!