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But now I have to go to Staples and order office supplies...I've never been a secretary before.
I've always given the orders.
This is all new to me.
Better to be employed than on unemployment, that's worse than welfare!
At least with welfare you get a car, healthcare, food, you name it. Unemployment, all you get is a check. I've written plenty of those.
OK, once I go to Staples, is there a store called Paper Clips? Trombones en espaniol? And one called Pens? Where can I find some typewriter ribbon? Erasers?
I need help people! (Stomp, stomp)
Bill has told me to lower my hemline and show some thigh. He said that always worked for his secretaries and interns. I don't understand.
Do you think Obama will like my thighs?
What do thighs have to do with anything?
Bill also said show some cleavage. Why?
I am not Obama's "step 'n fetch it" either. He can make his own damn coffee!

Oh, I'm so confused.

Gawd damn the GLASS CEILING!

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Sucks to be you, Hill. I guess we can call you Hill now that you will spend most of your days groveling before His Most Exalted Awesomeness. Must hurt being a lowly commoner now, huh Hill? You are just another nobody member of the Cabinet. Hell, Rahm has more authority than you do, not to mention Podesta!

Ugh, I would really hate to be in your trotters right now. Everyone hates you and now you will spend most of your time in Foggy Bottom (soon to be renamed Big Bottom in your honor, Hill).

It is just a matter of time before Comrade Red Square give the Pple's Leader column to the Messiah. Tsk. Tsk. Poor, poor Hillary.

(smacks Hill on the ass cheek with a snow shovel -- it is the only thing large enough to do the job) Now go get me a Latte! Oh, and a muffin!

Such a failure.

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Fuck you Meow!

And from now on you may call me ......

Madame Clinton!

I now run the biggest whorehouse on the planet. The Obamessiah is my number one pimp!

You fool!

My cabinet. My Pimp. My Planet.....hahahaha!
I'm smokin' a phattie with Henry K. as I write this!

And shut up Theocritus or I'll clean out your wine cellar. I still have the power to make people miserable!


...oh..oh...I mean "Citizens".
Yes, Citizen of the World.

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Where is my latte, Hill?? Oh, and tell the help... oh, wait, you're the help. Yes, make sure the sheets are silk when I decide to stay in the Lincoln bedroom... Hill, why aren't you writing this down? You should be writing this down... yes, pick up the pen and the pad... OK, good, now scribble what I just told you... Silk sheets in the Lincoln bedroom if and when I decide to stay the night.

I also want the halls cleared at promptly 9:30 sharp when I do stay... can't have the likes of John Podesta or some other weirdo wandering about at night to scare the bejebus out of me. I also want breakfast in the morning, so be sure to inform the kitchen staff to have it ready by 8:00... unless, of course, you have to cook my meal which would probably be best instead of bothering the poor oppressed kitchen help to do it.

I think I will inform PRESIDENT OBAMA that you volunteered to cook me breakfast, Hill. Yes, I think I'll do that.

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Shit on a Shingle with a side of sliders, coffee, and fresh snake blood, 8:00AM sharp....Just wait a gawddamn second. Since when did The Chairman ever get out of bed before Eight AM? More trickery Meowsevitch?

Actually Rahm will be serving you fresh...well, not really "fresh"...sushi at 8AM. We just got his package returned from Radnoskovich unopened.

I just found out "Madame Secretary" carries a ton of weight and my trotters were built especially for that!
I'll be heading to Moscow and telling Putin to pull out his something or other from somewhere. I think I'm pretty good at getting men to pull out and usually they never come back. I'm perfect for this job.

Madame Clinton

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Well isn't that just Craptastic, as in Madame foot is stuck in the door!

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Yo Foos,

I KNOW that the pre-purge agreement between the Kalifornya Communists and Northeast Elite Progressives as signed by Pelosivich and Teddy agreed to back the Chicago Machine's Thug candidate on the proviso that the Clintons be purged and exiled to some red-neck trailer park.

Who let Sandy Burgler see the secret document? Ayers??! IT IS ALL GONE!

Comrade Ayers, Bill, Billy Kostya! What about the small payout for me, your humble servant and worker in this brave new world? Am I not getting the Secretary of Drive-bys and De-Fence? Gates!!!

Yo! What about all the free supplies I got you and yo akorn homies?

Damn. She ain't purged....this will only get worse....

Comrade “Pul” хулиганье
Tiglath-Pileser III
Over 2753 Years of Organizing Communities

And makin' thugs out you suckas.
From the cradle to the grave.

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Secretary Hillary, I understand you are now in charge of making sure proper refreshments are provided for meetings etc. The Obamessiah has called me in for a tete a tete and I would like to show him some proper Louisiana delights. Please have your people get in touch with mine to arrange this. Your years as First Lady will no doubt give you the experience needed for your lofty position... making sure the ambiance is correct, needed supplies are available, the coffee is not cold etc. Congratulations....

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I hope Hillary makes some of her delicious cookies, Pup. Would you like to make the collective some cookies, Sec. Hill? Hmm?? Would you like to do that for us??

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I don't want any cookies mad be Hillary. I don't trust her handling my food.

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Secretary Hillary sure is taking her sweet time about getting here with those cookies and coffee. No wonder she was let go from her previous position da? Lenin knows, she sure can not make it on her looks any more, so she better tighten up her secretary skills.

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Chairman, what is taking Sec Hillary so long with that coffee and cookies?

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Chairman, what is taking Sec Hillary so long with that coffee and cookies?
The signal is "Restoration".
Hillary is waiting for Rahm to roll over, creating a Constitutional crisis.

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That hardly seems reason for the Secretary to take so long with this. The Chairman and I are busy as you know, and we can't do our best on empty stomachs and hung over.

Did you hear the Obama is announcing a "Climate Czar?" Lenin help the person who started this "Czar" thing. A Czar was all powerful, so what power will the Climate Czar have? Perhaps the Empress will be jealous and insist she be Czar of State?

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:Did you hear the Obama is announcing a "Climate Czar?" Lenin help the person who started this "Czar" thing. A Czar was all powerful, so what power will the Climate Czar have? Perhaps the Empress will be jealous and insist she be Czar of State?

Now that the party has the power, we need to signal the media that the real title for these powerful appointees isn't "Czar" but is "Commissar."

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Secretary Hillary, would you please bring Comrade Cradle to the Grave some cookies and coffee when you bring ours? Please hurry it along Hill, we have important things to discuss.

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Chocolate chip with a black and bitter.

And $20 cash, too. Give me some money, an' nothin' will happen ta yo.

I be redistributin' wealth fer da local community organizer.

I have t spray some RNC SUVs with O-tags

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Komrades, Fearless Leader Obama has created website to identify the enemies of state called It is duty of all citizens to inform the authorities of all those attacking the glorious reputation of Fearless Leader by entering their name on Kommrade Anthony Wiener and Leader of Supreme Soviet, Eric Holder, will produce the Weiner-Holder Report. This will identify the subversives so that we may cleanse state of bourgeois pigs. Today, Mr. Potatohead was rumored to criticize Mrs. Potatohead for voting for our glorious leader, O'bama. I reported him on He has since been turned into hashbrowns.